Hebonics

So, hell will be this jungle...

Probably with beautiful birds that we'll be too damned hot to appreciate.

A classic example of the difference between efficient (swamp coolers) and effective (air conditioners). Low humidity helps the coolers, but I begin to suspect the real secret is that high, arid locations with clear skies tend to cool off over night.

Well, the temp cycle is different than I'm used to; heat peaks here later in the day. It has taken about forever for me to absorb this fact.
I don't remember LA being difficult at night, and we never had a.c. On the other hand, I didn't live in the SF valley, though I was there often enough.
I'd have to look at the valley weather data to look at the patterns. But, LA is a semi arid desert, so point taken.

I also remember Chicago, again with no a.c., with high humidity and temps stayed very hot at night if not at peak, if memory is right. At least discomfort did.

A brand new woid to add to my (very limited) Hebonics vocabulary. (Tho I'm not sure about "shmatta", but think I get the gist.)

Hang in there, bubbeleh. Winter is not too far away!
I know that's your favourite time of year.
Try sitting very still & meditating on snow, beautiful snow, & see if that helps any.
(It probably won't, but it's worth a go! )

olga, A shmatta is a rag, but it actually refers to something you wear, not something you use to dust the furniture.

I should live to winter. Actually, I should live to cool.

This global warming business is a pain in the tuchus.

So the temperature on the outside is cooler. When will it get inside?

Who knows. Still schvitzing.

My Oreos got sogged up from all the humidity. No crunch. Only good for dunking. Such a limitation pisses me off.

You spend money on a cookie, you expect a little crunch.

A discussion on another thread reminded me of something. It's a miracle I remember anything anymore.

Degrees of oydom:

oy
oy vey
oy gevalt
oy abruch

No one ever explained these to me. They should explain something?I should live so long. I just picked it up from usage, context, and the level of emotion when the expression was uttered.

I'm impressed as hell at a language that has this degree of specificity with a kvetch word.

Now I wish I'd asked more questions. The problem with asking questions was that if people were talking Yiddish in my presence, they were saying something they didn't want me to know about. I got a few lessons from my grandparents, but nothing juicy.

Back to the topic. Last night I was working on a manuscript. I heard myself mutter oy abruch, and I surprised myself. Hadn't used that one in a long time. Yes, the manuscript is that bad.

Oy- A generalized commentary on life!'s condition. Nothing terribly serious.

Oy vey- One notch more serious,but still not terrible."Oy vey", The wedding is next week, and I still can't zip the dress.

Oy gevalt-Up another notch- That farshtunkiner kid got chocolate all over my new couch.

Oy. A bruch- The car dealer swore that it was in perfect condition. Right after the warrantee expires, and the whole damn car is falling apart!

Or........I just took a look at my portfolio!

I sent a dear friend a link to this thread. She sent me the following joke in response. After some rumination and cogitation, I decided to post it here. Thanks, M.

Morris gets a new dog and can't wait to show him off to his neighbor. So when the neighbor comes over, the guy calls the dog into the house, bragging about how smart he is. The dog quickly comes running and stands looking up at his master, tail wagging furiously, mouth open, tongue hanging out, eyes bright with anticipation.

Morris points to the newspaper on the couch and commands, "FETCH!"

Immediately, the dog climbs onto the couch and sits down. His tail wagging stops and the doggie-smile disappears. Looking balefully up at his master, he says in a whiny voice.........."You think this is easy wagging my tail all the time? Oy! It hurts from so much wagging! And you think that designer dog food you're feeding me is good? You try it. It's dreck! Too salty! And what do you care? You just push me out the door to take a squirt twice a day. I can't even remember the last time you took me out for a good walk,"

The neighbor is amazed. "What the hell is that? Your dog is sitting there talking!!"

"Oh, I know", explains the dog owner, "He's young, and I'm still training him. He thought I said KVETCH!

...wonderful

Bark barks in reply.

Get that dog some brisket.

Hi Roberta, Im a good friend of Robin and think this is great and so funny!!! I actually talk like this , come to think of it , alot of others do to. My parents spoke yiddish, I guess that I learned from them. Thanks for the insight. Laura

Hi Laura, Any friend of Robin is a friend of mine. Glad you liked this thread.

I don't talk like this all the time. But every now and then, whammo.

That's a good 'un, Roberta.

Reg, Exercise? Exercise! I can kvetch, shvitz, and plotz while sitting down. Exercise? Feh.

BTW, poifect post for this thread. Thanks, boychik.

Boida- These are worth a giggle!

HEBONICS
Question: "What time is it?"
English answer: "Sorry, I don't know."
Hebonic response: "What am I, a clock?"

Remark: "I hope things turn out okay."
English answer: "Thanks."
Hebonic response: "I should be so lucky!"

Remark: "Hurry up. Dinner's ready."
English answer: "Be right there."
Hebonic response: "Alright already, I'm coming. What's with the 'hurry' business? Is there a fire?"

Remark: "I like the tie you gave me; I wear it all the time."
English answer: "Glad you like it."
Hebonic response: "So what's the matter; you don't like the other ties I gave you?"

Remark: "Sarah and I are engaged."
English answer: "Congratulations!"
Hebonic response: "She could stand to lose a few pounds."

Question: "Would you like to go riding with us?"
English answer: "Just say when."
Hebonic response: "Riding, shmiding! Do I look like a cowboy?"

To the guest of honor at a birthday party:
English answer: "Happy birthday."
Hebonic response: "A year smarter you should become."

Remark: "It's a beautiful day."
English answer: "Sure is."
Hebonic response: "So the sun is out; what else is new?"

Answering a phone call from a son:
English answer: "It's been a while since you called."
Hebonic response: "You didn't wonder if I'm dead already?"

Holy mackerel.

Roberta is Boida. Now I get it. (I'm slow!)

I have been wondering and wondering...and just did not want to ask.

Am I glad that has finally been cleared up.

Thanks, Phoenix.

Phoenix, Thanks for the Hebonics renaissance.

Shheeesh! An you livin' jes down the road, 'n all!