THE BRITISH THREAD II

At least one misplaced apostrophe there, old boy.

Mathos is excellent at stirring the ****, isn't he? A star.

Quote Chairman Mao----Mathos is excellent at stirring the ****, isn't he? A star.



Is that a compliment or an insult Mr Mao?

Spendi Quote:-

What questions?

Anyway I have to depart. I am going to a Catholic wedding to see a virgin given away.


Are you going to let me buy you a pint?

We will do them one at a time, so as not to further confuse your troubled brain.


One further question, where can a twelve year old girl get married in a Catholic Church. I know Yorkshire is the retarded state of the UK, but surely they will never condone such actions as you are portraying, will they?

I will assume you're talking to me.

It is neither. Well, maybe a backhanded compilment. And a grudging one, of course.

Your all the same you Jocks, fishing for compliments. How ya doing Mac? :wink:

When I get straight I'll let you have some good details and pics from the last trip I made.

They will include Anghor Wat which was magnificent. Never seen anything like it in my life

Aw, please don't Mathos. One picture is much the same as another especially those showing bloody scenery. And it is bloody. Red in tooth a claw. Uncivilised. Not tarmaced over yet with signs telling you which way to go. No scenery can be said to be more magnificent than any other scenery. Except parks and gardens of course. One can see in those a vast waste of money and , as you know, waste signifies status and obviously for it to fulfill its function it needs must be paraded before the eyes of lesser mortals preferably with a running commentary on how magnificent all the natural beauty actually is that has been photographed at such expense and how privileged we proles are to be graciously shown it so that we can get a vague idea of how marvellous it must have been to be there in the flesh with the crack burning from last night's curry and the salt from the sweat aggravating it.

What fascinates you about the wild? It's horrible.

No Spendi, not horrible it's real. Your sofa, TV and beer are all false, bull **** and crap for ignorant sloths of the lowest life forms on the planet. Do you still watch Coronation Street? I suppose you do, millions of others do, but you never see it out East. Don't let it worry you though Spendi, I save my accounts and photographs for the privileged few who ask me for the same and let me have their e-mail details.

Your avoiding those questions I note, and your home early from the 'Virgins' wedding are you not?

Perhaps you were evicted as a total bore, or did you have to get back home to watch some silly programme on the box?

It never ceases to amaze me as to just how narrow minded you are, is it your age, or have you always been a sloth?

Tell me Spendi, did you ever play rugby, no doubt you played football and cricket, (did you use a corkie or were you restricted to a tennis ball?)

I used to love bowling when I played, I didn't half make them bounce, it was fun watching the batsman yell, and see his follow up tremble as I was doing the run up. Pug Hughes, he was our house-master and cricket coach, 'Mathos,' he would say, 'the idea is to hit the stumps or bales not his skull, but keep it up lad, were going places.'

I played scrum half or hooker in my rugger days, hooker was my favourite spot though, I got accused of doing all sorts in those days, all good fun, especially after the match when we had a real set to in the shower room. That was the advantage of going to an all boys Grammar School, it made men out of lads. I take it you were in coeducational school, doing pottery, cookery and dancing classes.

Mathos wrote-



Well it turned out after the Rolls Royce's had done their stuff and the white ribbon and the ridiculous priest had shot his spiel plus other bullshit it is almost impossible to credit that the couple had been shacked up together in a flat over a butcher's shop for two years so the magic simply evaporated and it became simply a matter of the exchange rate between vanity and currency.

I went with

"As I walked out in the mystic garden,
Wounded flowers hanging on the vine
Passing by yon cool, crystal fountain."

And returned with

"Something hit me from behind."

Mathos wrote-



OOOOOOOOOOoooooooooohhhhhhh!!! Mathsie, that sounds really exciting.

Give us a briefing on what a "set to" consisted of. Never mind Anghor Wat.

We can look that up if we have the inclination.

Did anybody see "The Wedding Belles" on ITV on Thursday night?

We had it recorded, watched it last night. Bloody hell. Written by the "Trainspotting" man, Irvine Welsh.

A new type of TV drama?

Morning, McTag. Early bird etc ...

Good morning, Walter.

Ah yes, I retired early last night and so am up betimes.
Not doing anything useful though.
I'll put the kettle on.

Waiting to hear more of the wonders of Thailand and Cambodia with bated breath.

Will go for a bike ride later today, maybe into Didsbury, me and her indoors...

So now I'm watching Liverpool vs Arsenal (just bought a second football channel), than ManU vs Blackburn Rovers and inbetween (or instead) German Bundesliga.

A lot of indoor action at a beautiful spring day.

So, Walter, some lively matches.

Did Wes Brown handle the ball? A penalty would have made it 2-0 Blackburn. ManU have been very lucky in most recent matches....but they're not a bad side.

A hat-trick fot Peter Crouch! Not a bad comeback match for him.

Well, it wasn't a real hattrick - but a nice match, nevertheless (poor kitchenpete).

Couldn't follow all of ManU's playings over all the time - had to watch Schalke loosing in Munich simultaniously (plus the other Bundesliga matches).

Sometimes life is very hard.

There are times Spendi, when you really rile me! You will ignore totally any direct question; you ask the most ridiculous questions .

In order to show you manners, you ignorant Yorkshire oink, I will answer your question.

What is a set to?

Rugby being played with the will to win becomes a very excitable combat zone. A fracas has to be denied or the game will be ended abruptly. The referee has to ensure he keeps control. In my playing days, the changing rooms had a large shower room, (no cubicles) We used carbolic soap or similar, I never saw a shampoo bottle or sachet in those days. If disagreeable comments were to be passed between opposing players or indeed team mates, it would always result in one of those big red hard blocks of soap being whizzed at the verbal aggressor. This would eventually lead to a good quality punch up. Being trainee gentlemen we would ensure a firm hand shake prior to making our way home.

Now, are you going to let me buy you a pint in your local?

Man U had a good win today, those scaly cockney's had the luck of the devil with that injury time win

Mathos-

How on earth could you buy me a pint in my local when you don't deign to enter the sort of sordid atmosphere I am habituated to or keep the sort of company I keep.

It is only by frequenting the same place everynight for years that one is enabled to pick up the real life story going on underneath the veneer. Those who rarely visits pubs or who chop and change as their whimsy (their narcissism) takes them see strangers everywhere they go. In fact they seem to seek out the company of strangers precisely to avoid seeing the real life story in the underbelly of social intercourse. This story is going on in every pub with a reasonable number of regulars and when one is used to it from constant observation it becomes easy to see it in strange pubs once one gets one's bearings.

That's why there's difficulty with my posts. The underbelly is in my alcoholised blood. And rightly so because people are all the same in groups where sexual politics are at work. I actually dislike a family member joining the company. The veneer dominates the conversation then.

The middle-classes just need a few extra drinks to join the rolling river as it flows along looking to lose itself in the wide blue ocean. Their inhibitions require more loosening up- that's all.

Just like they all pick their nose or shake the last drop off in the same way.
Such things are classless which is why the posh don't like talking about them.

Ya dig?