THE BRITISH THREAD II

What do you mean by hard, suss?

Do you mean challenging physically, mentally?

And what's the hardest thing you've ever done?

x

The hardest thing I've ever done was to ignore a bunch of kids whilst eating my sandwich at a bus stop in Mumbai. Thinking as all tourists do, that the locals always try it on to see what they can extort out of you, I looked back at the bus stop as we pulled away, to see them all fighting each other for the crusts that I'd thrown in the bin as the bus arrived. I've never felt so much like a total **** in all my life.

Technically, I suppose that wasn't the hardest thing, as I was unaware of their plight at the time, and was regarding them with typical tourist cynicism, but it certainly made me think about how I treated people for quite a while.

Don't feel bad, Doowop.

It's hard not to be cynical, plus it's difficult to appreciate that people really ARE that poor when you come from the first world.

That's why I would never go to a country like that. I couldn't bear that much reality. I would just be stood there on the street, having given all my money and possessions away, bewildered and stunned by it all.

I've seen real poverty like that, and it still haunts me now.

x

It was quite a while ago, smorgs, and I've sort of erased it, as you do. I tried getting into various charity work for a while when I got back, but soon realised that I didn't have the time to give a regular commitment that the place (local hospice) almost demanded. It got to the stage where they were relying on me to be there, and were sort of annoyed when I had other commitments (such as work!) on a few occasions.
Mind you, I once took part in a pudsie calendar when I was a retained fireman, and that was great fun.
I didn't have to show too much blubber, and we managed to raise over a grand in the town centre over four days.
I've still got a copy somewhere, and look at it when I feel my belt getting tight, just as an incentive to cut back on the cakes and beer for a while.

Just heard that Stirling is planning on having a massive communal Korma tonight, after a shedload of chickens were scattered all over the A80, following a pile up.

Oh, hardy harr.

Why aren't you at work?

I'm sick, what's your excuse?

x

I'm having a bookwork day and waiting for some copper piping. The pipe was due at 9, and the bookwork has been done, so I'm twiddling for a while.
How's your cold coming along? Want someone to rub something into your chest?

Oh, I've just tried and it still doesn't work, but thanks anyway.

Ooh, don't flirt with me on here...

I'm a sucker for that kind of thing. Besides, I'm older than you.

I've just put a few drops of Olbas oil on me wynciette, but thanks anyway.

(big hands, tabs, cakes, my kinda man - swoon)

x

Older shmoulder. Age means nothing when there's plenty of ralgex to hand.

Are you a builder?

x

Body or house?

Body builders don't eat cakes...

x

They do, and they're made of beef!

I'm a builder (of sorts) and am having a go at working for myself at last (well, a group of us are, that is). Hocked up to the eyeballs at the moment and thinking of declaring myself bankrupt, but things should work out when we can get the thing finished and sold.

How's Manchester looking these days? I haven't been that way since Utd was made up entirely of Scots and Irishmen.

Manchester's...

Manchester!

Persevere, and don't forget to keep up your NI contributions.

You can sign on if things get sticky.

x

Things aren't that bad, fortunately. I'm also subbing somewhere else on a regular basis, so the money's not a problem, but the weather bollocksed things up in a big way and delayed things by several weeks/months.
The intention was to use the sale money to invest in another (bigger) build, but the way things have turned out, I can see us all having a re-think before having another go.
I don't think you'll be seeing us on Grand Designs just yet.

Oh you capitalist baaastaaard!

I'm going to get a DVD now and feed my cold a ham and tomato butty and a cup of tea.

x

Nah, I don't think I'm cut out to be a full blooded capitalist. This thing has taken up too much time and worry to be worthwhile, in the real world. I much prefer cash in hand, job and finish and switch off at the end of the day. I don't mind the being knackered and filthy part, but the worry bit I could definitely do without.

Enjoy your butty, and make sure you keep that chest warm.

As it's sunny, I'm going to cut down a fir tree in m y garden, whilst keeping one ear open for a lorry pulling up outside. I now need to find my checked shirt and a big saw. If you hear a loud crash, followed by a scream, please call 999 for me.

I'm a lumberjack and I'm OK, sleep all night and I work all day. Laterz.