Who's booty you kissing?

A non sequitur of incredible credulity.

It still brings tears to my eyes and gives me sleepless nights, I am sure it must for you too

Truthfully it doesn't anymore Chumly. I know that might seem hard to believe, but it doesn't dictate how I feel anymore. It took me a very long time, years actually, to work through as much of it as I could. I know this might sound hard, but maybe this can help. In order to get over these things I had to be willing to face the pain again head on, and walk right back through it. Every time someone hurts us it is like going through a doorway of pain. The more they hurt us the more doors we go through, and the farther away from healthy relationships we are pushed because we begin to look at things from the perspective of the pain we are living in.

I lived in denial of that pain in many ways for many years. There is so much more to this story than I've shared. So much more that I had to go through in order to get to where I am. But the basic of it is that each issue I faced I had to really face, acknowledge that someone had hurt me, and experience that pain all over again to be able to let it go. For me, because there was so much, it was one thing at a time. One person at a time. One hurt at a time. It was grueling. I had hung on to the pain of each instance for years because I believed that if I did I could protect myself from anyone ever hurting me like that again. What I didn't see was that I was isolating myself from the rest of the world.

That in thinking I was punishing them by my actions and acts of self protection I was actually punishing myself. I was the one suffering. It didn't hurt them one bit. It didn't change what they had done one bit. It only personified it in my own mind and eventually brought me to the thinking that everyone was out to "get" me. One thing I have realized with absolute clarity through my current circumstances is that yes we can heal and move on. We can release the pain of the past. Those things don't have to shape our future.

However, the flip side is that once you've been burned you never fully forget what that feels like. Which means that there will be situations in life that will challenge us in these area's. How we respond is our choice. To revert to the old ways of doing things or continue in the new. Each person has to come to terms with things in their own way. The point is being able to come fully to terms with it and learn how to move on. It can be done. It can be hard. But it's worth it in the end. If you ever need an ear to bend I am here and willing to listen.

That is very kind! I may take you up on that if things get out of hand.

Any time Chumly. For real.

For every genuine article, there are a thousand counterfeits.