The Unconditional

How? Huh? I don't see it. For lack of a better way to describe the fact that it is not something I know, have experienced.

That so much is conditional and fleeting, this is obvious and in our faces every day.

To see conditional crap constantly is torture. It's all so much buzzing that isn't going to matter in the end. Hell, it doesn't ultimately matter in the moment, even at its pinnacle. 'Cause there is always something, and you know it's going to be gone soon enough. It only matters as much as you want it to matter, choose for it to matter. My very life itself has no meaning in itself that I have found. It's whatever is placed on it, given to it, named to it.

Ask a friend what to do about this, and they say "learn to enjoy happiness when you have it. Enjoy the moment. don't worry. '

Yeah, that makes sense so you don't drive yourself nuts and become depressed or ill. It does.

Ok. So you enjoy the moment. Then you're right back to wanting something again, or waiting, or working for something, and then YOU GET THAT THING. Happy again, if you want. For a while.
And again. and again. and again.

So fine. What other options are there?

Buddhism seems to say something. To my understanding, you start with understanding that suffering is craving.

Yes?

Ok. So wanting anything - does that NECESSITATE suffering?

It makes no sense that a human being would ever cease to want. So it seems to me that any attempt to try to halt desire is stupid and works against us.

So there is something I'm missing. Not seeing. Some other option.

I feel trapped in a philosophy of life that is a dead end. Neither a real purpose to living, nor an understanding that can let go of the precious cherishing of what occurs. What is to be had.

Pain is a powerful motivator and I don't know how to let go of that. It's a violent way of being inside, and outside, and leads to a lot of sleeping on and off through waking life.

Pain can't be completely avoided, it's a fact of life. But running and living trying to avoid it very much, that seems to me what they are talking about when they speak of craving.
A craving for pleasure over pain.

To let that go, there has got to be some anchor. This is where I think the unconditional must come in.

Thoughts on my ramblings? Thanks. Much appreciated even if simply for the opportunity to rant out some thoughts.