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Tue 18 Jul, 2006 06:09 pm
Ok, everybody. I think it's time we faced facts. I was hoping to keep this from Gus, but....it looks like we've......we've.......lost Kickycan!!!
He's got to be around here somewhere, we've just got to remember where we put him!!! So who had him last?
For my part, I've been racking my brains, trying to figure out, "If I were a Kickycan, where would I be?"
And I came up with the following list:
1) Bars
2) Strip Joints
3) Italian Restaurants
That's as far as I got.
So who wants to volunteer to search all the strip joints in NYC? I'm willing to search the Italian restaurants. Even if I have to gain fitty pounds! (I hope Kicky appreciates the sacrifices I'm making....smacking lips..)
C'mon, everybody!! I need volunteers!! We can think of this thread as Kickycan Central. Anybody with any info, please post it here!
For all we know, Kicky could be lying in an alley somewhere. He might be hurt! Or drunk.....
If all else fails, we may have to contact the NYPD. We could tell them to be on the lookout for an Italian guy who's probably drinking beer and eating pizza.
That should narrow it down to about ......ummmm.......500,000 guys in NYC!
Anybody else got any ideas?
Could he be trapped in a Murphy bed?
I think I saw him peeping in my bedroom window last night, by the light of a ferocious storm. Or maybe it was Slappy.
I have it on good authority that Kicky has been here the whole time..... posting as his alias BernardR......
He apparently has found some job satisfaction and is getting laid - thus he no longer needs us.
Quote:He apparently has found some job satisfaction and is getting laid - thus he no longer needs us.
Greenwitch, that sounds a little farfetched. But it's an interesting theory, and we have to consider all possibilites.
Personally, I think the "trapped in a murphy bed" might be worth investigating.
Quote:He apparently has found some job satisfaction and is getting laid
The chances of getting struck by lighting are about 1 in 700, 000. There being about that same number of lousy jobs and easy lays in NYC, I'd say the boy has about an even chance at succeeding at both.
Unless he buys a lottery ticket.
Joe
I miss him. I'm not worried at all (choice A), and potentially very worried (choice B). Hope he's ok. If he is ok, no more fresh mozzarella...
Maybe we should list our theories in order of probabilty:
Most likely:
1) passed out in a bar
2) passed out under a stripper
3) trapped in a murphy bed
4) ran afoul of the mob and is currently in the trunk of a mob guy's car
Least likely:
1) being held hostage by terrorists
2) abducted by extra-terrestrials
3) found job satisfaction and is getting laid
Maybe his new copy of Penthouse just arrived? Give him a week or two.
Has anyone sent him a PM?
Does anyone have an article of Kicky clothing we could give to the search dogs?
Well, I for one hope he surfaces soon. This place just isn't the same without his whining.
:wink:
I know!
Why don't Lola, Bernie, Frank & Joe contact him with an invite to another session at the Frying Pan? Surely one of them knows how to get ahold of him. Maybe he'll tell them what's going on.
(Psst...Stray Cat, you forgot one other distinct possibility. He may have been arrested for peeping at his curtainless teenage nymphette neighbor. What kinda time would he hafta do for that in NYC, I wonder? I hate to think of the Kickster in jail, but it does seem more likely than him finding job satisfaction and getting laid.)
Maybe Aretha Franklin mistook him for a deep fried Snickers bar.
I've been asking around town if anyone has seen kickycan but, unfortunately, most people have never heard of him. They say, "Who the hell is Kickycan?"
So now I've been carrying his photo around and showing that to people, but I would have better luck, I'm sure, if I had a current photo.
All I have is his yearbook photo....
Does anyone have a current photo of the kickman?
Quote:He may have been arrested for peeping at his curtainless teenage nymphette neighbor. What kinda time would he hafta do for that in NYC, I wonder? I hate to think of the Kickster in jail, but it does seem more likely than him finding job satisfaction and getting laid.)
Do convicts get any computer access? If so, I think Kicky would've posted something from prison.
He'd do threads like, "The Food Here Sucks," "The Warden is an As*hole," and "I Hate This Gay Striped Suit."
Or he would have asked for advice.... like "Should I Get A Lawyer?"
gustavratzenhofer wrote:Does anyone have a current photo of the kickman?
I believe this one was taken in March:
Yeah, Gus, we need some piccys of Kicky. We could blow them up and make "Missing" posters with them.
I bet they'd blow up reeeeaal gooooood.
Thanks, Slappy, that will help.
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