How do we prove humans are more real than cabbage or fish?

I always thought it was weird when they taught us about imaginary numbers in high school math class....I mean, they're imaginary.

I don't remember learning about any other imaginary things in high school.

Does anyone remember what they are?

You must not have gone to a parochial school.

Ask a cabbage this same question, and compare your answers.

Maybe you could do some sort of variant on this proof:


The following is an actual question given on a McGill University chemistry mid-term Exam paper:
Is Hell exothermic (gives off heat) or endothermic (absorbs heat)? Support your answer with a proof


Most of the students wrote proofs of their beliefs using Boyles Law (gas cools off when it expands and heats up when it is compressed) or some variant.
One student, however, wrote the following:

First, we need to know how the mass of Hell is changing in time. So, we need to know the rate that souls are moving into Hell and the rate they are leaving. I think that we can safely assume that once a soul gets to Hell, it will not leave. Therefore, no souls are leaving. As for how many souls are entering Hell, let's look at the different religions that exist in the world today. Some of these religions state that if you are not a member of their religion, you will go to Hell. Since there are more than one of these religions and since people do not belong to more than one religion, we can project that most people and their souls go to Hell. With birth and death rates as they are, we can expect the number of souls in Hell to increase exponentially.
Now, we look at the rate of change of the volume in Hell because Boyles Law states that in order for the temperature and pressure in Hell to stay the same, the volume of Hell has to expand as souls are added.

This gives two possibilities.

If Hell is expanding at a slower rate than the rate at which souls enter Hell, then the temperature and pressure in Hell will increase until all Hell breaks loose.
Of course, if Hell is expanding at a rate faster than the increase of souls in Hell, then the temperature and pressure will drop until Hell freezes over.


So which is it?
If we accept the postulate given to me by Ms. Celine LeBlanc during my Freshman year - that "it will be a cold night in Hell before I sleep with you" - and take into account the fact that I still have not succeeded in having sexual relations with her, then (2) cannot be true, and thus I am sure that Hell is exothermic.



The student got the only A!

Re: How do we prove humans are more real than cabbage or fis

The question itself creates a presumption.

No matter which answer you choose (as real or not as real), you must first assume that real-ness is measurable, from object to object, and therefore it already does vary. For a fish to be LESS real than a human, it's real-ness is different. For a fish to be EXACTLY AS real as a human, you must have a measuring scale (of some kind) that measures both of those objects to the same mark. Since there are other marks on our measuring scale, there ARE other possibilities available for other objects.

Either way, some scale of "reality" is presumed by the question, so the question itself creates the actual outcome that it's trying to prove. Like saying "Given that there ARE differences between things, are there differences between things?". Or saying "Given that 1=5, does 1=5?" The answer will always be "Duh, well of course". First assume what you're trying to prove and then prove it.

The existence of our measuring scale proves that the real-ness can be measured by SOME criteria. Even if the notion is very sloppy, inconsistent or ill-defined, some notion of "real-ness" can be constructed and applied to cabbages, fish, and humans. If nothing else, create some wacky idea like "only red things are real." The amount of red in each objects varies, therefore every object has different amount of "real-ness" and humans have more of it than cabbages and fish. That particular definition of "real-ness" works very well, in that it's repeatable, measurable, and consistent. You can use scientific method to duplicate the results, produce new hypotheses, prove or disprove them with experimental procedures. The definition actually works.

No matter what definition you choose to impose onto the world around you, the concept of "real-ness" is quite arbitrary. Since you are in charge of the definitions, you can produce any outcome you want. And as much entertainment as you want.

Re: How do we prove humans are more real than cabbage or fis

Another different way to prove it:

1) Every object in the universe is different.
2) In every possible quality you can think of (color, temperature, size, shape, velocity, etc) no two objects are exactly the same.
3) So, no matter how you define "real-ness", no matter what qualities you base that on, those qualities are gaurenteed to differ.
4) Therefore, every object in the universe has a different amount of real-ness.
5) Money is real. And time is money. So, over time, which objects are worth more money? What do we care most about? Not a cabbage or fish, but a human!

I agree with boomerang: I don't think anything can be "more" real than anything else.

Quote or somebody whose name I have forgotten:
I think, therefore I exist.

This bloke is saying that the only thing that we can ever KNOW for certain is that we exist.