Mathos wrote blurting like billieoh-
Quote: " You should save your breath, your girl friend will no doubt require inflating tonight!"
I read your drivel, and cannot help but note your intellect is rivalled only by my gardening tools.
Then I want to compare you to action man; Crew cut, realistic scar, no balls.
Your a perfect example of what happens when incest is committed.
Will you be watching hens lay eggs, with a can of John Smiths Extra Smooth in reach, idling your hours away on the sofa boy?
That's all drivel old boy. Without a shred of doubt. Send a copy to the Philosophy Department at the University of your choice and ask them. Don't rely on me.
It's just a foot stamp and not a very stylish one either.
Oh, for eff's sake, you two!
(stylish foot stamp?)
x
Barnes to Gitteau.
ITS TRY TIME!
OI! OI! OI!
smorgs wrote:I see no-one's enquiring as to my whereabouts...
D'ya read George Galloway describing Brown and Blair as 'two cheeks from the same arse'?
What am I doing?
I put you up a photo of Lyme Regis and you dinae say eechie nor ochie tae onybody.
Ungrateful wretch.
smorgsie-
I can make five course meals for four. No sweat. I don't what the fuss is about.
You just open a can of grapefruit and give them a quarter each, then two cans of a soup suitable for the occasion are poured into a pan and heated up and divided into four portions on proper soup plates with proper soup sppons provided. Whilst these courses are being devoured the Fray Bentos steak-and kidney pie and the Oven chips are coming up to perfection at 180 degrees and the can of Bachelor's Mushy Peas is gently simmering on a very low flame. It gets stuck to the pan if the flame is too high. Obviously HP Sauce and a Tomato Sauce is provided to generate relish where necessary. And salt, pepper and vinegar. It's posher if you place a few slices of bread on a plate rather than just put the loaf in the middle of the table with the application forms and the ashtray, and you ought to offer a choice between butter and a cholesterol and cellulite buster gunk.
Then two cans of Heinz Syrup Sponge are placed in the microwave. I prefer those without custard because custard making is one of my specialities and I like to demonstrate my skill at it when the opportunity arises. I can make custard that caters for my guests fastidiousness. One can have it thin, another medium, another medium thick and the last globby. All out of the same pan.
And then, when all the equipment used has been dumped in the wheelie bin, the large cream and raspberry-jam cake is brought forth, more wine is consumed and when that's all gone we retire to the TV lounge to watch the cricket or if that's not on Sky News. Both are quite suitable to maintain the flow of wrangling, flirting, innuendo, one upwomanmanship, silliness and general frivolity which has been a constant current throughout for the purpose of preventing anybody noticing what the menu consisted of.
Wife swapping can easily come to seem part of the natural order of things with such a meal which is why it is essential to avoid dinner guests with a marked propensity to get out their holiday snaps and to describe the dump they chose to visit as if it was an ante-chamber to the celestial spheres thus proving how wise they were to have made that particular choice after much soul searching in the travel agent's shop and later over the brightly coloured brochures they have carried away with them.
Total cost excluding wine about £10 and if the constant current is satisfactory you won't even know you are preparing it.
All these fancy cooks are merely providing playdough experiences to make up for an absence of a satisfactory constant current. To give minds something to think about and Hienz and Fray Bentos and Bachelors are paid to think about that stuff. They can chop the onions up and what not and season to popular taste.
And there's the rub eh? Who wants to have ordinary, common or garden tastes.
Muckty,
Forgive an ungrateful wretch for not thanking you in the approprate manner for the fantastic snap of Lyme Regis you so graciously uploaded and posted on this 'ere thread for mois.
Is that okay?
x
fannyspendycraddock,
That sounds like my kind of menu! Although I prefer Arctic Roll for afters. Do you make custard with Bird's powder?
I'm anybodies for a Fray Bentos.
x
Well (sniff, blubber) I suppose it will do.
For a moment there I forgot I was Scottish, raised on Irn Bru and made from girders.
Don't you mean...
Girrrrrrrrrrrrderrrrrrrs?
x
He's made of slugs and snails and puppy dog's tails isn't he? That's what I was always told I was made of.
In that pic from the ivy covered courtyard with the fountain he looked a bit like he was made of ripe melon pulp.
Shut it, spends!
Muckty is a friend of mine and a fine bloke.
Let's see a piccy of you then?
x
You're in a horrible mood today!
How come?
Somebody needs a hug.
x
I hate being hugged. I had it all the time I was a kid. Mum, aunties, neighbours. Strange ladies in shops sometimes such was my charm. Like as if I was a fluffy toy.
Mac understands a bit of gentle male ribbing.
You don't defend me like that. Is Mac under your wing or something? He calls me a numpty.
McTag wrote:
Hey where's Steve- still got the blues after yesterday's game, bud?
I do believe it was you who described England Rugby as "our boys". I'm supporting France (£10, which is a lot to me, rests on it). England were humiliated yesterday. But hey Vidic got a late goal to beat Everton!
well finally caught up reading several pages and must say I am proud to be associated with such a bunch of complete nutters.
I wish I was mad.
spendius wrote:I hate being hugged. I had it all the time I was a kid. Mum, aunties, neighbours. Strange ladies in shops sometimes such was my charm. Like as if I was a fluffy toy.
Mac understands a bit of gentle male ribbing.
You don't defend me like that. Is Mac under your wing or something? He calls me a numpty.
Come on, sussy!
You are under my wing more than you know...
You know I've got a soft spot.
Now come 'ere and give us a big wet smacker, whilst I clamped you to my heaving bosoom.
...and don't be so daft.
x
Muckty!
Say sorry for calling spends a numpty...
RIGHT NOW!
You melon-fleshed, Scottish, knee-showing, sandel wearing, tight bastard.
x
He's all yours, spends.
x
smorgs wrote:Muckty is a friend of mine and a fine bloke.
hey is this Muckty guy Indian, I mean East Indian [for the sake of americans
] ?
