I have only a month to live, 27 days actually.

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I meant to post this earlier but I had to recover from a vicious kicking attack I received just after returning from the Isla Mujes, not to be confused with Isla Mujeres, which is how I got in trouble, not the kicking trouble, the trouble of being killed at the end of this month, or rather on the first of October.

Briefly, --I swear to all that is good and natural that this will be brief-- I went to a Yoga-Zen-Running Clinic last week in Mexico on the Isla Mujeres. Beautiful place, very restful, good drinks and that is how I ended up drifting six miles on a rubber floaty over to another island, Isla Mujes, only I didn't know it was another island, I just knew I was very hungry.

So when I saw the big multi-colored bird with the incredible plumage, roosting there on the beach, I clocked it with a chuck of coral. Turns out it was a sacred bird, the last Xozyeoni-woohoo in existence and the only source for the equally sacred feathers used to make the decorations for the especially sacred ceremonies that have brought peace and harmony to Isla Mujes for centuries. I found out it's the only island in the world never conquered by anyone. It's not owned by Mexico, it's it's own.

Anyway, the folks were not too happy about the clocking of their feather source and I admit it was probably a mistake to tell very upset people two things:
Nothing is sacred
and
Your bird was delicious.

Anyway, I've been sentenced to death. October 1st. I have to fly back down to Isla Mujeres and then paddle over to Isla Mujes where the High Holy Council has decreed that I should be stoned to death with coral. (They are very big on irony, wouldn't you say?)

It's only right. It is their island and it was their bird, sacred or otherwise and they were very decent about letting me return to the USA to get my affairs in order.

My question is what shall I have for my last meal? This whole idea of dying, of seeing things and hearing things and feeling things has been an interesting experience to say the least, even getting kicked several times in the groin brought new insights, but right now I am torn between Steak and Lobster with a really good red wine or exploring a bit with a wondrous combination of Chivo and Pork medallions with a sweetened reduction over risotto. I had that the first night of the clinic and think it would be fitting especially with about six margaritas.

(I have lost my desire for any kind of poultry.)

Any thoughts?

Joe(It's true. What goes around... .)Nation

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I always knew your ornithophilia would kill you....

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Many would like to go out stoned.

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I think Joe needs to quit posting when he's stoned.

Laughing

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What the hell, go for the deluxe;

http://210.150.210.150/wavybaby/shopping/supermarket_files/kraft_macaroni_cheese.jpg

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If i only had a few months to live i wouldnt waste my time on a forum.

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material girl wrote:

If i only had a few months to live i wouldnt waste my time on a forum.

That's what my lawyer said, but he doesn't know much. For example, he says I don't really have to go back and be executed. See, he doesn't know, he didn't see the faces on those people when they saw the last of the Xozyeoni-woohoo twirling around on that spit over the driftwood fire.

They saw the last of their civilization.

I find out now that no one has even visited the island since 1611, that since then anthropologists have only observed the people there by telescope and glider overflights, that they are the last remaining intact remnant of the Maya.

Even the National Geographic had forbidden it's reporters and photographers from going there in fear of the outside influence changing things. Now, it was reported to me in a very angry phone call, one of the High Priest's daughters is flouncing around in my "I (Heart) New York" sweatshirt. I must have dropped it on the beach.

So I have to go back. It's all going to be very proper. Lots of drumming and chants and drinking of blood. (I won't be there for that part.) You don't often get to be the guest of honor at the end of a civilization. It's hard to pass up.

Of course, my family is being a bit reluctant, but I tell my wife to think of how much closet space she will be gaining and my son gets to send one less gift at Christmas. Benefits to all.

But more importantly: Surf and Turf? or will it be the exotic last meal? No one's ventured a thought.

Joe(I'm at sea)Nation

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How would they dispose of your (moment of silence) remains? Fed to the sharks, I bet.

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No, they have a dish that apparently tastes a lot like Chivo and Pork Medallions in a sweetened reduction. Shocked

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Arte they apt to send out invitations? It sounds awfully good.

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I am not looking forward to doing that six miles across open ocean to arrive at my execution all sweaty and disheveled. I would like to present a presentable self.

How good are you at paddling?

Joe

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Sorry about that. I can't be all disheveled for the dinner. Perhaps I might chute in.

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Last meals on Texas' death row never were haute cuisine, but for many Web browsers, they held a morbid fascination. For years, the details of executed killers' final repasts were the most popular feature of the Texas Department of Criminal Justice's official Web site. But now the menus -- posted for most of the 313 killers executed since 1982 -- are history, dropped from the newly redesigned Web site by an image-conscious agency stung by claims the site was tasteless and demeaning.

The one meal I found the most interesting was:

Chocolate birthday cake with "2/23/90" written on top, seven pink candles, one coconut, kiwi fruit juice, pineapple juice, one mango, grapes, lettuce, cottage cheese, peaches, one banana, one delicious apple, chef salad without meat and with thousand island dressing, fruit salad, cheese, and tomato slices

The complete list is at:
http://www.thememoryhole.org/deaths/texas-final-meals.htm

BBB

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Very tasty, but kind of vegan. I want some protein.

Chuting in... .

How you gonna get out?

Not that it will be any concern of mine.... .

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I will kill one of the local birds, make a glider with the feathers, and coast to the other island.

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Edgar

edgarblythe wrote:

I will kill one of the local birds, make a glider with the feathers, and coast to the other island.

Alert to Edgar. Remember the Icarus myth?

Greek Mythology. Icarus, the son of Daedalus who, in escaping from Crete on artificial wings made for him by his father, flew so close to the sun that the wax with which his wings were fastened melted, and he fell into the Aegean Sea.

BBB

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Good plan.

Uh.

The highest point on the island is a mound approx. 52 feet above sea level.

Joe(Best of luck)Nation

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It's true, my last post was unrealistic. I alter the plan to where I am just killing the bird. That way they will send me back, purportedly to get my affairs in order. Unlike Joe, I don't plan on returning.

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but, but, but, it's the only moral course.

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Joe

Joe Nation wrote:

but, but, but, it's the only moral course.

Moral, smoral. Don't you want to find out the results of the November elections?

BBB

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