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I am currently seriously pursuing publication of two different kinds of writing -- factual articles and literary nonfiction. I'm finding that the same problem comes up in each.

There are things that occur to me and that make the story better, but then I think of publication and I get way nervous. Just for example, I am working on an article about the sozlet's acquisition of ASL, and in it I contrast her story with that of my friend's daughter, who is the same age. Both girls are hearing and have deaf moms who also speak well. The sozlet was signing from about 6 months, but didn't really speak for a while. At the time, my friend made lots of pointed comments about how I should have her speech evaluated. I didn't mind -- if she was communicating, I was pleased. My friend's daughter was discouraged from signing and encouraged to speak, but had some speech delays, and went into speech therapy.

More and more people were concerned that the sozlet was "just" signing, including the pediatrician, but then at about 22 months she really started in, and now she is VERY advanced for her age. People are regularly shocked at what comes out of her mouth -- "She's only 2 and a half???"

My friend's daughter has fallen far behind, communication-wise. Not only does she still have some speech delays, she doesn't really sign.

So, this is all very pertinent for the article I plan to write, which will emphasize the fact that early signing imparts general language gains for hearing children. (There are studies about this, not just going by the sozlet. Razz

) But do I refer my friend's story? Change identifying details? How would I do THAT? Publish under a pseudonym? Never tell her I published? (Btw I have gotten advance interest and publishing is a real possibility, not just a pipe dream.)

I guess I could try to get her permission to refer to her story ahead of time, but I know that would be rather fraught. Confused

At any rate, I'm curious about both any advice you have for this specific situation, as well as the larger issue of personal/ unflattering details in pieces you would like to publish.

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Unfortunately the younger the child, the less than can be done about protecting the identity of the child--particularly in the Family & Close Friends circles.

Because of the differences in language development you can't even change the little girl into a little boy.

You can publish and gamble that your friend will congratulate you, but never read the article.

You can mention that you are writing about Sozelet and other deaf children and "would like to include some antedotes about her daughter".

Of course, if permission is refused.....

You can fictionalize your friend's daughter: Switch states, change parental backgrounds, invent new physical characteristics....and take the gamble that your friend would not recognize her own child.

Is this child's slow speech development attributed to parental deafness or are there other factors?

Sometimes there are no "right answers".

Hold your dominion.

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Not sure about slow speech development -- I'd guess that it has to do with the fact that it is not a rich spoken language environment, and she was not allowed to sign. A rich sign environment makes it more likely that language, generally, will be developed and then can be generalized to other languages. (I.e. starting in sign, switching to English.) But impossible to know for sure, not very scientific with just the two case studies.

Perhaps I'll just keep things simple for now, and then if I successfully branch out from this (advice I received from a former editor of "Parenting" magazine) I can do a real scholarly article with interviews with experts and actual case studies, nobody I know.

As an example of how else this comes up, though, I'm writing a literary nonfiction essay about losing my hearing in which my parents don't come off too well. The authors I admire are often brutally honest -- "A Heartbreaking Work of Staggering Genius" comes to mind -- and I keep going back and forth between "Write the truth, no matter what that may be" and "Write the truth, then edit out the tricky bits." Shocked

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Do you value the friendship?

Your friend's daughter was forbidden the "real" language in her house. Encouragement for the spoken English was muted....why talk if no one is listening?

My unprofessional guess is that the slow language development is due to a number of factors and not signing is only one of them. In London I was a paraprofessional aide to the entry class Infant School teacher. The class was a peculiar mix of sophisticated foreign students (eight countries) and run down council housing.

You could tell which kids were talked to at home--and which kids were ignored.

As for the other problem....

Personally, I'm of the "damn with faint praise" school of memoir. I tend to believe that many skeletons belong in closets and that dirty linen is a family affair.

I'm reading My Story by Sarah, Duchess of York (Fergie) and a good ghost writer. They manage to make Ferguson pere and mere inept without being loathesome. Remember A Heartbreaking Work.... was rightfully resented by the author's family. He was brutally honest about them.....and comparatively easy on himself.

In any case, hold your dominion.

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Re: "Blurring" your friend's daughter's image. Let her speak Spanish and hint vaguely that your information comes from the speech therapy clinic.

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Hmm...!

I didn't actually know that AHWOSG was resented by Eggers' family, though I'm not surprised.

This is all probably moot -- I don't really have delusions of grandeur (usually...) But if Eggers had pulled his punches, written a book less objectionable to his family, would it have been such an amazing piece of literature? (This is a matter of personal taste, I realize, but I find it to have literarary relevance and beauty beyond the strict recounting of facts therein.)

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I wasn't able to get into "An Extraordinary Work...." I have a deep seated aversion to male ego books, starting with Hemmingway and moving on through World Literature.

Eggers family objected more to his factual dishonesty than his unkind characterizations. He was not the sole caretaker he represented himself as being and many of the incidents he recounts never happened.

Of course, namby-pamby authors have also been known to lie.

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