Tipping Etiquette

Mame, I thought it was $8.00 per hour?

Reyn: I was just on the Employment Standards website the other day due to a question about the Remembrance Day being a statutory holiday and it said $8.50 - knock me over with a feather - who knew? (Not that we pay minimum wage in our company anyway, but...)

Well, I tip for takeout most of the time, because of being a waitress in the past and I just know that extra buck that means so little to me can make a big difference in how they feel about how things are going (in a small restaurant, anyway).

Also because there were far too many people I waited on who ordered to go just to avoid being expected to tip-- then they'd sit at the counter and eat anyway! Leaving their stuff for you to clean up when they were done, just like a regular customer-- the only difference being that they obviously figured, "What? I got takeout, I don't need to tip!" And I worked at a restaurant that had a lot of little extra things that didn't come with the food, but regulars liked to ask for-- special dressings, a thing of salsa, some soy sauce, a to go water cup, etc. Basically, they'd get all the service of a regular customer-- a water glass filled, a few trips back and forth to get them all the extras they wanted-- but all packed into the three minutes they were at the counter. So they'd make you hustle twice as fast to get them everything, and then act like you'd done nothing for them. I hated people like that...Grr.

Or the damn fool woman who needed all the extra stuff, and as fast as possible of course, and then oopsie! spilled a dressing bottle allll over the counter and floor and still didn't tip, because after all, the server doesn't do anything when you get take out! Oooh, how I despised that woman...<sigh> All right, I'll shaddup now...

nods to cyphercat....yeah there are some real cheapskates out there who are at the same time totally oblivious to the havoc they cause.

When these same people are not at a restaurant, they are giving some other type of business/service agita.

Now don't get me wrong, no one loves a bargain more than me, but I unconsciously plan for that extra I'm going to put out, and my spending on an occassion is a range, not set in stone.

For instance, a couple of years back I started buying those Entertainment Books from a neighbors school age child, to help out the school...you know, the one that's full of 2 for 1 coupons for restaurants and stuff. At first I felt weird even for using them (I don't know why, just felt funny). Then I realized wherever we used them no who worked there raised an eyebrow or gave us lesser service. Then I realized of course it was the business owners decision to participate in this program, it was a cost he was totally willing to accept, so why feel strange? I take advantage of them for both them for both dining out and takeout, because how else can I get a prepared meal for two with no work, and at less a cost than I can make it at home?

That said, I look at it that I just saved $10.00, why not leave the waiter an extra buck or two? Like Cypher said, that dollar doesn't mean that much to me, but it adds to the hourly wage of the waiter.

I totally understand being on a fixed income, or being broke....been there, believe me. When I was trying to feed 2 people on $7.00 a day total for 3 meals, a dollar hamburger at a fast food place was out of the question. But on the occasion we did go out, I wasn't going to penalize someone working hard because I was going out when I hadn't saved up quite enough to tip them.
Thank God those days are over.

Right now I have a little side work at a take out place. I don't expect tips, we don't have them pre-programmed on debit.

I hate hate hate when I see "Tip" pop up when I pay by card! On principle alone, I won't do it. If there was great service from someone, I'll just leave cash.

Regarding take-out tipping: No obligation. It sure feels good to get one though! Especially from a regular...every once in a while, if you say 'keep the change' or throw in a tiny something, it can be a great way to say "thanks, I've noticed that you remember my orders, do it fast, and are being nice to me".

I also think a lot of it is based on the working conditions of the place. If one or two guys are working the whole restaurant, and they are fast n' friendly at 2 a.m. , that would give me more motivation to tip. Fancy pants restaurant where the cashier is also a 'hostess' or some stupid lazy ass job: **** em. (That is barely doing enough work for your pay).

Hard work = money from me

That's my thoughts.

Know the difference between a canoe and a Canadian?


















Canoes tip.

Apparently this is a joke making the rounds of the US where we're notorious.....well, my name is Tai Chi, I'm Canadian and I tip. I don't always tip well depending on the service, but at least 10% unless the service was deliberately bad. That could be a whole other thread I think -- snotty servers who went out of their way to be supercilious or whatever. Anybody on this forum from Quebec? I would love to hear from you. We were told a story once (by a Quebecker) about a waiter who returned to a table at the end of a meal to complain that the tip was inadequate!

I understand what Mame is saying about the disconnect between restaurant servers and other minimum wage earners but I do see a difference. Some minimum wage earners provide a personal service. Your hairdresser touches you and gets up close and personal with the wax in your ears, dandruff on your collar Waiters/waitresses deal with your dirty plates, cutlery, table linen. The pizza guy who delivers in a snow storm is a hero. I think they deserve a little extra -- the clerk at the hardware store can usually keep their distance.

I suppose, all this about tipping is more a historically ... wrong ... idea:

originally tips were given mainly because of gratitude or compassion, and sometimes to encourage better service.
And before the Civil War, Americans thought they were degrading to the tip-takers who have to "ask for favors" instead of earning a fair wage, and that tipping makes the tip-takers servile and creates different classes.


I've never understood why I should pay for a service which usually should be included - but that's most probably because in Europe people get better wages and tips in restaurants etc are always included in the bill.
(That's why e.g. waiters here like Americans so much )

Most of us here tip, I think, despite whether we like it or agree with it... it's just socially unacceptable not to.

I heard a radio show not long ago on this very topic and several restauranteurs called in and asked for patrons to write their comments on their bill. They or the managers go through the receipts so they would see the comments. Most want to improve their service.

I don't tip snotty or indifferent servers.

To Patiodog: Yeah it is a sit down place first and a carryout second. I'm sure that is why they have a tip spot, but I always see them look at it after I sign it and hand it back... kind of like they expect to see something there. The few occasions when I have added in a tip, they immediately take it out of the register and place it in a tip jar.

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I actually like tipping and pride myself on tipping fairly. On our first wedding anniversary, the restaurant we went to discovered that we were there for our first anniversary and they decided to cover the bill for us (it helped that SBs uncle is the head chef there). It was a very nice place so I brought $150 in cash planning on spending most of it for the dinner. When they decided to cover our bill for us, we decided to leave what we would have paid for dinner, for the waitress. She served us very well, was very pleasant and prompt with her service, so we left $100 tip for her. It really isn't anymore than we would have spent for dinner anyway so it really wasn't any money out of our pocket.

Tai Chi, Your mention of food delivery to the door juggled my brains a little, and I think I have read someplace that the tip should be $5 no matter what the cost of the food. Is this correct? We never have food delivered to our home; we go out to eat, or my wife prepares the food. Our son calls to pizza parlors, but he goes to pick it up.

jpinM, It's been my recent knowledge that even when paying the check by credit card, the tip should be in cash, because it ensures that the waiter/waitress will get it. It also eliminates the cost of the fee for the credit card charge which reduces the tip. I'm sure this will stir up more discussion.

In most restaurants, the tip goes into a pot and is split up between all of the servers and bus boys at the end of the night.

Using a card does not reduce the tip, but does cost the restaurant money by having to pay the fee that the credit card company charges... plus, sometimes I just don't have cash for a tip.

Thanks for the clarification; it's been in the senior grey matter of my mind, but you know how that goes. <smiles>

Exactly! Pizza dudes who say 'how's it going?', hey, that's enough for a tip from me!

I'd tip my friendly neighborhood postman, but he makes a lot of cash as it is. All he gets is a Timmy's for holidays.

Also have noticed that I tip people who bother to get to know me a lot more.

In JPN's position at the nice restaurant, no way I would do that. Maybe I'm cheap, but those guys don't even know me from a hole in the ground....of course it is easy to be nice ONE night for a big fat tip.

What do you do when the service is great but the food is horrible?

Or has someone already asked that question?

We give our postman a christmas gift every year; not cash, usually a box of See's candy.

gus, If the service is good, but the food is bad, always tell the waiter/waitress that the food is bad. I've complained about the food quite often, and the manager will usually come to your table to satisfy you. One time at Spoons, where I usually get the baby back ribs, it was dried out, and I complained. They provided me with another entre, then brought another plate of good ribs. It's not the waiter's fault.

So, why do you only tip the waiter-service and not for the kitchen?
(When I pay my bill here, a "tip" [=service charge] is included for everyone.)

I'd tip the waiter, they didn't cook the food.


re putting the tip on a credit card, yeah, the waiter will get it, but now there's a paper trail and they'll have to declare the amount for taxes.

I forget the %, but waiters only have to claim a certain % of their tips, based on the total receipts....something like 5% or less. Tipping cash puts more actual money in their pocket.

Chai Tea, But isn't it also true that most tips will be in cash, so the amount of tips collected by cc will be an amount that they are required to claim on their tax forms anyway?