THE BRITISH THREAD II

You really believe that? That sound a bit to me like the statement of the record company exec when Brian Epstein was trying to get his new band a recording contract. "Guitar groups are on the way out."

Yes--I do think that. Human nature doesn't change. Only the circumstances in which a writer places them change.



Alexander Pope. Essay on Man.

Even unreal circumstances such as in Star Trek produce the same human reactions. Spock is not human. And Henry Fielding expressed pretty violent contempt for any unreal circumstances conjured up by writers. He thought such things a cheap evasion of a writer's duties to the readers.

I would argue that Mr Epstein's comment could easily be used to support my contention. If he misjudged the deeper forces at work it was still those he was contemplating.

Amd maybe he didn't misjudge those forces. The guitar group was replaced by the star front man using other musicians as employees. Dylan never had a fixed band. Neither did Presley. Look at the fame trajectories of Cliff Richard and The Shadows.

Disagree.

Smorgs must be right fed up, maybe overstressed due to the ongoing shitstorm at work. What can we do to soothe her troubled mind?

We could tell her we are missing her and beg her to grace us with the privilege of her delectable and fragrant presence.

Do you think that will work Mac?

You rang?

x

Hello Smorgsie
Did anyone see that TV documentary about the women who delivered aircraft for the RAF in WWII?
It was tremendous. What lovely old birds, what great stories. Salt of the earth, backbone of the nation. I felt quite emotional.

I had banana on toast for brekkers, then some muesli and mixed cereal.

Now I must shave and prepare myself to face the day.

Lines like that never worked for me. Is it my accent, or what?

It might be that your heart wasn't in it and your eyes didn't engage longingly with the mysterious orbs you were pleading with.

Sorry chaps - it's that time of the month again, I'm working on my stats for the big cheese in tomorrow. I'm not very good at them, they take me ages, have to go through all the spreadsheets: number of vacancies received, broken down into part-time, full-time, temp etc. How many were agencies, how many filled by our customers. I'm so not a natural with figures! Why can't I get a job as a tv critic, mystery shopper or cream cake taster?

I hate my job.

6 off sick today.

x

No wonder there's a financial crisis. Pay as normal I presume. I don't get paid when I take a break for a brew.

The public sector is out of control. Has been for a long time. And yet when public employees go to the shops they expect that the goods they are buying to have been made by slaves. Then they threaten to strike if anybody tries to call them to order.

An execrable accent needn't be a disqualifier these days.

Take Spendy, for example. Or Smorgs.

A friend of a friend of mine got a job as a pie-eater at Holland's Meat Pies. Something to do with quality control.

But it was unpaid I think, and for a limited period only.

Still.

SPENDACIOUS! Shame on you! "public sector is out of control"!

How trite, what a non-statement, I always avoid arguments with you - I do not have the vocabulary and get too emotional - but really, spends...

Civil Servant bashing is common place, have a go at Government workers, it's too easy, I'm surprised at you!

People take the piss with sick-leave in most organisations, ours is no different. Most people I work with work exceptionally hard and are committed to helping people at difficult times in their lives. I work really hard for my 21 grand a year. Don't have a poor sick record and I don't claim further expenses for mileage and subsistence, which I could, in fact my boss regularly asks me if I've put in for my expenses, I feel it would be immoral to claim further monies from the public purse when people are surviving on 64 quid a week. And I'm not exceptional, I work with a Visiting Officer who never claims hers either - we are both active union members and we are both the same age, so we 'grew up' different to the younger staff. Most of the people who I work with have no experience of the other side of the counter - but I have, and I know what it's like to be REALLY poor.

So bash away - we are an easy target, takes no effort or thought.

We took 102 claims to JSA last week, in our small, middle class office. With 8 staff less than when we took 50 per week (on a busy week), funds that I could access for the little extras, like interview clothes for long -termers have dried up, people are coming in (understandably) angry at being on the phone for hours, trying to get through to one of the congested call centres around the country to actually make a claim, staff are abused regularly. I've been spat at, shouted at, swore at (many times), and believe me, I'm one of the good guys. And still the edicts come from the Lib/Con fucked up shambles of a government: 'more savings, more benefit stopped, more fraud referrals, turn the lights off, cheaper paper, don't order stationery, hit them hard, take them off the sick'. Civil Servants are an easy target, but so are the poor and disadvantaged. AND YOU KNOW WHAT PISSES ME OFF THE MOST? Little things like how hard it is for the poorer and less able people in our society to actually get a bank account, and yet it's very difficult to get employment without one, and you will always pay more for goods and services, that's ****, it really is...

Anyway, rant over, consider yourself clouted, spends.

So what's occurin' with you guys?

Had a lamb chop for my tea.

x

AND WHAT'S WRONG WITH MY ACCENT, MCT?

Consider YOUR Scottish self clouted too.

x

But smorgsie Babe. If we pay the poor enough for life to be enjoyable for them more people would settle for being poor. If the poor don't suffer a little the rest of us might not be too keen to work. It is the plight of the poor that keeps our noses to the grindstone.

And I knew a chap who never worked and never looked for work, a Scotsman he was, and who laughed at the idea of him doing either, who was blissfully happy.

The area he lived in, a seaside resort, had thousands like him and the government payments were the mainstay of the local economy. The council actually advertised in big cities to attract such people.

I don't think public sector workers are an easy target. They are well dug in.

32 grand eh? Would you like your rear garden decked out in a manner suitable for comfortable sun bathing?

I thought tea consisted of foriegn bush leaves and hot water.

Mornin' chaps!

Off to work to do nowt all day. For 21 grand (not 32). On second thought, I might phone in sick.

Spends, babe - I'll deal with you later.

Ionus, some of us Northern folk say tea for dinner. We're queer up North.

x

I overslept, and now I've got a bad back. I wonder if there could be a link.

Anyway, does anyone need any advice this morning?

Smorgs, I was only joking about your mellifluous tones, you know that. Shame though, thst we hear less of Alastair Darling and Gordon Brown on the airwaves these days. Men you could listen to all day.

I assume no-one saw the "Spitfire Girls" TV programme then. It really was splendid. Worth seeking out on repeat.

Spitfire girls should not be approached by members of the public.

Bad backs are caused by lifting or straining. Especially once the age of 25 has gone by. The best way to cure them is complete rest. Other remedies can make them worse.

They say that bed rest is bad for bad backs nowadays, gentle exercise and keeping moving is best. But I don't suffer with back problems (thank God).

I've had a really, really bad day. Been on crisis loans all day, covering for someone on paternity leave.

I'm knackered and stressed out - can I have a virtual shoulder rub please?

x