I have only a month to live, 27 days actually.

As it so happens, I speak fluent Zthatzne (and as Joe knows, I am even better at writing.)

So, Joe and Gus, could either of you use an intermediary? If I sit outside in the sun for, oh, two hours, I will be just as pink as OiOI and Zju-Jzu.

BTW, your anthropologist friend has his languages mixed up, Joe. But he was close. " " is the Rogotwanese (Rogotwanee is a neighboring island) translation. In Zthatzne, "Zeuzu chiku!?" means "send us a blonde."


E(and I love shrimp too)va

Now Eva, remember we discussed never revealing your "past adventures in native living" and the advice your dermatologist gave regarding your penchant for going "Eve" amongst the islanders. I recall that time you nearly gave that whole convention of Doctors Without Borders mass cardiac arrests with that rendition of "Midnight at the Oasis." Where was that? I forget.

I have twenty-five days left as of midnight so I am using the time well. I am rolling all the loose change I found in my sock drawer, (I just took all my socks down to the Goodwill.), and lo, and behold, I found a 1909 VBD S Lincoln Penny. I have always wanted one of them.

It would be nice if some of you could come with Eva to the Isla, we could slurp down some coconut Rum and watch the hurricane approach. Did I mention that the oldest of the woman Pyppe has forecast that the day after I am stoned to death the island will be struck by a vicious storm and everyone will be killed? So ya'll could watch the festivities (there's supposed to be a lot of drumming and incense and Shrimp, shrimp and more shrimp,) and then skedaddle before the waves cover everything and everyone.

I think it's wonderful that you all are going to give Gus the two billion, he deserves it, but I think it's too late. I'm not being fatalistic, I just have never been invited to be the guest of honor at anything and this might be my last chance. Thanks though.

I've also been sitting out on my roof trying to get pinker but so far it's been mostly cloudy here in New York.

Joe(I put the 1909 penny in a dime roll, someone else should have it)Nation

Joe(inthemoney)Nation, You should sell that roll of dimes on eBay. You'll bring untold happiness to one survivor on this planet.

There is a lesson here somewhere in the story of the penny, Joe. The mere penny. Something so meagre that in stores such as mine there is a little tray that says something like "Take 'em or leave 'em." More people leave them than take them. And someone once calculated that if you see a penny on the sidewalk, and you make $20 an hour, the cost of stopping and bending over and picking it up and straightening up again just isn't worth it.
You, Joe, are kind of like a penny on the sidewalk. We see you. We know you have some value, but to many of us, picking you up is not worth the time. Sorry to you, and to the people in Sudan or wherever.

By the way, VDB was Victor D Brenner who designed the Lincoln penny. He had the audacity to put his initials on his artwork in 1909. The mints in Philly and San Fran produced some of these before the dies were changed to eliminate his initials.

Ha, ha. Wasn't that an amusing response to a trivial thread. Sorry.

What's that? I can't hear you, the blender is full of Caipirinha.

Urp.

Joe(pass the wedges)Nation

Speaking of pennies in stores, realjohnnyboy, my brother and I were in a small town one time and as we were paying for our purchases at a small store my brother noticed the tray, filled with pennies, and a sign which read, "Free".

"Cool" he said, as he poured the contents into his shirt pocket and walked out the door.

I had a very similar experience myself one time, Gus. I had gone into a grocery store up in New Hampshire to buy a sixpack of some cheap beer. I didn't have very much cash -- all loose change, couple of bucks worth -- so I was looking for really cheap beer. Well, it turned out, I was something like 75 cents short of the price for the cheapest beer they had. No problem. There was more than a dollar's worth of copper coins in that penny tray so I just helped myself to the difference. But I left what I didn't need at the moment. I'm very virtuous that way.

Oh, I am so excited to be going with you, Joe! I've been waiting for an excursion just like this. You see, when the Planet Hollywood that was supposed to be built in Tulsa decided to locate in Dallas instead, they auctioned off some memorabilia they had planned to display here. I got Tina Louise's steamer trunk from "Gilligan's Island" for $65...gowns and all!!!

Now, my question is this. Which would be more proper attire for an execution, the copper silk satin or the white strapless?

Hmmm. I wonder what Pyppe will wear?


E(haven't seen her in ages)va

Pennies are worthless today as currency. It costs more to make them than the value they are supposed to convey. It costs the stores and banks more money than they are worth to keep track of them.

Whichever goes better with feathers.

Oh, and we'll need a couple of pennies for my eyes.

Joe(I've asked for the burning Viking boat internment. A showman to the last)Nation

I don't think that being wanted for fraud in the US will prevent your impending doom. Karma, Joe. Remember the karma.

Ah, yes. Feathers. But, what color feathers? Perhaps I should go with the white, it will work with any colors. Or is white just for virgins? I wouldn't want to give the Zthatzne any ideas about sacrificing, you know, since they'll be in the mood for killing anyway. (Sorry.)

Not just any old pennies will do for this momentous occasion, Joe. The 1909 VDB sounds important enough, but we'll need two. Let me look through my coin collection.

Do OiOI and Zju-Jzu know how to build a Viking ship? They'll need plans. It's a terribly ambitious project for 25 days. (I am assuming you don't want to have one brought in from elsewhere and risk further culture contamination.)


E(the copper silk satin would clash with my sunburn anyway)va

I was being lyrical. So far as I know what I get is three palm logs lashed together and rubbed down with a combination of fatty fish guts.

No fraud intended in putting the 1909 Penny in with the dimes, it's worth about $400.00 .

The tribe reports that they are all pretty bummed about the future. Two of the older women and one of the younger have gone off somewhere, no one knows exactly where.

I started to pack today and then I thought "Pack?"

Joe(I'm bringing a swimsuit and my toothbrush.)Nation

I used to hunt for the one copper 1943 penny. Mebbe that was just a hearsay thing.

Have you packed binoculars for the bird watching?

Nope.

Getting ready, practicing my bow of surrender, looking forward to having it all be over.

24 days to go.

Joe(I got a great deal on a half-gallon of sunscreen)Nation

You should experience something that you've never experienced before your time is up. May I suggest cannibalism? Necrophilia? Peach-flavored vodka?

Ugh! Phew! <GAG>

Well, if it were me, that would definitely be a deal-breaker right there.


E(peach-flavored vodka is overrated)va

Okay. So they moved me into a secure wing at Bellevue. My family's lawyers are sharper than I thought, and Mr. Ronaldo Peterson, the night supervisor, happens to be a real friend of mine, so here I am on his computer in the dead of night.

The dead of night.

That's a real poetic string.

They keep asking why I would want to shuffle off this mortal coil -No, they do not put it that way-, they keep asking why I would let myself be executed.

I told them because there are things in the world like peach-flavored vodka.


Joe(Ptooey)Nation

Secure wing in a mental institution, eh? Joe, having known you a few years now, I can honestly say that you're finally in the right place.

Not to worry about me not making the trip South.

Tonight I climb down from the roof, walk to Port Authority and take a bus to Matamoras.

OiOi reports they have enough shrimp.



Joe(I think flying is dangerous)Nation