I'm in a bit of a unique situation. My wife had a brief emotional and sexual affair with a coworker 15 years ago. The coworker worked in a office thousands of miles away from where we lived, but she met him on a business trip. They didn't have sex on the trip, but she did stay behind in his room after their group left and he got to first base. I believe her when she says they didn't do anything else sexual.
But, when she got home, he hit on her immediately through the old Yahoo IM. The talk got sexual, and they learned he would be coming to her office for a week long visit. Their chat got more sexual and she told him she would make it worth is while if he came out.
She was good to her word and she had sex with him 10 times in 6 days. It was a very rough time. I found out about the affair 6 weeks after his visit by finding two chat logs on her PC. Pretty graphic stuff. I confronted her with it, and over time we repaired our marriage. The first 4 years after DD were actually a pretty good time in our lives.
But two things had recently happened that have taken me right back there. 3 months ago I was on facebook and her affair partner showed up as a suggested friend. It's like I was taken right back there. Started ruminating, and it was to me, like the affair just happened.
Part of my rumination led me to the attic where I found my wifes old work laptop. It actually turned on even though it was very old and I started searching. I'm in IT, so I know a few things. Turns out, the software was configured to save every chat as a log file in a program directory. The two she saved were just in her documents folder.
The logs are pretty shocking. It shows they kept a chat window open all day, and I've read everything they ever said to each other. Pretty brutal stuff. 10 times the amount of information that I got 15 years ago.
Tue 22 Dec, 2015 12:05 pm - See, I was under the mistaken impression this was a support board. I was a member of the Beyond Affairs support group back in 2000 when it happened and the people were very helpful, because they... (view)
Tue 22 Dec, 2015 11:55 am - Actually, you're wrong. I'm a Microsoft Certified Systems Engineer. Have been since 1999. Turning on an old laptop and looking in a directory took me less than 5 minutes.
You have... (view)
Tue 22 Dec, 2015 11:40 am - 15 years ago, my wife was extremely addicted to pain pills and taking 10 Vicodins a day. After DD we did our best to reconcile, but she never did the work she needed to do to repair our marriage.... (view)
Tue 22 Dec, 2015 11:24 am - You might want to ask yourself why you start every post with, "You might want to ask yourself..."
Please don't reply to my posts again. (view)
Tue 22 Dec, 2015 10:37 am - I'm sorry, I came here for support. I thought this was a support board. I needed to talk to people who might have gone through similar things.
I apologize, I misunderstood the reason for... (view)
Tue 22 Dec, 2015 09:59 am - I did it for the reasons anyone would in my situation. I had already told her about being triggered by the FB suggestion. We spoke of the affair at length. We spoke of the two chat logs she... (view)
Tue 22 Dec, 2015 09:56 am - I think you need to reread what I wrote. Never blamed my wife for his name appearing as a suggested friend in my account. She had nothing to do with that. That's just because I befriended... (view)
Tue 22 Dec, 2015 09:25 am - Thanks for your reply. Actually, I told my wife about his profile appearing in Facebook. It was because I had befriended someone who was his friend. He's been blocked from both of our... (view)
Tue 22 Dec, 2015 08:48 am - Two months is too soon to expect it to get better. My wife cheated on me 15 years ago, and it took us over a year to get to where our marriage was actually better than before the affair. Not that... (view)
