THE BRITISH THREAD II

How is london coping up now that Olympics have sort of kicked off?

Like a tale told by an idiot, full of sound and fury, and signifying nothing.

Are you saying they'll be as memorable as Macbeths soliloquy?

It is a well known principle in politics to drop your successor in the **** so that his administration makes yours look like an oasis of calm and sweet reasonableness.

Hence Blair's determination to bribe the Olympic Committee, with our money, to stage these ridiculous games in our midst.

Even the synchronised swimming is ruined by this committee's puritanical petulance. I am convinced from my observations of the antics of human beings that the ladies involved in this most stylish of sports would be more that willing to disport themselves in the manner nature intended.

The veil has not been abolished at all. It has simply become more silly. Even the atheists and scientific materialists are silent on such important matters. Perhaps the courage of their convictions is but skin deep.

I could have added, that the cab drivers are very unhappy. No change there, then.
They are threatening to mutiny and block the Olympic Lanes, because the Games has commandeered traffic lanes for its exclusive use, narrowing London's already narrow streets even further.
Boris's suggested solution? Londoners should not seek to drive their vehicles in the capital for the duration of the Games.
The cabbies cannot move, and are thwarted in their usual employ of ripping their passengers off.
The buses carrying competitors cannot find their destination because the Olympic Village is not on the Satnav system yet, and the bus drivers are from Liverpool and Middlesborough.
The security system, contracted out to a private company, has collapsed and some puzzled squaddies have been drafted in to frisk people.
The terrorists, and we've many of those in SE England, are keeping their heads down because as far as soft targets go, they're spoilt for choice.
The Met are probably regretting right now the fact that Mr Blair took Her Majesty's forces into Iraq.
Anti-aircraft missile batteries are in place, on top of people's houses.

Apart from that, all good. We'll probably put on a great games.

I saw Ken being interviewed yesterday. He said that all the security problems stem from the decision to give the remit to the Home Office and not the Met. I think he's bang on.

It's just another gravy train at the expense of the provinces. When does the underwater archery start? Or the .22 rifle shooting standing on one leg wearing a staight-jacket.

You're just pissed off because you didn't get that G4S job.

WHAT!!!!???? Two bloody weeks at £300 and a load of little Hitlers ordering you about and living in a cheap, sodding bed-and-breakfast in a dump like that. I'm surprised 50 turned up.

Having to be trained to look in handbags and feel around blokes bodies while the Tour de France is on.

I don't know how I have managed to give you the impression izzy that I'm pissed off about that but my first suspicion falls upon your comprehension aptitude.

I thought you were to be one of the 'little Hitlers.'

It is part of the natural law too, that female competitors in the beach volleyball have to be lissom, good-looking, and wear bikinis. What numpty suggested that they should wear more clothing? And after they had sold all the tickets, too.

You don't seriously think the ******* trains would run on time if I was in charge do you? I would treble the number of bank holidays, extend the weekend, halve the price of beer, introduce softness minimums for beds and fatten up the women with free sticky toffee puddings. And I would deport anybody who can run fast, jump a great distance or rate bust in any other way.

You really are a Silly izzy aren't you?

If that's what you said in your interview, you might still be in with a chance.

The first thing I would do on getting elected is resign.

I have better things to do than organise you silly fuckers into an efficient fighting force and productivity paragons.

You sound like you're getting ready to appear in front of a select committee.

I see that the security contractor waited until the 11th hour to publicize the fact that hes blown his contractual metrics. I can see the business sense of this (Its difficult to terminate a contractor so lte in the game). So should we all bring our own flak jackets nd bomb sniffing equipment?

I propose a supplementary security contract between the Olympics and USA's own "home grown", Hells Angels of Anaheim.
If anybody tries ******* with anyone under their charge, they deal with the perps in a most efficient manner.

The security contractor was torn apart by the usually genteel select committee. It's very hard to feel sorry for anyone who made their fortune by paying a pittance to their staff. Ken Livingstone was right when he said responsibility for security should have been given to the Met, and not the Home Office.

the guy dosnt say too much but talks a lot.

Its always the fact that the COVERUP is far more consequential than is the original **** up(or crime).

We don't want our jails full of Hells Angels. You keep your ******* vigilantes to yourselves and the best of luck.