THE BRITISH THREAD II

It does here. It is no defence to not know that something you are doing is illegal. And Media, especially TV, is the only reasonable place to find out. You could have eaten some Irish bacon without TV.

Yes you've mellowed a lot Spendy. I dont think women are quite the danger you make out. Its far more sinister than that. The male sex is under a great deal of stress. Our only real advantage over womankind...strength...has been negated by the use of machines. Biologically woman is far superior. Men are increasingly redundant as a sex...even as a sex object...I wont go into details. Perhaps the imbalance has something to do with the ratio of spermatozoa to human egg production. Then there are all these chemicals in the environment which mimic female hormones. Fish have no balls these days have you noticed? And law. We gave them equality and all they did was prove their superiority. Still all is not lost. There are some women who...

Top marks for that effort, Spendy.
I was beginning to think this thread, born of Smorgs, needed the nourishment of Smorgs' teat but it appears I may have been wrong.

Am in Germany today where I saw the world's biggest Xmas tree, in Dortmund. Gurt big thing it were.

Calculate the imbalance. Let's see--200 million tadpoles per shot. Two shots a day from about 14 to about 25 and then one and then tailing off. And one fertilisable egg every two years if there's breast feeding. And human life depending on it. Ten a penny doesn't do us justice. Women are obviously special. Men are expendable.

Have you seen that cave painting, circa 25,000 years BC, showing a bunch of guys trying to spear a reindeer with pointed sticks and all sporting an erection. Like as if getting the meat was foreplay. And a quick study of the Venus of Willendorf is useful in this regard. It's in Vienna Mac.

There's a few like that in the pub.

Jacqui Smith eh? Have you heard the latest?

Nah mate, I'm out of the country, getting an erection. Whats up?

tadpoles

hey this is my bike!

http://www.sbrsports.com/1011/17-231212

If that was my bike, perish the thought, I would at least find a better picture of it than that. Coming round the last bend in the Tour de France say.

That pic makes it look like medical rehab equipment.

Splendid bike, Steve. Happy pedalling.

Has it got a back mudguard? Very important, these.

What's the story about Jaqui Smith, Spendy?

(Why do women choose silly diminutive names, like Jaqui, Sam, Liz etc etc etc?)

Ms Smith put out some stuff on knife-crime to show what a wonderfully successful Home Secretary she is and it was all a load of guff and the Statistics Watchdog, who I never knew we had, was sent onto the News to give her a bollocking for putting short term, a few hours in this case, political expediency ahead of the facts. Something like that. Then the Home Office tried to blame Downing Street and the latter pulled its rank. If there were no dead kids it would be funny.

The psychologists have a special name for the syndrome of burdening their children with silly names and spellings. I've forgotten what it is.

Fiyoni would be such a name. Fiyoni Smeeths-Mayor Duckworth. Something which costs a lot to have carved on a love token.

You could hardly have a weighty european concordat countersigned with names like Jaqui or Fifi Trixibelle. It wouldn't be right.

But you can't always blame the parents. Some of the sisters do it to themselves.

There was a woman on the TV this morning called Scheherezade.

Now that's a proper name, fit to go on any document.

Did you see that Jacqui has apologised for "the Government putting out the contentious" statistics on knife crime.

Two lies in her apology. It was the Home Secretary who put them out and the figures were a load of bollocks.

And now they have appointed a woman in charge of the $600 million Arts Council budget and policies.

What do we get out of the Arts Council? An unmade bed and half a pickled cow.

At least the auto-workers got us all wheels. The Arts Council has been going 50 years and that's, adjusted for inflation and the growth of chinless wonders, I think, £300 bloody billion.

Do you ever think you are being had up a stick? The Arts Council provides funding for a range of art activities they say. Like shagging, boozing and wining and dining. There hasn't been any art since it was inaugurated. They just have all the art's feechewer writers in Media boxed off. Guess how.

Are we nuts?

The French have a good system for naming children. Alphabetically, according to year of birth. Or that might be for dogs, I forget.

I would have thought that a serious grumbler might have had a more active response to my last post. Don't tell me that the Arts Council has Steve's knees knocking. It's as if he is protecting it.

Hi all,
Guess who i just met...The Queen!!!
I was working at buckingham palace doing catering for this party she came round to meet all her guests, and me and my friend went and stood in the queue to meet her and she had a conversation with us about what time the food would be out. She was really sweet, made a joke and everything.
I think thats put the feather in my cap of famous people I've met through work... I might as well retire now.

'ave ya met Spendi yet?

'e's on me list, ya know, maybe Muckty as well.

(is she as fetching as we've been led to believe?...)

Well thanks a lot.

Just to get in the mood for Crimbo

Ding! Dong! Verily the sky
Is riv'n with angels singing
Hither, page, and stand by me
If thou knowst it, telling
Yonder peasant, who is he,
Where and what his dwelling?

I hum a merry tune.

Speaking of gathering winter fuel, I've never had a fuel allowance payment. I'm going to get on about that this morning.