why are you what you are?

Such interesting stories. The obvious answer for me is becoming deaf, dealing with that. But the bus reminds me of another story -- when I was in maybe 7th grade, there was a bully girl who would just torment the younger kids. Lots of physical torturing (hair-pulling, pinching, punching), emotional (teasing), and stuff like stealing their lunches. She was maybe a 6th grader, but GIANT. Quite fearsome. The older kids sat in back, younger in front, and she would ignore us to torture them.

I didn't know any of the younger kids, but it really bothered me that she was getting away with this. (I think I told the bus driver and other authority figures about it to no effect.) Finally one day I had enough. As she wrestled a lunch away from a kid, I stood up and said "HEY!" Every eye in the bus was riveted on me. She swaggered up to me and said "What?!" I closed what distance remained and said "Leave her alone!" We had a staring contest for a while, and then finally started laughing. I don't remember who started it, me or her. (And for those who are wondering, that's part of where I got the idea for my story in the writer's workshop thread.) But we just started laughing, and she kinda gave me a look and went and sat down with her arms crossed. She didn't bother the younger kids again.

I have done many, many, MANY versions of that since, and while some have been ugly, I haven't ever actually been in a physical altercation. (Yet?)

Sozo was that a progressive thing? After all this time I didn't know how you became deaf. Sorry if I missed it.

Oh no problem. One day when I was 13 I couldn't hear nothin', next day I was fine. Went to the doc, couldn't figure out what happened, but got better, so just a head-scratcher. 6 months later, happened again, then fluctuated wildly -- deaf, hard of hearing, hearing, deaf, hard-of-hearing, etc., etc,. with no rhyme or reason, for 5 years. The overall trend was downwards -- highs didn't go as high, lows went lower. But drastic fluctuations within a period of days or even hours. By the time I was 18, had basically leveled off to profound deafness. (I have a 120 db loss in both ears -- when you see people talking about "percentage" loss, like Heather Whitestone with her "90%" loss, they are going by the audiological chart that usually goes down to only 100 dbs -- so she has a 90 db loss. I'm "120%" deaf. )

yikes! thanks! they never told me how they measure the ringing - but it often goes up and down as well (the ringing)
today is a loud day.

I don't think it's possible to measure tinnitus since it is a perception thing, (what your brain processes as sound) rather than something more objective (actual sound waves entering the ear canal). Probably it would be similar to how pain is measured, with self-reportage.

well don't tell me I can turn it off cause I have no control. (manaries) sp

Meniere's. I've got problems with the same thing, husker. It's come a long way from being thought of as being a form of hysteria (about 10 years ago).

Kuvasz
Wylie's most readable treatise on religion is "An Essay on Morals." Bertrand Russell also gave me much ammo.

I stumbled on this thread, but I would like everyone here to know, that I have benefitted from it. Thank you.

truth
Max, I for one buy Kuvasz' wonderful story and particularly its political implications. Tell me, I'm curious, why have you chosen a picture of an arch-liberal as your avatar?

truth
I've enjoyed these well written and moving stories by EXTRAordinary people.

JL: Ha ha ha ha!!

Politics isn't everything, you know!!

Both max and maximom are convinced that it is a picture of me...

....that's why.

Max, What???????????????

YES this is so true

I used to worry about other peoples opinions or perceptions of me and totally lacked confidence. I think having children - and being the one they needed to depend on to be 'there' for them first gave me more confidence. I was determined to do my best to bring them up to be independent balanced and happy - I have very critical parents, who loved me dearly but i didn't always know it because of the high standards demanded and the criticism - I wanted my children to have more freedom of thought. I made plenty of mistakes but we have a good relationship and they've done well, are independent and happy - they are what i am most proud of in my life.

They have always been supportive of me - when i went back to university when they were growing up, they pushed and encouraged me if I was down - my husband was inclined to say 'pack it in if it's stressing you like this' - NOT the right response! Doing the art degree was another defining time, lt led on to so many opportunities and friendships.

These are very ordinary things compared with the dramatic stories of others.

Babs you are amazing.

There are some closets which should remain firmly closed

Husker, I used to get tinnitus off and on.

In my case, metabolism changes throughout the day seemed to effect it. Also, with certain medications. Occasionally I could pause, twist my head just a little and start it up, nice and loud, by suddenly changing my mood or thought patterns.

I've read a few things that relate it to blood-sugar levels. Adult-onset diabetes has been growing quite a bit -- perhaps a minor form of sugar disruption is causing tinnitus.

Does it vary by time of day, eating candy, state of mind, or anything?

My closet remains permanently half-open....too much laundry

CodeBorg, if you have a history of adult-onset diabetes, you should be avoiding sugar, white flour, and most starchy foods. You should concentrate on healthy, low-fat proteins, lots of vegetables, but sugary ones such as beets, peas and carrots in moderation. Small amounts of complex carbohydrates are okay, but again, in moderation. Avoid anything manufactured, and read labels closely for sugar/carb content. My mother-in-law has and my grandmother had adult-onset diabetes, and this was the advice given to them by their doctors.

I should add, don't let yourself get hungry....eat 3 small meals and at least 2 healthy snacks through the day to keep your metabolism up.