I have only a month to live, 27 days actually.

gustavratzenhofer wrote:

What part of my post did you not understand, BBB?

I thought I stated quite clearly that Joe's life is of little importance to me.

No birds will be headed in your direction any time soon.

I know you better than that, Gus. The right amount of negotiable currency (Euros? £s sterling? Swiss Franks? Krugerands? Gold ingots?) will turn your head.

BBB, we'll start a fund drive. No matter what Gus asks for, we can raise it!!!

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Gus

gustavratzenhofer wrote:

What part of my post did you not understand, BBB?
I thought I stated quite clearly that Joe's life is of little importance to me.
No birds will be headed in your direction any time soon.

If I offered one incredibly sexy night of love, would you send me the birds?

BBB

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I guess I didn't realize the importance you people put on Joe's life.

Ok. Two birds. No more.

And I will be asking 20 billion dollars for the pair. And a pair of reeboks.

Non-negotiable.

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Re: Gus

BumbleBeeBoogie wrote:

gustavratzenhofer wrote:
What part of my post did you not understand, BBB?
I thought I stated quite clearly that Joe's life is of little importance to me.
No birds will be headed in your direction any time soon.

If I offered one incredibly sexy night of love, would you send me the birds?

BBB

I had to weigh your offer of love against my demand for 20 billion dollars, BBB, and while your offer is generous, I'm gonna have to opt for the cash

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Re: Gus

gustavratzenhofer wrote:

BumbleBeeBoogie wrote:
gustavratzenhofer wrote:
What part of my post did you not understand, BBB?
I thought I stated quite clearly that Joe's life is of little importance to me.
No birds will be headed in your direction any time soon.

If I offered one incredibly sexy night of love, would you send me the birds?

BBB

I had to weigh your offer of love against my demand for 20 billion dollars, BBB, and while your offer is generous, I'm gonna have to opt for the cash

So it's not a deal breaker if there are no Reeboks?

It just struck me that perhpas, as a way of remembering Joe, we could take an insurance policy out on him before he discharges his duties... what do y'all think?

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OK. The $20 billion is no problem. I'm sure we can raise that before the end of the month. But, let's talk about those Reeboks, Gus. How firm is that demand?

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Re: Gus

Quote:

Dudes, like what a totally awesome idea. . We could put in like $5.00 each and then when this guy-I forget his name- gets offed we'd get the insurance and we could buy a whole bunch of lottery tickets?
I don't have $5.00 but I might be able to get it. This is so cool!

(ps: johnboy is closing in on his 2500th post. I am glad this wasn't it)

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So the legend of the Creepy White Nightcrawler is true!!

The tale was one told to me the night of my capture.
It seems that 25 baphats ago, that's about twenty-six years, there had plenty of Xozyeoni-woohoo on the island, sixteen pairs of them all of whom molted very efficiently keeping everyone dressed in beautiful feathers. But one night, Shono-zaugway, the aforementioned native of indeterminate sexuality, reported she, er, he had had a dream. In that dream, he says, a white white creature with a er large white nightcrawler crept into his hut and ravaged her/him until dawn.

As the sun rose and the tribe members looked around they saw that all but one of their precious birds were gone. They were devastated but they smoked up several pipes of special medication and decided to wait until the next white creature washed up on their shores.

It was a long wait but I floated over.

The Zthatzne were pretty sure that if I were let go I would lead them to the White Nightcrawler. (They also think there are only about 100 white people in the world.)

We have been secretly trading messages by homing seagulls.

The two Zthatzne warriors are on the way to the swamp.

Joe(So is Shono-zaugway, kiss her once for me)Nation

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Gus
Gus, your refusal to accept my passionate night of love has crushed me. I'm heart broken. I have nothing to live for. Gus has so broken my spirit that I can no longer think of trying to save Joe's life.

At this moment, I'm standing on top of a high cliff above the ocean. I'm sobbing my heart out before I jump to my death to end my misery.

Goodby cruel world.

BBB Crying or Very sad

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Are those reeboks on your feet, BBB?

You're not going to jump until you take your shoes off, are you?

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Gus

gustavratzenhofer wrote:

Are those reeboks on your feet, BBB?
You're not going to jump until you take your shoes off, are you?

Gus, how can you be so greedy that you would not save a maiden's life?
I will remove my reeboks, but I must advise you that they are a dainty size 5, much too small for your feet.

BBB Shocked

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Maybe, he's thinking of wearing them on his ears. Should fit nicely!

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Chaplin, what in the hell are you talking about?

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Wait, wait, hold on a sec here. This is getting out of hand.

First of all, BBB, get the hell away from that cliff! That's an order. <hurrumph> And keep them runnin' shoes on, you might need them if there's any truth to Joe (we'regannamissyou) Nation's statement about the imminent invasion of the swamp.

Secondly, Gus, I'd round up the birds now, if I were you, and lock 'em up safely with the capybaras. Then get out the trusty old 12-guage and sit watch over your flocks. These folks seem to mean business.

And, third, and most important, Gus, you still haven't answered just how important the Reeboks® are to your end of the deal. The $20 billion is yours, in exchange for a mated pair, no questions asked. But can we make a deal on the shoes?

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Air (ear) shoes, gus.

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Here's the latest news: OiOI and Zju-Jzu, the two warriors, have returned to the island because OiOI ate all the shrimp. Now they will have to go shrimping for about a week to have enough for the trek.

(Did I mention that the Zthatzne are pink? I should have mentioned that.)

The Zthatzne are pink. Pink-skinned as baby piglets, pink as flamingos, I should say, and for the same reason I would guess. They eat mostly shrimp. About ninety per cent of what they eat is shrimp and they eat heads, eyes, shells and all. Alive, if possible, boiled if not. It's the colorant in the shells that gets transferred to their melanin and makes them practically glow in the dark fluorescent pink.

I messaged them about the birds Gus has and the money and the non-negotiable Reeboks. (I use pictographs as best I can.) I thought they would send me a long excited reply, but there was only this:

Zeuzu chiku!?

I didn't understand it so I sent it to an anthropologist friend of mine at NYU. He says as best he can figure it means:

Question

Joe(pink as a newborn white boy)Nation

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Well, uh, gee Joe...been nice knowing you. Have you signed your place over to anybody yet? Sorry if I seem so uncaring but killing off a poor helpless defenseless bird is just too much to deal with.

As to that last meal, might I recommend you get an extra large bag of Fritos and a 2 liter bottle of Dr.Pepper (diet of course).

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Merry
Merry Andrew, oooooh, I can't resist orders from an assertive strong man. My pretty pink reeboxs are tied tight on my dainty feet as I walk away from the cliff edge. Just in time because I see a fleet of canoes heading toward the cliffs. Someone please warn Gus because they are naked and seem to be holding spears. Are those feathers I see on their headbands? Ooooh, they are sooo cute. Oh my, they are such manly men. (pant pant.)

BBB

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Am I the only one that sees that the only possible choice of last meal is one of Gus' Xozyeoni-woohoos?

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26 and counting

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I have only a month to live, 27 days actually.

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