@smorgs,
Quote: I am not a member of face-comic/****-book, nor would I ever be.
Why?
Btw ('cos this is my week off) I went to see the film about that today-
The Social Network, about which the critics have been very complimentary.
I liked it.
@smorgs,
How come Eunice got a warning for being off sick when her manager was holding the bucket for her to be sick into?
@smorgs,
Bacon and Tomato ? Bouncy Tits ? Brian Tucker ? Best Tortilla ? British Transport ? Am I getting close ?
Quote:she had food poisoning from a confit of duck - I kid you not, it were proper bad - I had to hold the bucket
Holding a bucket doesnt sound like an interesting demanding job....
Quote: My cat's been neutered.
Your cat holds no political views whatsoever ? I find that hard to believe.
It is a good cold if you took a day off work.
Quote:Took a phone call from a customer who said I had a 'distinctive, sensual voice' that was 'turning him on'. Explained that I had a cold and that he was creeping me out and if he didn't have any further queries about his benefit I was ending the phone call.
I think you have a distinctive sensual typing that is turning me on.
Quote:I've changed the cat's name from Mitzi Gaynor to Clawdia.
Are you trying to re-arrouse your cats political views ?
@Ionus,
Quote:It is a good cold if you took a day off work.
It's a ******* ace cold, a beaut, if it got her out of the hell-hole of a Jobcentre for a whole day.
An odd thing happened to me this week, quite a surprise.
A young lad from the next street sometimes comes round and asks to wash the car. I'm quite happy to help, it doesn't happen very often, rewarding enterprise and supporting the community and all that. £5 a shot.
Anyway, he came round on Wednesday rather late, and he asked could he wash the car then, or next day. And could I do him a favour, could I pay then, did I trust him, and all that. I told him I had no reason not to trust him, only it was a bit irregular, and cutting a longish story short I gave him a £20 note on the understanding he brought me back the £15 change, which was agreed.
But he didn't show up today, and after dark tonight I went round and got the change from his father.
And the car's still not been washed.
But his dad was frank with me, he said there was a big problem, the boy was on his last warning from the Police for theft, and had stolen items from his parents including his mother's camera.
I had no inkling of this- the lad is personable, confident, and a good worker. I felt really bad...I should have told him if he needed a sub, he should see his parents (but he's done work for me before, with no problems, and he's about 15 yrs old)
I didn't like 'dobbing him in' to his dad, but apparently he's often at his aunt's house, and he wasn't at home when I called. I had to explain the reason for my visit.
Shame I didn't have the right change on the night. But was I wrong? His dad was fine about it with me, but evidently is worried sick. He doesn't think drugs are involved.
@McTag,
A pretty cheap lesson I would have said Mac.
@McTag,
Your story made me reflect on how much life is wasted since we moved out of tribes and into boxes. We hear about how many lives are saved in modern society with infant mortality rate down, but we dont hear about the lack of crime in tribal groups. Or the extreme punishments handed out for violence within the tribal group.
Will the lad end up in gaol ? It always seems a shame to waste a life.
@Ionus,
The lad's not shown up here yet. I wonder what we'll have to say when we meet?
Hey I was a a beer festival yesterday....it was dead good, I enjoyed it more than I thought I would.
About 300 beers on offer, it was run by the independent brewers' association SIBA. (not a CAMRA do)
It's still on today, in the Palace Hotel in Manchester, and today they're'll be music too.
That hotel too, the old Refuge building, magnificent interiors.
http://www.camra.org.uk/page.aspx?o=324505
@McTag,
Quote:About 300 beers on offer
300?? That is some serious drinking...where are the bloody Spartans when you need them ?
@Ionus,
I imagine that the beer is free and thus not liable to tax. It might cost those dispensing it about 4p a pint, with a decent tax allowable weekend for the brewery staffs, a chance to meet the presentation girls, charge a £5 entrance fee and for the food and other sundries.
The beer'll probably be flat with no foaming top like with John Smith's Extra Smooth (Silk in a Glass) served up by a pretty barmaid, who can give as good as she gets, at £2.50 and without which these 300 brands would be at a loss as to what to make an invidious comparison with.
What a cloud-cuckoo land you inhabit, Spendy.
The beer had a head, and was in uniformly excellent condition, as you would expect. The entrance fee was indeed a fiver, and that bought you nothing but access. You could also buy bratwurst or pies & mushy peas & red cabbage. The beer cost about £1.20 for a half, and up to about £1.60 depending on strength.
Marvellous.
The list of brewers and brews I will bring you later, because duty calls, but it reads like a poem. You'll see.
I like these names, so I thought I would reproduce them here. A little like the names of the types of whiskies fondly listed by Compton McKenzie in Whisky Galore.
The name of the brewery is in capitals. The beers were judged (and prizes awarded) in the categories Bitter & Pale Ale, Best Bitter, Premium Bitter, Strong Bitter, Strong Ale, Porter, Strong Mild, Old Ale & Stout, and Speciality Beers.
ABBEYDALE: Deception, Absolution, Black Mass
ACORN: Barnsley Bitter, Blonde, Barnsley Gold, Old Moor Porter, Gorlovka Stout.
ALL GATES: All Black, California, One Hop-Citra, Double Chocolate Stout, Hung Drawn and Portered, Shimla IPA, Mad Monk
ALLENDALE: Wagtail Ale, Golden Plover, Black Grouse, Swift, Entrepreneur Ale, Winter Dunkel, Wolf
ANGLO DUTCH: Jasper's Ale, Tabatha the Knackered
BANK TOP: Dark Mild, Flat Cap, Pavilion Pale Ale, Bank Top Blonde, Port o' Call, Leprechaun Stout
BARNGATES: Cat Nap, Cracker Ale, Pride of Westmorland, Westmorland Gold, Tag Lag, Red Bull Terrier, Chester's Strong & Ugly
BEARTOWN: Peach Melbear, Polar Eclipse, Black Bear
BLACK SHEEP: Black Sheep Best Bitter, Golden Sheep, Riggwelter
BLACKBECK: Blackbeck Belle, Trial Run
BOB'S: Yakima Pale Ale, Chardonnayle
BOLLINGTON: Bollington Nights, Chilli Nights, Long Hop, Bollington Best, Oat Mill Stout
BOWLAND: Hunters Moon, Bowland Gold, Hen Harrier, Bowland Dragon, Admiral, Cromwell Stout
BRADFIELD: Farmers Blonde, Farmers Brown Cow, Farmers Stout, Farmers Pale Ale
CAMBRINUS CRAFT: Springbok
COACH HOUSE: Gunpowder Mild, Dick Turpin Premium Bitter, Blueberry Classic Bitter, Post Horn Premium Ale
CONISTON: Bluebird Bitter, Bluebird XB, Special Oatmeal Stout.
CUMBRIAN LEGENDARY ALES: Langdale, Loweswater Gold
DALESIDE: Daleside Blonde, Old Legover, Bobek Export, Monkey Wrench
DARWIN: Evolution
DENT: Dent Stetion Porter, Dent Premium Bitter
ELLAND: Bargee, Elland Best Bitter, Beyond the Pale, Eden, Nettlethrasher, 1872 Porter
EMPIRE: Empire Mild, Golden Warrior, Valour, Pandemonium, Gunpowder Porter
FERNANDES: Malt Shovel Mild
FRODSHAM: Mynzamild, Splash, Iron Man
GELTSDALE: Cold Fell
GEORGE WRIGHT: Drunken Duck, Blonde Moment, Cheeky Pheasant
GREAT HECK: Dave, Heck's Angel, Yorkshire Pale Ale, Vanolla Porter, Staggering Genius, Treason Stout, Stormin' Norman
Duty calls, more later, probably
@McTag,
Quote:What a cloud-cuckoo land you inhabit, Spendy.
I think, Mac, that it is advisable for you not to press that point too far.
But I'm glad you enjoyed it.
Never mind all this talk of beer...
I've just dropped the kitchen clock in the washing up bowl! It's drying out on the radiator. My circadian rhythm is buggered. Just been changing all the bloody clocks, decided the kitchen one (glass) needed cleaning and hey presto!
Damn those Scots!
McT, you owe me a time-keeping instrument, but preferably a kitchen 'centric' one, you know, with ceramic cup-cakes and **** like that, I like **** like that - my spongy thing holder is a ceramic black & white cat and I have a little plastic chef holding a mini-whisk for eggs.
Must go - making big tea.
x
@smorgs,
Okay, I'll buy you a clock if you give us back Berwick-on-Tweed.
We're going to Moss Side now for afternoon tea. But first, I'm stopping at Tesco Express for a packet of Eccles Cakes.
@McTag,
We've got the picture Mac. Pumped misogyny.
Why no alcohol content? Most of the price of beer, and all the effect, which is directly linked to the price, is due to the alcohol; the real magical ingredient which is carefully and systematically supervised by H.M. Customs and Excise officers.
@spendius,
I've got all the ABV numbers but typing that for each was potentially less poetic, I thought.
@McTag,
It is where all the poetry resides. Words are psychological categories.
Bloody Tesco Express had no Eccles Cakes.
@McTag,
GREAT NEWSOME: Sleck Dust 3.8, Ploughman's Pride 4.2, Pricky Back Otchan 4.2, Frothingham Best 4.3, Jem's Stout 4.3
GREEN MILL: Zenith 4.5, Big Chief Bitter 5.5
GREENFIELD: Dobcross Bitter 4.2, Bill o' Jack's Special 5.0
HADRIAN & BORDER: Tyneside Blonde 3.9, Farne Island 4.0, Secret Kingdom 4.3, Centurion 4.5
HAMBLEDON: Hambledon Bitter 3.8, Stallion 4.2, Nightmare 5.0
HAWKSHEAD: Windermere Pale 3.5, Hawkshead Botter 3.7, Red 4.2, Lakeland Gold 4.4, Damson and Vanilla Stout 4.5, Brodie's Prime 4.9
HEXHAMSHIRE: Shire Bitter 3.8, Blackhall English Stout 4.0, Devil's Water 4.1, Whapweasel 4.8, Old Humbug 5.5
HOPSTAR: Green Bullet 3.8, Dark Night 4.0, Smokey Joe's Black Beer 4.0
HORNBEAM: Lemon Blossom 3.7, Hornbeam Bitter 3.8, Top Hop Best Bitter 4.2, Dark Domination 6.0
ILKLEY: Mary Jane 3.5, Ilkley Black 3.7, Ilkley Best 4.0, Ilkley Pale 4.2, Lotus IPA 5.6
Some of these I haven't tried. Next, Jarrow.
