How Much Stamina is Required of Good Samaritans?

Actually, this is a scenario not unfamiliar to any who have extended help in one way or another to an addicted person.
It lies within each individual "samaritan" to judge each individual person in distress. I think the only generalization I'd make is; in aiding a drowning person, to take care not to be pulled under.

Everything in moderation, my old mum used to say.

food aid to africa is a case in point. Give high protien biscuits today and tomoorow they will come back for more.
Give a well pump a packet of seeds and a goat and you will never see them again.

I agree mostly with snood's response.

Important is, to my own experience and what I noticed when councilling, to accept when the signs of s.o.'s own limits appear.

And since 'samaritans' very rarely can and/or will notice those signs - they at least should listen to others who tell them about getting to the end of their own physical or/and moral strength.

Self-sacrifice up to 'self-drowing' - to speak with snood's parable - doesn't help anyone.

No good deed goes unpunished. Or seems to, sometimes.

I like to help people, I do. But sometimes it turns absolutely and irrevocably into a tarbaby. By tarbaby I mean something it's hard to extricate oneself from. As Wikipedia says, it's a sticky situation only aggravated by efforts to solve it. http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Tar_baby

I am reminded by a song by the Sneaker Pimps called 6 Underground, bolded emphasis mine:

Take me down, 6 underground, the ground beneath your feet (A one, two) Laid out low Not meant to go No where or way to meet (A one, two) I've got a head full of drowse Down here So far off from losing out Round here Overground Watch this space I'm open...to falling through grace Calm me down Bring it round To way high off your street (A one, two) I can see Like nothing else In me you're better than I wanna be [b]Don't think cuz I understand I care Don't think cuz we're talking We're friends[/b] Overground Watch this space I'm open...to falling through grace Talk me down Safe and sound Too strung up to sleep (A one, two) Wear me out Scream and shout Swear my time's never cheap (A one, two) I fake my life like I bleed Too much I'll take whatever your giving Not enough Overground Watch this space I'm open I fake my life like I've lived Too much I'll take whatever you're giving Not enough Overground Watch this space I'm open...to falling through grace (A one, two) (A one, two) (A one, two) (A one, two)

Just 'cause we're talkin', we didn't suddenly turn into best friends. I have friends, here and elsewhere, but it takes me a while to make 'em, and it's gotta be a two-way street.

Dang, now this song's gonna be in my head all day.

Because of this "leech-suck-the-blood-out-of-you" attitude, Good Samaritan are quite rare these days. Most of them have been taken advantage of,
and I am sure, we all have experienced incidents where we tried to help
a person only to find out that we have become a personal saviour, ready and willing to help, be at their disposal 24/7.

Noddy, the only way to escape these leeches is to remove yourself and ignore them completely.

You have to set a standard by which you cull the leeches from the deserving. It is sometimes a tendency to lump them together. At some point, you have to send the ones Noddy speaks of on their way.

Can we pair 'em up at least?

I believe in kicking a man when he is down, it will give him incentive to get up.

Then again, one has to define what one means by, "deserving".

Actually, everyone "deserves" help if asked. We have to separate the
ones who need help from the ones who are in perpetual need of help.

On a personal level, in interactions between two people, I have to agree with you. The only thing is determining just how much help you are willing to give.

There are people for whom I would go out on a limb, if they needed my help. There are others, who I would not do much for, even though, by your definition, they were equally "deserving".

Each person has their own hierarchy of importance, when it comes to dealing with other people. One needs to be clear, in one's own mind, as to how far they would go in any particular situation.

On a national level, state or even local level, individuals do not have much choice in how their tax money is being spent, even though some of it may go to causes of which they have no desire/interest to help.

Exactly what I was thinking. Exactly.

I agree, Phoenix, if I have to decide of helping a friend or someone I don't
know, my choice will be an easy one.



We do have a choice: to vote for the right party. Plus - considering that
we still pay far less taxes than in Europe - we can donate money/time
to specific entities that are dear to us.

In my personal life, off line, I know exactly when I need to take off my Good Samaritan Hat and put on my Glad Rags/Party Clothes.

One of the reasons I can do this is because in my personal life I have the power to enforce limits. I know I don't have to answer the telephone--or the door.

On A2K setting limits is more difficult because trolls--whether they are Savage & Slashing or Needy & Clueless--don't go away when asked politely. Maybe they pride themselves on Magnificent Defiance or perhaps they are simply unaware that they are sticking their elbows in my eyes.

In either case, trolls can't be banished from an Internet forum unless you're a Moderator with access to software.

I have little compassion for anyone who engages in personal attacks. Much harder to ignore are the posters who crave perpetual attention and who refuse to accept the implications of their postings.

Snood, Walter--

I like the comparison of the Perpetually Emotionally Needy with an addicted personality. Very thought provoking.

DadPad--

Some people don't want to fish. They want to discuss their needs. Key word here is "discuss". Talking about action is much easier than taking action.

Jes--

I like the Tarbaby Concept. Every time Br'er Rabbit took umbrage and socked the Tarbaby, Br'er Rabbit wound up elbow deep, knee deep, neck deep in tar.

High tide, low tide....I'm of a mood to enjoy marching the trolls off the ark two by two. Unfortunately, the beasts aren't obedience trained.

Edgar, Phoenix--

In recreational situations I'm much more likely to husband my resources according to my needs than according to the needs of the needy.

Calamity Jane--

You are absolutely right about ignoring trolls. Unfortunately, in high exasperation one can forget that behind the exterior of 95% of trolls there is a tarbaby lurking.

Once more, into the breach--the breach being the A2K Saturday Sandbox....

Roger--

Howdy.

Ignore the smeggers.

Yes.

Ignore.

Ignore.

Ignore.

(I'm trying to hypnotize myself...)

Ignore...

Here's my thing. I will assume that any given person is worthy of help and I will gladly provide it. There are many conditions under which I will keep on providing help indefinitely. There is a certain type of person who demonstrates that any energy that goes into helping is energy that is completely wasted, though. In those cases I try to just move on. I sometimes hope I can get through, help them see the light, you know. When I have more time/ energy I'm more willing to do that even when it seems mostly (or even entirely) hopeless. Right now I'm spread thin so am trying, really trying to

Ignore...

Ignore...

Ignore...

Actually, I'd like to help, but don't have the energy for batting my head. That's is probably a healthy thing.

In my view, batting in such situations harms both batter and battee.

A very special form of batting is needed.