experimental marriage

By experimental marriage, do you mean living together before you're married?

If so, I'm against it. Why experiment, when you can do the "real" thing. It's better for any babies that should arrive too.

I would like to point out that a couple can have children and love them and yadda yadda yadda without ever being married. The fact that the couple is not married does not make them lesser parents. It is important for children that both parents be in their life, not that they be married or even live in the same house.

ALL marriages are experimental and remain so for as long as they last.

This is something that's kinda of been bothering my thoughts lately, though it leans more towards marriage in general.

It's sad that nowadays every young married couple seems to be getting divorced now.

What could be a reason for this?


This should perhaps be a new thread, but maybe not. Either way, what's up with the divorces so often nowadays?

Experimental marriages are practiced in some countries, they even recognize it in their laws.

What makes experimental marriages good or bad anyway?

Is there any basis that is cultural/sociological in answering the validity of experimental marriages?

How do we value marriage?............(not as individuals who are married but how do view it as a society)

I get the impression that couples get married thinking they will 'give it a go', if they dont like it thay can get divorced.

This makes me sick.

Its like couples get together think a fairytale wedding will make the rest of their lives magical then they have a couple fo kids, reliase they dont want to spend the rest of their lives with the person they married, get divorced then spend the rest of their lives looking for th person they really want to be with, whilst being bitter with their ex and heaving the kids too and fro to each others houses.

Very odd.

Well I would like to know exactly what "experimental marriage" is. I honestly have never heard that term before. How can you experiment with marriage really? It seems to me that to "experiment" with it implies that you are not going into it taking it serious. So quite possibly you aren't going to really "lay yourself on the line" so to speak... after all... it's just an experiment right? So if it doesn't work out, maybe you'll just try this "experiment" with someone else. Or if you do actually "lay yourself out there" you are just setting yourself up to be hurt in the end because the other person may not be looking at it the same way as you.

I use to be majorly against divorce. Much like you material girl. Though having now been in a bad marriage I've had to redefine a few things for myself. Mostly because I understand divorce from a different angle now. A more personal angle. When I had never been married divorce looked a lot different to me. Honestly speaking from the very judgemental view I held about it, it looked like most people just had this ideal that marriage was disposable. If it doesn't work, oh well, there's plenty more fish in the sea. Eh?

I still agree that sometimes people go into marriage with a fairy tale idea of the whole thing and then when it's not like they thought they get divorced. That is sad when that happens. They just totally wasted each others time if you really think about it. I think that sometimes people don't really understand just how much "work" marriage really is. You won't always agree on everything. You won't always see their pretty side. You won't always like the things the other person does. You won't always want sex at the same time, to spend your money on the same things, and so forth. Yet, if you can communicate openly with each other I still believe you can overcome a lot of that jargon.

Just like any relationship it's a two way street. Both people have to be willing to take responsibility for their actions, words, etc... and communicate and problem solve together. Both people have to realize that just because this person may be "perfect for you" doesn't mean they are a perfect person. So, you've can't withdraw your love just because they have faults. It's a hard adjustment for some people to go from being independent to sharing thoughts and decisions with someone else. I am one of those people. I spent the first couple of months after my husband and I separated feeling like a complete failure because I couldn't make it work. Holding on, and hoping that somehow we could work things out. Somehow he'd be willing to at least try to work things out. I can't even begin to describe what a huge disappointment this whole thing has been to me.

Then add in my old "view" of divorce and you've got quite a concoction. Add in the standards that I had set for myself concerning marriage and you've got someone who could do nothing else for awhile but feel like a complete failure because I couldn't even meet my own standards. That's why I said that I had to redefine a few things. I had to take on a new perspective. I had to come to the place of realizing, not just by thinking about it, but through the reality of the situation I am in truly come to terms with the fact that even I had a bit of a false concept about marriage. I believed that when he said those vows he really understood and meant them. I believed that when he said a lot of things he said before we got married they were honest, true, and from his heart.

I believed he would fulfill the promises he made because at the very least he had made a commitment before "God" which I thought really meant something coming from a "christian" man. Words are worthless though if there's no follow through with actions. I still don't view marriage as disposable. However, now I see and understand with crystal clarity that you can only hang on for so long before you have to draw a line, say "enough", and go on with your life. Sometimes that's the only option someone is given based on the circumstances of the relationship, which looking at it from the outside we don't always know.