Reply
Sat 2 Sep, 2006 05:25 am
Here's a really important and interesting true story that I want you to read.
I hope you are able to learn from this. I really, really do.
I was visited by aliens from another planet (the name of the planet is a bit hard to pronounce - something like 'Groicockg') and they told me much wisdom. They discussed the Earth and all of the people on the Earth. And they discussed philosophy.
They spoke to me in perfect English. And with a slightly odd Australian accent.
And I think they really had a good message. For me, for you, and us all.
They told me that they have been watching us Earthlings for centuries. Since about the (AD) 1200'sa to be more exact.
They said that they were 'disappointed' at our conduct on Earth. That we weren't wise. We apparently weren't good enough for them.
As you might be, I was skeptical of their message at first, but I listened just in case there was something in it for me. I in the end realised that they really did have a point, and that it was a truly good message that we could really learn from!
They told me that all nations on Earth should be in more conflict. Especially with North Korea. All other nations should wage war with North Korea. And when North Korea were nuked. We should move on to some other countries, such as Cuba.
China is to be converted to a system that they described to me in great detail, but what is basically Laissez Faire. The UN is to be abolished.
They gave me a pen and piece of paper to make notes on. They told me that they abhor all that is on the following list, and that you and everyone else on Earth (including me) were to agree to never be part of any of the things on this list.
They promised me that they would send more messages, and some actual instructions for us to follow soon. But this list would really help us for now.
The list (Things they hate, I hate, and you should hate, too):
1. Hidden agendas
2. Lies
3. Ulterior motives
4. Manipulative behavior
5. Disrespect for other people (excluding the homosexual)
6. Homosexuals (including women who are attracted to members of their own sex)
7. Theft (which includes pensions/welfare)
8. Sociopaths
9. People who hate other people
10. People who wont stop preaching their political views
11. People who seldom think for themselves.
12. Vegetarianism
13. Minimalism
14. Talking about other people
15. 'Backstabbing'
16. Intolerance for peoples freedom of thought, and people having other beliefs.
17. People who dislike the human race
18. People who dislike the aliens
19. People who wont follow aliens commands - that includes the commands of the second in command
20. Indirectness
21. Unassertiveness
22. So called 'Passive/Aggressive' behavior.
23. Not helping others in need
24. Being a 'dopleganger' (I forget how the aliens first described this to me - they didn't use that word)
What life is about:
I'm told that life is meant to be enjoyed. It's not good for people to be unhappy. All people are meant to settle down, marry, and have some children to look after and teach.
Failing that, you should buy some nice items like Hi-Fi systems and expensive home theatre equipment, and live it up. The aliens suggested such brands as 'Porche' as a nice way for people to be happy.
More messages are to come. I'm told that when I receive them I am to let others know as soon as possible!
Please pass all of this post on to all people, all over the internet, and to all of your friends and family. It is _your_ obligation!!
Enjoy, and have fun all Earthlings!
(psst ,,, the wind must have blown off your tin foil hat.)
hmmm yea i stop listen after aliens
Yes!
I comply!
Sign me up.
This is pretty basic stuff, i dont think we need extra terestrials to tell us stealing murder and lies are bad...this is just regualr crap that only speaks to start trek fans.
<off>
Chai Tea, whats up with your cheese chick, was there square always ther or did you add it.
[sigh]
We eagerly await your next missive.
Re: We can really learn from this
georgehanscampbell wrote:. . . I was skeptical of their message at first. . .
You don't say. . .
Are the alien so suppior that there race have never stole or done anything wrong. Why didnt they tell us earlier? They been watching us forever havent they? How could you be skeptical of there message? its pretty obvious.
And the most important question of all: Whats this have to do with spirituality and religion?
Re: We can really learn from this
georgehanscampbell wrote:19. People who wont follow aliens commands - that includes the commands of the second in command
Cheney is an alien?
Now why am I not surprised..
I shot the sheriff, but I did not shoot the deputy.
I shot the sheriff, but I did not shoot the deputy.
All around in my home town
Theyre trying to track me down.
They say they want to bring me in guilty
For the killing of a deputy,
For the life of a deputy.
But I say:
I shot the sheriff, but I swear it was in self-defense.
I shot the sheriff, and they say it is a capital offense.
Sheriff john brown always hated me;
For what I dont know.
Every time that I plant a seed
He said, kill it before it grows.
He said, kill it before it grows.
I say:
I shot the sheriff, but I swear it was in self-defense.
I shot the sheriff, but I swear it was in self-defense.
Freedom came my way one day
And I started out of town.
All of a sudden I see sheriff john brown
Aiming to shoot me down.
So I shot, I shot him down.
I say:
I shot the sheriff, but I did not shoot the deputy.
I shot the sheriff, but I did not shoot the deputy.
Reflexes got the better of me
And what is to be must be.
Every day the bucket goes to the well,
But one day the bottom will drop out,
Yes, one day the bottom will drop out.
But I say:
I shot the sheriff, but I did not shoot the deputy, oh no.
I shot the sheriff, but I did not shoot the deputy, oh no.
Re: We can really learn from this
My aliens told me that your aliens suck.
Not to mention that they're a wee bit confused:
georgehanscampbell wrote:
The list (Things they hate, I hate, and you should hate, too):
6. Homosexuals (including women who are attracted to members of their own sex)
9. People who hate other people
These are the ones that I especially like:
5. Disrespect for other people (excluding the homosexual)
6. Homosexuals (including women who are attracted to members of their own sex)
9. People who hate other people
12. Vegetarianism
16. Intolerance for peoples freedom of thought, and people having other beliefs.
17. People who dislike the human race
18. People who dislike the aliens
23. Not helping others in need
24. Being a 'dopleganger' (I forget how the aliens first described this to me - they didn't use that word)
Kinda contradict themselves, those aliens, don't they?
They would hate me anyway, as I am a doppelganger.
x
Hope you are not a vegetarian, disrespectful homosexual as well, as then I would have to hate you. The Aliens said so...
Must obey
Must obey
Must obey
I'm easily lead, I really am!
x
EpiNirvana wrote:This is pretty basic stuff, i dont think we need extra terestrials to tell us stealing murder and lies are bad...this is just regualr crap that only speaks to start trek fans.
<off>
Chai Tea, whats up with your cheese chick, was there square always ther or did you add it.
Chai has modestly chosen to edit her real image:
Clearly a supporter of the Arse and Kraft.
I just feel like so totally alienated, I may need to shoot someone today just to see them die.
ME MUST BUY CHEESE! ME MUST BUY CHEESE NOW!
EpiNirvana wrote:ME MUST BUY CHEESE! ME MUST BUY CHEESE NOW!
Ah, see, the vague, subtle subliminal message works...
Stumble It!
Tweet This
Bookmark on Delicious
Share on Facebook
Share on MySpace