If you do, Walter, let us know. We'll maybe drag ourselves back down there so we can do double duty enduring another bit of advice from the wise one...........oh, did I remember to tell you, dys........thanks a lot for the directions.
[size=7][Actually, I'd thaught that I might combine this with getting a negative impression about the Pacific Northwest as well ...][/size]
Lola wrote:Unfortunately, I was there..........and am I glad to be gone!
We hated it so much, we stayed three days instead of the planned one. You know how Dys is when he gets going! (Those fascinating stories and elegant hands) It was just awful. And Diane was so much fun, we almost split a gusset getting away. Yuck, I can't stand a good time in good company. Osso drank so much wine at dinner (not), we had to haul her back home and look at all her beautiful paintings. We of course DID NOT get stoned and drink too much sitting around on the back porch with Sally the dog. No siree, we did not! BBB was hospitable and showed us around her beautiful home. We saw several of her paintings that I was tempted to steal..........but BBB has an eagle eye.
Today, we took Dys' advice and headed out from New Mexico, through Arizona and on to Utah, Monument Valley and past Mexican Hat. We missed the lodge Dys told us about and continued on into the wilderness at dusk, looking for the never found lodge place. One could ask why we didn't notice on the map that there were no towns on our route, since we studied the map, but it would be useless to do so. When we came to that road Dys and Diane told us about (the one they were sure we would just love), the very narrow, two way gravel one with switch backs and falling rocks along the side of this huge piece of rock with a flat top, moving ever upward with a clear view of the horrific fall our car would take if we made the wrong move, we inched along at 5 to 10 mph, horrified that we might meet another car coming from the opposite direction in one of those switchbacks. Bernie, the erst while liberal "Democratic" Freudian (if a Canadian can belong to a U.S. political party and make sense of psychoanalytic theory) was driving, covering his eyes from fear. I had to slap him repeatedly to make him behave. And that was no fun at all. Fortunately, the light lasted long enough for us to make it to level ground. Then there were no towns........none, no motels to sleep in, no restaurants to invade. Just darkness. The good news is that we only yelled and told each other to shut up three times today. Finally we drove 32 miles out of our way to Blanding UT to find the desired little motel and restaurant run by two of five Mormon brothers (I would fill you in on the rest of their life history, but I haven't the time.) And that's where we are now, Bernie sleeping in bed and me playing computer games and writing long boring missives to my unpleasant and unruly friends on A2K.
And that's what we get for taking Dyslexia's advice. The scenery was so breath taking, we almost puked.
Oh ****, I am so sorry, I guess I didn't give good directions.
To top things off we have Shewolf coming to vist next week, what a bimbo! she will probably finish off what beer we have left after Bernie.
Bernie left beer???
What kinda stinkin' democrat leaves beer?
PLEASE don't tell us about your adventures with shewolf when she leaves... IF she leaves. Gawd, wouldn't that be awful if she overstayed, too?
I'm feeling for you and Diane, even though I don't like you.
Lola - poor dear lost in the backwoods with a bunch of Mormons. Five brothers and Bernie is sleeping, you say? Yeah, like THAT stop wasn't planned. :wink:
Metric... I arrived with two STDS and left with three.
blatham wrote:Metric... I arrived with two STDS and left with three.
Just listen to the man complain. Bitch bitch bitch.
Squinney,
But my plans didn't work out. Everybody around here seems to go to sleep somewhere around 10:30 or so.
Dys,
I'd like to claim it was your bad directions, but really I think it was the driver and his ungrateful passenger.
ok, it's time for breakfast and we're off again. You notice we aren't over staying our welcome here. We're all rested and ready for more of that disgustingly overwhelming scenery......If I can peel Bernie away from the his John Wayne movie on the TV.
Dyslexia honors the Mormons. He spoke of this often during our visit. Each day at sunset, his naked body smeared with the traditional calves' blood/fresca/ranch dressing god-magnet emollient, we danced.
to be perfectly honest (not that I've ever tried that) Sally dog is pretty much in love with Walter but Bernie had a susprising impact. For those of you readers that follow meself you know that I pretty much live on the patio from 5 a.m. to 10 p.m. daily and bernie followed suit sitting on the patio sofa with sally dog sleeping with her head on Bernie's lap most all of the time. The fact that Bernie usually had a plate of BBQ ribs in his lap was not really of interest to Sally dog.
Bernie is indeed the epitome of effete snobs, one day we all went to brekkies taking 2 cars. The ladys Diane and queen Jane took the Beemer while Bernie and I took the Porsche and Bernie talks ""this ain't got no cup holders!"
In all fairness I have to say I phoned Lash while Bernie/Lola was here and she graciously spoke to both.
I would never speak by phone with anybody.
I just got off the phone with Walter; he called to tell me how much he disliked me. The Bastard!
Actually I tried to fix the download speed (or was it msPING? never mind) of my phone and got that funny man on the other end of the pipe.
He darkened my until now bright day completely.
Other than puking, I hope Lola and Bernie had as much fun on that old switch back road that most tourists do. Bob claimed that it is no longer closed at night, assuring Bernie that there would be no problem--naturally, hoping for a spectaculat headline in the paper about how two tourists from Portland survived a crash, screaming something about that maniac from ABQ who lied through his teeth.
We had such an awful time that we are hoping they return as soon as possible so that we can get more of that awful feeling of friendship and good will.
And now comes shewolf and family. God, are we masochistic or what?
well, at least shewolf has a pair of bazookas that shred bras whereas Lola has pimples on her chest. I may ask Shewolf to show me her party hats.
McTag wrote:Hello everyone, from me.
Hello everyone, from me. Again.
dys doesn't like you, McTag, but I have a wonderful surprise that you will enjoy.
Address To A Haggis by Robert Burns.
Fair fa' your honest, sonsie face,
Great chieftain o' the puddin-race!
Aboon them a' ye tak your place,
Painch, tripe, or thairm:
Weel are ye wordy of a grace
As lang's my arm.
The groaning trencher there ye fill,
Your hurdies like a distant hill,
Your pin wad help to mend a mill
In time o' need,
While thro' your pores the dews distil
Like amber bead.
His knife see rustic Labour dight,
An' cut ye up wi' ready slight,
Trenching your gushing entrails bright
Like onie ditch;
And then, O what a glorious sight,
Warm-reekin, rich!
Then, horn for horn, they strech an' strive:
Deil tak the hindmost! on they drive,
Till a' their weel-swall'd kytes belyve,
Are bent like drums;
Then auld Guidman, maist like to rive,
'Bethankit!' hums.
Is there that owre his French ragout
Or olio that wad staw a sow,
Or fricassee wad mak her spew
Wi' perfect sconner,
Looks down wi' sneering, scornfu' view
On sic a dinner?
Poor devil! see him owre his trash,
As feckless as a wither'd rash,
His spindle shank, a guid whip-lash,
His nieve a nit;
Thro' bluidy flood or field to dash,
O how unfit!
But mark the Rustic, haggis-fed,
The trembling earth resounds his tread.
Clap in his walie nieve a blade,
He'll make it whissle;
An' legs, an' arms, an' heads will sned,
Like taps o' thrissle.
Ye Pow'rs wha mak mankind your care,
And dish them out their bill o 'fare,
Auld Scotland wants nae skinking ware
That jaups in luggies;
But, if ye wish her gratefu' prayer,
Gie her a Haggis!
