LittleK,
This is a great topic and I am impressed with the thought you are putting into it. The ideas are great.
One question is how supportive or restrictive is the school administration on these issues. I was teaching (high school) during 9/11 and the administration got fully behind the patriotic "United We Stand" idiocy. Ironically most students got it and the teachers only had to let the education happen (with a little prodding from progressive teachers).
If the school administration is receptive, obviously this can be a big help. On the other hand, great teaching is always a little subversive
One piece of advice (and it sounds like you are already on the right track) is that the lesson you are trying to teach is not a one-shot thing. Plan a "learning thread" (to use the buzzwords I use to hate) and incorporate it into your lesson plans. The idea of presenting Iraqi's as human beings is something that you can do throughout the year. I like the pen pal idea a lot.