There are many miserable people on the internet. They have no place else to go, nothing else to do and no one to do it with and so, miserable, cowardly and mad at the world, they get online and they're rude and mean and disrespectful towards fellow human beings. I guess that type of behavior is empowering and it helps them to feel better about their own sad-ass lives.
I must have missed that thread, Phoenix.
Someone asked for help & was ridiculed? An established member? I honestly can't imagine this. A bit of jokey stuff, maybe, but not outright rudeness or hostility .....
All of us are woundable on serious questions in our lives. Me, and you, and you.
What is Phoenix's point? Don't slamgut, with intent, on personal issues.
Usually that doesn't need saying, even amidst the fray. Better a skip, if you have a problem with the person, at worst a simple **** will do. Then again, most here get that.
The big relationships shift provided by the internet relies partially on the fact that you know but you actually don't know lots of people you interact with. Anonimity (monikers, avatars) has to do with it. Not everyone is Walter Hinteler, who is strictly precise even about his location.
This situation may lower your sense of responsability (I think it does, sometimes, with everybody, no exceptions) or may even change, overall, the way you relate to the world, with different levels of responsability, according to the level of closeness (which is sometimes blurred in forums).
It's a paradox: perhaps the mean poster meant no harm, and just wanted us to laugh, to find him/her funny and witty. And that mattered more than the other poster's deep feelings.
Anyway, I protest about one thing: Phoenix is discrete about the mean spirited post, but does not give a link. I'm curious (yellow) and want to see if he/she is on my "notalk" list.
I saw the thread.
The guy was already on my "notalk" list (which is made of 2 persons).
He wasn't trying to be funny, but to hurt.
What a jerk! Deserves a good kick in the balls with soccer shoes!
Diane is not without tears. But I'm the more obsessed a2k person/weird reference. Them are both dear.
We'll weather this. I regret useful discussion on Dys' question, it had had a good start.
dlowan is totally right, little mean bastards who deliver their frustrations online are to be ignored, but the bad feeling about them often remains beyond logic... so the best thing is to ignore them, after a good virtual kick in the balls (which could be real if I ever met them personally).
pancho, like so many of my good friends, exhibits kindness and understanding.
I don't know what to say, except that in this case where dys was the
recipient of a cruel statement, it probably was given as a "payback"
for all the flack cj received for his redneck, pro-gun crapola.
He doesn't realize that criticizing one's opinion is in no relation to making
cruel comments about someone's emotional distress. It was in poor
taste and utterly cruel.
On the other hand, I think that this is really an isolated case, and most
a2kers go out of their way to help others.
Well, sure, he knows you...
Listen, DysBob, you are not an island.
And, CJane, I agree, most, even in the flame of rage, of whatever views - and we vary - avoid attempt at the really personal.
I guess I am going on too much. Plan to be quieter.
dyslexia wrote:pancho, like so many of my good friends, exhibits kindness and understanding.
Both fbaezer and ossobucco have been helpful on this topic, dyslexia. It is a coincidence that my very first A2K post was answered by fbaezer and osso. We were then joined in the discussion by a third person who was unnecessarily caustic. I learned a lot by watching how fbaezer and osso handled him. (My initiation to the world of A2K).
I've never noticed FB lose it, though I've been known to watch myself lose grip.
But -- the kind of argument in this old link wasn't really personal.
osso,
The argument on that old thread was not personal, but it was the very first thread for me and prepared me for handling disagreement. It was fun for me to reminisce when I saw you and fbaezer on this thread.
I'll add that a2k is the first time I, rather late in life, have tried to sort out my sense of how to grow up and disagree sanely, though of course I'd been working at it for a while before. I'm still fairly quiet, still learning.
I'm sorry Craven isn't around so much lately because - though his command of argument frightens me - I learned. Well, I learn from varied people, not all of them tied by the ankle to reason. I also learn by manner - JLNobody, for example, besides being reasonable, is both gentleman, scholar, and funny, once you tune in. All that, and he can dissociate from it!
We'll see what tomorrow brings, re discussion.
It takes some time to get over what happened on that thread.
And I'm really glad that such is happening here very rarely.
Meanwhile there is always...
Gustav's Perspective
(sometimes it helps to have a strange sense of humor)
