My posts lead nowhere, almost

Oh, you would love it, spendius.

Re: Stach


that is the point, to make online friends is not something i am good at,
i really dont' have good experience with online discussions, but from time to time i do learn something interesting or there is some sharing,

the great thing is when i meet someone great in the real life thanks to some kind of cyber space, like ICQ or some websites, links, forums etc and then
it is possible to make friends

online friendship, very very difficult for me , personally

i don't even know how to text a message so it sounds normal

anyway, i guess it is too late for me to try to reestablish some kind of normal image here, i already pissed off too many people and made myself a really weird image

now i have to go to sleep, but i am calm, i had a great weekend and met some fantastic people

i should just cope with the fact that even real people tend to label me opposite things and internet can lead to extremes in this respect

just an example - some years ago i met two americans, a man and a woman, later they met and had a talk about me - the man said that i was such a nervous guy, which she disagreed with and said that i was such a detached person, now who was right? not even real people who met me don't know and cant' figure out what i am like really, how could ppl on a forum really know me? (i will tell you a secret, he really made me nervous, there was something that made me nervous, something i could not figure out about him, while she made me relax completely and i felt totally comfortable in her presence - i later made very good friends with her, never with him, surprise ,surprise! )

but maybe calamity jane is right, read my posts and right there, you have complete picture of my personality including my dreams, goals, ambitions, feelings, past mistakes, future mistakes, failures, weak spots, strenghts and victories

i spent six months with my exwife and still didn't know her character

Lighten up, stach! You did come across as a pervert (I am joking now)
but that doesn't mean, we're opposed to getting to know you.
Maybe you ought to re-read your topics as well and see how utterly arrogant you reacted to criticism. Disagreeing with one's opinion is one thing, how you present it, is another.

The way you scream into the forrest, that's how the echo is returned.

utterly arogant

maybe i did react utterly arogant to criticism - thats' what i am saying all the time here, i am not good at arguing about sensitive issues online

but when i meet some Westerners who act like sophisticated people their reactions are sometimes arogant too, labeling each others and me based on one sentence at times, so how do i know what is adequate in the world of educated Westerners, i hear you guys shoot at each other arogant remarks all the time, not that we "easterners" are better, but the level of confidence of some so called educated ppl from the West is disturbing me, at least

a friend from NYC said about these people " THey have an attitude".

That's why I see very pessimistically that most of us will get along with me talking about sensitive issues. Especially if you are into political correctness, I am not your buddy.

I used to think that once I became a femminist (in the positive sense - simply supporting women's rights to choose stuff in their lives), free of racism and prejudice in general, including lookind down on homosexuals, older women and children) I thought I would be great friends with all Americans... how naive I was.. well I was 25 then. Now I see that even if you accept most values of modern, cilivised Westerners, you will still be put into boxes. So maybe, Calamity Jane, if you ever really get to know me, you will know that I am really not pain in the ass of my students more than any other teachers. As much as I am not a racist, as I have already made close friends with ppl of all colors. ANd loved them. Black, white, yellow, green, purple, apricot, cream, I dont' care as long as they have some heart and feelings and honesty and ability to share.

I think it is easy and natural
to believe our impressions of others. And very easy to misinterpret what others have to say. So the best thing is probably to try to stick to pure facts. Which is something I definitely didn't encourage others to do in their replies.

You should meet our resident Slovak - dagmaraka.
http://www.able2know.com/forums/viewtopic.php?p=2571900#2571900

She'll tell you about the "Westerners"

I am half Slovak, so I am also a mixture of all kinds of ethnicities. Impossible to generalize, of course, Westerners are not all the same, but there are certain trends you come across over and over again. And that is the feature in communication where i am not sure if it is still just confident or already arrogant.

Would anyone like to define "arrogance"? I am not trying to defence myself anymore. Just curious what is the moment you consider someone arrogant. What attitude or statements - like typical - are arrogant for you - and what is the adequate expression of some firm expression of values without being arrogant. I think the line between confident and arrogant is very thin.

Are you going to follow you own "guidelines" here? You don't want to be judged so people should come and evaluate you before they comment? You are judging them based on their comments so when will you be visiting each of them to evaluate them before suggesting that they not post?



So you don't come here for moral advice. And you don't come here for legal advice. And you don't frame your questions as such that you are asking for professional (i.e. teaching) advice.... It seems as though you don't want any advice at all.

So... let me ask you this, why are you asking people what they think then? For that matter, why are you here? (I'm not saying you should leave. It is a serious question. What do you see as you purpose for coming here?)

judging others,

i said that ppl should not judge me in terms of some definite conclusions,
for example if i should or should not teach or visit a psychiatrist etc
and I hope I havent judged anyone here in this way - for example i really don't know what kind of teacher or person anyone here is, so i encourage myself and others stick to specific and practical issues

i don't come here for moral or legal advice, that is true, but there is a difference between; "I think G.W. Bush is an idiot." and " Stop listening to G.W.Bush."

I really got some practical advice but it was like 20 % practical and useful and 80% opinionated and personal and that is what upset me.

I guess what i can't accept are imperatives and acting as if somebody was a higher rank of human than I am. I guess most people understand the difference between acting superior and discussing something in a positive, open way and being neutral, and constructive. I myself am not very good at this, either, I get upset when I don't understand the reasons why others are rude to me. Or when they say "disturbing' but dont explain what specifically is disturbing to them.

But yes, I prolly acted arrogant as reaction to something i considered arrogant. It is like two ppl in the street calling each other names.

THere is this great thing called ASSERTIVITY, i guess it might be somehow popular in English speaking countries. It is about the art of acting and discussing and defending in a way that is neither passive, nor aggressive. It is something I would really like to master.

Stach
Stach, I've never read any of your posts except for this thread. What you've posted here leads me to think you are too self-absorbed. Perhaps if you didn't concentrate on yourself and more on others, people would feel friendly toward you. You are not the center of the world to other people. To establish relationships, it requires not talking at people instead of talking with people.

Give it a try.

BBB

i will never succeed at this on the internet

when i go to a bar, hang out with a couple of people, i am the silent guy in the corner, i hardly talk at all, and wait until someone looks or sounds like a soul mate to me, then i prefer to be alone with that person to establish a relationship or friendship

but here on the internet, no , i really hardly ever make friends, and don't expect to, but i also hope the communication could be better on both sides