THE BRITISH THREAD II

...and when the guide invited us to touch some stalegmites, he said "notice the greasy feel of Carbonate on your fingers"...

I couldn't, it just felt wet, but I nodded - enraptured.

I love the Peak District, reminds me of going on a school trip to the Blue John Mines, we went for a walk after in the hills - very Sound of Music with a load of Nuns. It was windy and Sister Sledge's habit blew up, first time I ever saw a Nun's knickers...

they were Navy.

...and crotchless

...just joking!

...or am I?

x

DP wrote-



Whatever turns you on.

I have a beard. The tranny suspects are the shavers especially if they regularly miss turning up in the pub.

I can do a lot better than the dog lover bit if the mods keep allowing you to project your obsessions. I don't think they would be up for granting you a monopoly. I can do pissing matches way out of your league. You're so trite and wanting in originality.

[URL]=http://www.time.com/time/health/article/0,8599,1644050,00.html?xid=rss-health [URL]

If the link doesn't work it's on the Relationships forum under Too Many Hysterectomies.

Maybe Mac's right. They don't need us. Just a little snip does the trick.

You know what I just had a vision of then?

Kenny Everette as Cupid Stunt, complete with beard.

Must say, spends, I'd have never had you pegged as a tranny. Egomaniacal bastard - yes, tranny - no.

But why is it such an insult? Embrace a tranny today, I say.

x

...and WHAT were YOU doing on the relationship thread, spendice?

x

With what objective?

On the other.

I suppose the op would be $2,000 so 600,000 a year times $2,000 is quite good business. $1.2 billion is it?

No wonder they have their sales staff on the job.

I'm downgrading you smorgs.

Why?

What have I done now?

If Muckty was here, he would defend me...

As it is, he's probably having his tea, on a tray in front of the telly with tartan slippers on, probably having neeps and tatties with something like trossock pie (and gravy).

x

...and I'm wombah intacto!

x

smorgs wrote-



As you might know I spend a fair amount of time on the Science and Mathematics forum and to get to the Brit thread and Triv I have to spin through the others and one day last week I spotted Calamity Jane and so I checked in because we were a bit of an item once in my A2K youth.

It turned out the thread was Spit or Swallow and as I have a good deal of experience in such matters I did a post or two for the readers there in order to guide their reading more scientifically.

As there has been some debate on here concerning the welfare of women, in which I have taken a side and been scoffed at with meaningless sarcasms, when I noticed a thread next to the S/S titled Too Many Hysterectomies I obviously had a look in because I see the frequency of that operation as a rough guide to the welfare of women. Body language is more specific.

If you take the word apart in its Greek derivations you might see what I mean. If you don't I'll understand.

I already know the origins of the term hysterectomy, why wouldn't I? I may be blonde, but I do occasionally get up to two questions right on University Challenge.

You're so pompous sometimes, men always are.

x

I was being polite. I could have said what I had in mind but I know how sensitive people are on clean talk. I'm sorry if my weak alternative came over as pompous.

How many false conclusions are going to be on this thread tonight? I'm beginning to think Mr Woodhead is right and that the 14 years compulsory schooling is just baby minding these days.

I have to go and make play doh cakes now. See how far I've come? Then I have to run a 'princess bath', that's extra deep with extra bubbles, and have a long conversation about stalegtites and stalegmites...using the elaborate code of course. Good job I didn't waste the education I never got.

See you later.

x

Well I happen to think your a big soft namby-pamby girl with a beard!

Worse than a big girls blouse.

Never in my life have I come across such grovelling from a man, if you stuck to your guns the pubs would still be alive you big mard soft arse-hole.

Get real Spendi..

Fight for what you want mate! Stop letting people walk all over you and heeling it in!

Tranny...that really does suit you!


Well done Dorothy.

Smoked mackerel, potato salad made by me, mixed green salad and Scottish strawberries and raspberries to follow.

I've put the tartan slippers away for the summer. (That is, till the end of next month)

Mathos-

I'm expensively trained to be a namby-pamby. In some of the places I've been if you tried that psuedo- daredevil stuff in the safety harness at the theme park on the travel agent's guided tour with the little woman holding your little trembling hand in order to try to reassure yourself that you're not the little mumsie's darling that you prove you are scientifically by thinking your assertions have the slightest validity you wouldn't have lasted five minutes and the poor long suffering taxpayer would been put to all the trouble and expense of flying you home and having the brass band turning out and the leaders having to do the crocodile trick and all that razzamatazz not forgetting the booze up to finish off with.

FYI- the figure of speech at the end is known in certain circles as a "flinning".

Spendi


You make so many feeble attempts to appease yourself from one thread to the other that you meet yourself coming backwards and are totally unaware your nose is up your arse.

It proves an ineffectual exercise, you should be obliged to be more rigorous in your meanderings.

You cannot, mark my words, cannot, be seen to prevaricate any test of reasonable sensibility whilst you are defecting in your aspirations of peculiarity to the subjects on hand.

You are simply climbing a staircase of your own design, a winding staircase, without diffidence or confidence and basically making yourself appear an utter blithering idiot of hitherto un-equalled proportions.

Rather like the man who puts his wages in his pocket without counting the notes!

Tis time you took stock of yourself dear boy and stopped playing with your pecker! The natives find it highly amusing.

I've noticed that you all studiously avoided my 'dastardly Eastern Europeons rob our fish' post...

It was relevent and highly topical!

Just 'cos it didn't have any farts, tits or shagging in it...

There are many facets to smorgs, don't you know?

x

"Wages!!!??? Who do you think you are talking to? Wages indeed.

But I must admit to being very touched at your display of empathy with a member of the female species. It warmed the cockles of my heart. It fair did. There is such a thing as a tranny mind although most sufferers haven't the bottle to go all the way or possibly not the chance. A tell-tale sign is empathy with the feminine at the expense of your "mates" as you called them. Some henpecked husbands accept their status and not only joke about it but take in good part the jokes of others. THey can be quite funny. Especially the droller types. One I knew could have us all in stitches describing the humiliations he had to put up with before being allowed to come to the pub his wife could have a little time to herself.

But the henpecked husband who doesn't know he's henpecked; who thinks he is living rationally and normally, is absurd. To be pitied. In need of a recovery plan.

And, as I said, empathy with the distaff angle is a sure giveaway. It hints at trying a wee bit a little too hard to ingratiate yourself with what is actually a fearsome and devious beast of prey in whose mouth ice melts a lot quicker that the folk wisdom suggests. One does have to consider the trail of wasted, wrung-out and washed-up blokes one has been unfortunate enough to have had to sympathise with, often with tears flowing, over the years. Just because they hadn't the energy nor skills to provide the lifestyle a lady wished to become accustomed to after reading the Daily Shite and watching the drivel on the seat of her couched bottom.

And they all never could to start with.

And I notice you are still asserting like billyho. You have to because you know I'm right. You're just a soft touch. A sitting duck really.

Fancy agreeing with a woman. Everything they say should be treated with the utmost suspicion.

At least I respect the little darlings. They're not "furniture" to me.

spendy in the sky with dia-a-a-monds

Just felt like singing that.

What d'ya make of Bob re-mixing his old stuff then, suspendiosity?

I hate to bring up The Free Trade Hall...

Did I ever tell you my uncle was a bouncer (ahem - door man) there? Used to get us in for nothing... yep, seen all the greats: David - cheeky cockerny, riding the back of your dodgem - Essex, UFO, The Police (before they were famous and Sting hadn't met anyone with a compact disc embedded in their lip) and many more.

Aye, them were grand old days, a bit like Wheel Tappers and Shunters - but with drugs.

x

When parliament is in recess, and many "journalists" are on vacation, and some go on holiday, old (but interesting) stories get recirculated.

I've seen that one before....it's true, Poles eat our carp and pike, the dastards.

Smorgie, I should have known that coarse fishing would be the kind that suits you best....

Only joking. x