Member since October 17, 2002


My Profile
  • Answered Questions: 0
  • Posts: 8,816
  • Location: Boston
  • Occupation: Chief Goober Inspector
Born just outside Chicago and raised in the harsh ghettos of cookie-cutter housing developments in suburban Connecticut, I quickly learned of the intransigence of life in this cold, dark world.

Being the off-spring of circus performers had it's benefits yet, I was an outcast amongst the other circus performer children because I was, well... relatively "normal" in appearance. While the others ogled over their 3rd eye or participated in Dwarf tossing games I spent my bitter youth huddled amongst the other uniform clad children from the other side of the tracks in Catholic elementary school dreading that all fearful ruler and the awful sting it left behind on the knuckles.

Eventually, I moved on to reform school and was only too happy to finally be with others of "my kind". Here I honed my skills at pocket picking and forgery, skills that can only be truly appreciated later on in life. Whilst others developed great acumen in the selection of the proper safe to crack or jewelry store to rob, I saw the fallacy in their logic, eschewed them, and opted to take the path less traveled.

I traveled Europe for years, sneaking free rides on the subways of London and Paris, spending my nights sleeping on the best park benches of Rome and Madrid and dining behind the most exclusive eateries of Zurich and Berlin.

In the mid-1980s I was captured by Bulgarian Intelligence agents and whisked off to locations unknown while subjected to a myriad of tests. They later released me to their North Korean counterparts who freed me by bringing me to the Chinese border and forcing me across with nothing but the clothes on my back and a copy of "Catcher in the Rye" for reading material. I wandered lost for years before finally arriving in Rangoon where I made my plans to partake in a scuba diving expedition off of the Mergui Archipelago. While others were studying marine life I stole the extra air tanks from the boat and headed out into the open ocean.

I slowly made my way across the Pacific jumping from island to island living on wild fruits, coconut milk and monkey brain soup. I finally landed on the shores of Peru and made my way to Ecuador where I was able to find a cozy spot in a shipping container being loaded on a ship headed for the US of A. 3 weeks later, after discerning the container had been unloaded, I broke out under the cover of night and escaped the impound lot at the docks before Customs agents could detect my presence.

I hiked for a day following the highways and ended up melting into the local community of Lynn, MA amongst the crack whores and car thieves. I set myself up as a pimp and started earning a good wage for my work (work in this field is big in Lynn!). I was able to rent a decent flat to call home and bought a computer. After having a phone line installed I pried my eyes from the porn channel on cable TV and connected to the Internet only to find myself lost amongst the maze of humanity once again.

Is there a cure for such wanderlust?

(btw, Mom and Dad divorced in 1983 after her elephant died and she discovered he had been cavorting with the midget wrestlers. She has since retired to a nice trailer park in Alabama while he found a lovely place at the end of a bar in upper Manhattan. I also generally don't make to much sense. My doctor says I'll be better soon though!)
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My Recent Posts
Sat 1 Nov, 2008 05:04 pm - What you seek is called a "Faraday Cage". Basically, they imbed wire mesh screen into the walls of the building while it is being built. Then you add filters to the power and signal... (view)
Sun 21 Sep, 2008 02:03 pm - "FXDWG" = Harley Davidson Dyna Wide Glide = motorcycle. ;) (view)
Sun 21 Sep, 2008 02:02 pm - Sounds like a classic starter solenoid problem. The whine you hear is the starter spinning. The solenoid isn't causing it it to shift positions and engage like it is supposed to so it... (view)
Fri 19 Sep, 2008 12:11 pm - I'm not surprised. Whoever came up with those numbers is ignoring the basics of polling. African-Amercians may represent 15% of the total population in IL but what percentage are... (view)
Thu 18 Sep, 2008 08:04 am - A mixed bag I suppose. Improved for some, worse for others. On a grand overall scale I'd say slightly better. (view)
Wed 17 Sep, 2008 04:05 pm - [quote="Cycloptichorn"] You are incorrect when you say that raising the taxes will 'adversely affect employment.' Bull, I say. You have no data to back this up; it is merely... (view)
Wed 17 Sep, 2008 03:17 pm - [quote="ebrown p"] My problem with Bob Barr is that he is an ideological purist. He seems to want the markets to be left to their own devices no matter what. I am a fiscal moderate, I... (view)
Tue 16 Sep, 2008 06:01 pm - [quote="Linkat"] Over the past several days I keep getting a phone message from Ted Kennedy. What's up with that? [/quote] Today is primary day in MA! What? Don't... (view)
Tue 16 Sep, 2008 05:59 pm - [quote="Cycloptichorn"] Yeah, right. Bush was [b]proposing[/b] to allow people to put their money in the types of accounts which would have been damaged. There was a serious discussion... (view)
Tue 16 Sep, 2008 05:14 pm - Since when does presenting a proposal = serious discussion? In case you are unaware the NORMAL process is for someone to make a proposal to gauge interest. The various parties with an interest... (view)
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