THE BRITISH THREAD II

They are too Mac. Very beautiful.

My first business venture was "cheggies". I lived in the countryside and went to school in a city. I used to bring bagsful to school at this time of year and sell them at ten a penny. Specially selected.

There was a line of young chestnut trees along one side of the lake. They were only about 20 ft in height. I would wait till they were ready to fall and then climb up and shake them down. A lot of them fell open when they hit the ground. They were not much good for cheggie fights if they were taken too early. I suppose you know that they are white until just before they are ready.

You could get a raspberry jam crust at the railway snack bar for a penny. The customers wouldn't eat crusts.

I bloody hated school apart from the sport.

BT ?= Big Toffs ? Best Tango ? Big Tits ? Brassy Twats ? Business Today ? Give me a clue before I have to buy a vowel....

When I did the harbour tour there they took us past a junk called the Fuk Yu.

Barmy Tosspots. I know a BT exec. and he's certainly falls into that category. After he was skinned in a divorce he was picked like a white butterfly on a black tree.

That's how Andrew Carnegie got started.

Thinking of Smorgs after last night's news, in the Burroo (Glasgow word) and thinking that if things were bad before, trying to place unemployed people, they're going to get a good deal worse now.
No benefits for people who won't or can't work.
No jobs to offer them.
Revolution in the air?
I think at least, Smorgie, you'll have to beef up on the security.

I would take some persuading Mac that Jobcentres shouldn't be a prime target in the cuts. I cannot see what real purpose they serve in the economy.

smorgsie has already admitted to tarting a bloke up so that his prospective employer would get a false impression of his character at the interview. And that she hates her own job.

Everybody tarts themselves up for job interviews. Who would show their true character in a job interview? It's all about false impressions, just who can give the best.

PEPi WANTS A JOB iNTERViEW SOMETiME SOON

McDonalds are always hiring.

WITH MY REPUTATION ?

CEO

Not heard about your rep. I'm sure Smorgs will sort you out with a glowing reference. he he he

...oh and Rooney can take his freckled potato-head elsewhere.....he's not welcome at City. Not by me anyway.

That applies to the ladies' beautification industry, which is a significant slice of the GDP. Are you saying that when ladies tart themselves up, which I know enough to know a lot do, they are giving prospective clients a false impression and are hiding their true character. No wonder they make them see through two peepholes in a blanket in some places.

I think one can safely say that any job where one's appearance is a factor in the interview is only worth doing for the money. It does suggest that nearly anybody can do the job on offer. Where more expertise is required employers are not interested in the presentation of the candidate. Ask the manager of a large plant-hire firm: excepting the position of Personal Assistant. Natch.

I'm profoundly shocked DP. Are you telling us that taut calf muscles and pert bottoms are an illusion which is dispelled as soon as ladies take their high heel shoes off.

Yeah the 'pointing to things you like' method is better than the method I tried today which was 'screw it, let's be adventurous and choose something of the chinese menu at random'. I got boiled beef intestine and lettuce, and I had to eat half of it too so as not to look like a silly westerner.

You could not have found a respectable method of demonstrating that you are a silly westerner than the one you chose there. It was so, so Pindarish and hence extremely silly to begin with. It's a fairly good demonstration that you are a silly westerner is just being in the place when the prime of English manhood is yearning for your Pindarish charms. But there it is. They'll have to put up with it. You've taken yourself off. Useless!!

What with both demonstrations reinforcing each other you must have looked like a particularly silly westerner to a bloke who is taking a risk every night to watch our TV programmes and not missing the Wayne Rooney saga or how the "cuts" are going to cause some little old lady to have to turn her gas fire down when it's minus 10 and the easterlies are taking the flaking paint off the "NO BALL GAMES" sign.

Fancy doing a thing like that. You could have got Dog Tongue Pate on Camel Dung Pizza. Boiled beef intestine and lettuce is not too bad. (I wonder what they do with beef intestine here. Our's are 30 odd feet long I read. Goodness knows what length beef intestine is. And it will be good protein I'm sure. All paid for in the rearing. Waste not want not. Evolution. One firm got caught putting cow's bottoms in meat pies. Ground up of course.

You dared yourself didn't you? Dipping your toe in the "realm of the possible" wasn't enough and you put your foot in it.

Why are you not dining at the Embassy? Or Legation?

Suppose they had put something in it and you felt faint and they carried you into the back, trussed you up and sold you to some chieftan on the Mongolian plains. Don't bother trying to exhaust the realm of the possible. Is that what your dare really means?

That your Mum doesn't tell you that such ideas flash through her mind doesn't mean they don't.

Stick to the well worn grooves. They are not well worn for no reason.

It's as bad as a bloke holding his hand over a candle flame to impress his peers with his daring.

I'm pretty sure the old flutterbug said to please be a bit more careful out there...

If not, I am.

I'd have returned it as having been prepared wrong , and eaten a salad to show them my distaste...

So Rooney saw the light and signed his deal.

It's amazing the effect of 20 or so hooded Manc thugs outside the home where your wife and child think they are safe, can have.

I think his Mrs put her foot down.

Mac--our landlord has a new pump. Old Rosie's Cloudy Scrumpy. Have you tried it? I don't like to do until an expert has given it the green light.

'Fraid not, I'm not much of a cider man myself, but I was in a good old pub in Parbold (Bispham Green, the Eagle and Child) last wekend where they sell red cider and folks do speak very highly of that.

I think cloudy scrumpy will definitely have a beneficial effect on one's bowels.