THE BRITISH THREAD II

C'mon U U's - gotta nice ring to it a?

Hey - lose! Nah - don't even say the word! :wink:

thanks c'pn Izz.

You are a little ray of sunshine.

Muckty wrote:



...and will I there be mushy peas?

You know how to tempt a woman.


x

I have backed Barcelona at 0.5 on goal supremacy. Sorry.

Don't be sorry...

I forgive you.


x

curry sauce

jeez am i hungry.

Had a bit of a row with a bloke round my local the other day who came in with chips all over his head. Wood chips, thats cause he's a chippy. And all chippies have wooden heads and dandruff. Anyway he explained to me that he was not in fact a chippy but a carpenter and joiner. The "argument" started when I asked for a clarification of the difference.

Well how was I to know? It was a genuine question.

I still havent got my head round spread betting when it come to footy. Cricket I understand, because if you buy at 200 runs you will win ((your guess)-200)*(your stake).

But how does it work with footy if you buy at 0.5 of a goal?

...well he had a chip on his shoulder as well! (with curry sauce on it).

A bit of useless info: On the jobs database - joiners and carpenters are the same code. So HM's Government think they are one of the same.

x

The technical expression Steve is that you sell Man U at 0.5.

To buy them it is 0.7. Or was earlier.

If the stake is £20 per goal and you sell at 0.5 you are winning £10 at the kick-off. A goal for Barcelona takes you to £30. If that causes Man U to press upfield another goal for Barca gets you to £50 and so on. Obviously goals for Man U have the opposite effect.

The match supremacy bet is much more complicated as corners count and yellow and red cards.

The thing is that the excitement, such as it is, only ends when the ref blows the final whistle. All bets are on 90 minutes. 0-0 at full-time wins me £10 or four pints of John Smith's Extra Smooth. It gives it a modicum of interest.

I have a feeling that the authorities would prefer Barcelona in the final although why it should be in Moscow is a bit odd. Something to do with money I suppose.

Hi smorgsie. We have got doing men's talk in your absence.

Carpenters are on a higher skill level than joiners. Pattern makers are higher still and cabinet makers are artists.

Posh ladies have artistic cabinets in which they keep the implements of their trade when not in use. Knickers, basques, corsets, silk stockings: that sort of thing.

What a beautiful day in sunny Lancashire.

I was out at 6.45 this morning, drove through to Pleasington (nice little place it is too) the fields looked great, a light mist filtering across the hills and trees.

Plenty of cows out too, two must have been on LSD or something they were trying to jump over the invisible moon.

Back home for 10am and a brilliant day out in the gardens, cutting grass, strimming, blowing, planted five new conifers, nine assorted azalea plants, a dozen assorted fruit trees and bushes, plums, cherry, apple, blackberry, gooseberry and pear. Spread some of Dobbins finest around them and enjoyed a few brews (Punjab's finest strong), courtesy of the wife. Even had my lunch outside it was that nice. Tuna and tomato on toast.

I hope its as nice for the rest of the week too. I have a lot to do out there and my pond filtration tanks need removing and cleaning, (a mammoth task) then it will be time to sort out three large plinths.

Nice to see you out and about too Smorgsi. Trust you're ok ?


I'm backing Man U to do the business tonight.

I always back ManU when they're playing foreigners.
If you see what I mean. A foreign team.
These Barca looked a bit tasty last week, so Sralex will need a bit of luck too.
Good luck then, to ManU.
It's breezy tonight and there probably will be a shower or two, could be greasy on top. Good to soft.

On the other side of football in the greatest City in England I note problems with our old Turnip friend and Mr Thaksin Shinawatra.

Now I cannot see him bringing Chanvit Phalajivin six thousand miles to manage City. Somehow or another he won't quite fit the bill.


I wouldn't mind a twenty quid flutter that Jose Mourinho could be ready to take over though!

Now that would make football interesting.

You sound like you are talking to a bunch of kids Mathos, you patronising tw*t.

Football is already interesting.

Not minding having a twenty quid flutter is not having a twenty quid flutter and that's not much to crow about even if you had one.



Ye Gods. You obviously never read Homer. A backnumber of The People's Friend was it?

I hope you know that the folks of Pleasington do not give a flying fornication for your opinion of their village.

I have leaned on the bar of their Golf Club a few times.

Are you off with your foul mouthed filthy Yorkshire tongue again you illiterate doddering antiquated cretin?


Pleasington Golf Club huh, my my my, what were you doing on a golf course, caddying?


There are some nice folk in Pleasington matey, they wouldn't tolerate your kind for long at all.


Homer... Indeed.


Your as effective as a Jew without arms telling a story without your quotes.

Yeah--Homer. The invention of literary storytelling. A man on whose shoulders rests the whole world of storytelling.

Not one writer worth a blow has missed him out.

He's not done you any good though, has he.

That's a big girl's type of remark. The equivalent of pulling your tongue out and going myyyuurruuh!

It's a scrappy game but pretty tense. United get gifted another goal.

Exactly

What a self opinionated twaddling load of wankers bollocks that was!

Somewhat like Barcelona .... An also ran!

Well that was a nail-biter.

I'd give Man of the Match to Park. Maybe shared with Tevez.