how can I say goodbye??

Research "Astral Projection". It may take a year or two, though.

Spiritism?


Maybe that's not the kind of thing you had in mind.

Whatever you do, it helps to be clear on what you believe in. The clearer your impression is of this, the easier it will be to find the reconciliation you need. Because it will have to come from within you, in the form of memories and thoughts. Sound to me as if you're on the verge of a spiritual quest, unless you were actually referring to astral projection and spiritism and such.
If you are I wish you good luck, and if not, well then good luck just the same.

Spiritism?


Maybe that's not the kind of thing you had in mind.

Whatever you do, it helps to be clear on what you believe in. The clearer your impression is of this, the easier it will be to find the reconciliation you need. Because it will have to come from within you, in the form of memories and thoughts. Sound to me as if you're on the verge of a spiritual quest, unless you were actually referring to astral projection and spiritism and such.
If you are I wish you good luck, and if not, well then good luck just the same.

Clemence - do you have anything of hers? Could your parents get something of hers for you? Sometimes having a little piece of a loved one's life can help when you experience this sort of feeling.

Rather than saying "goodbye," why not say "hello."

Put together a small memorial containing all the memories and symbols, smells, colors pictures and other things that evoke those memories. Research her life with relatives and learn something new about her that you didn't know before. Write a letter to her with all the things you have said or wanted to say. Tell her about each of the items in your memorial box and why you chose each item. Find out what her favorite flower was and plant one in your garden in her memory.

When the time is right, pack it all into a special container to store away for future needed remembrances when you need to say "hello" again.

Wonderful response Butrflynet. That's kinda what I was going to say.

You could let her story "live" again by researching her life, and maybe writing it all down as a story. In particular, see how far back you can go with her (your) genealogy, so you can get a sense of her place in the endless chain of people who ultimately led to your own existence.

Very nice, both Butrflynet and Eorl.

For something to do immediately -- Can you think of some outdoor place that is somehow connected to her, or that you associate with her? A park, a country road, even the cemetary? If so, on a nice day get a marker and a helium filled balloon. Write a message to her. Take it to the special place, fill yourself with thoughts of her and let it go.

In some religions a lit candle is used to symbolism the person who is not there. Light a candle while you think of her and tell it your thoughts.

You could also write her a letter as if she was just in another place and instead of mailing it you can burn it and imagine the message traveling in the smoke to wherever she is.

Often people plant trees in memory of loved one and that becomes a symbol and place to go to think about them.

The best thing might be to do something nice for some other older person in honor of her memory.

forgive yourself
Hi, How can you say goodbye to a relative? I thing , in order for you say
goodbye in your case, first you must forgive yourself for not be there or even talk to your grand ma before she died. Try to look very deep inside of you and you will find the courage just to acept the she pass away.

I never said goodbye to my grandmother either. And I never will. Her presence is in my heart everyday and I treasure each memory and each moment I spent with her. She passed on knowing that she had raised a crop of worthy, loving grandchildren and she got to see her first great grandchild (my oldest boy) born before she passed. We continue to celebrate her life. Is she missed? Yes, but to continue to mourn her would be to denigrate and lessen all the love and joy she brought into our lives, as though to say only her physical presence could validate those feelings.

Cherish the love and hold tight to the memories. Become the person she would want you to be. THAT'S the greatest monument and tribute you can build. And you'll never have to say "goodbye." Just "thanks."

Blacksmithn has said what I tried to formulate the words to say in a similar manner. He has said it better.