Jehovah's Witnesses on Buddhism

Speaking as a parent, it is her home and she can darn well tell you what you can or cannot bring into her home. You have two choices, obey her rules or move out on your own. Since you are only 16, I guess that leaves you little choice but to honor her wishes.

Doing so does not mean you have to abandon your wish to follow buddhism, you just cannot bring the stuff into her home. While this seems unfair to you, she has a right to keep things out of her home that she disagrees with.

Furthermore, as far as I can remember, Buddhists don't really need those statutes. It is not a vital part of being a Buddhist, just like it's not necessary for you to have statues of the Saints in your house if you want to be a Catholic Christian.

If you have to get rid of them, sell them.

She is taking an unreasonable tack, but it IS her home. As others have pointed out, you don't need a statue to be a good Buddhist. Remember, as Buddha said:

"The world, indeed, is like a dream and the treasures of the world are an alluring mirage! Like the apparent distances in a picture, things have no reality in themselves, but they are like heat haze."

i know what you mean, ive gone through that too, politley ask her to keep the statues and that it is important to you, if she still says no get rid of them but maintain your buddism. You dont tell her to take down crosses b/c your buddist, but she is your boss so just do it.

Here is some advice from an old Buddhist.

If the Buddhist statues cause anyone to suffer in the household, then get rid of them. Buddhism is about mitigating suffering, not about veneration of Buddhist images, or even veneration of the Buddha himself. Buddhism is concerned with self-discipline. To follow the Middle-Way, you should be concerned the effect your own thoughts, words and actions have.

In your Mother's belief system, the Buddhist images are idolatry. Her concern is not jut a matter of how prominent the images are, but that her beloved child will go to hell. This naturally causes her suffering. By eliminating the proximate cause of her suffering, you are not compromised nor will you suffer as a direct consequence. Your Mother will suffer to some extent at any overt evidence that your religious direction doesn't follow her own. If it makes her happy, attend her religious services with her.

This does not mean that you have to forsake Buddhism. Sit in daily meditation, and if it pleases your Mother, let it be called prayer. When you walk from one place to another, or are engaged in some work, pay full attention to what you are doing; that's Buddhist meditation as well. Keep a Bible handy for your Mother's sake, but read any of the many fine books dealing with Buddhist fundamentals. Don't just read about what makes for good Buddhist practice and behavior, you have to live it every minute of every day. Good meditation and practice should make your life easier, and with less suffering. Rooting out your own faults and improving your life is a powerful sermon to those around you. Preach by doing, not speaking.

Buddhism isn't so much about the future, or goals; its about living every moment to its fullest. The past is irretrievably gone, and the future never arrives. You have THIS moment and no other. You will suffer, or mitigate suffering now, or never. Focus! Be Compassionate! Pay Attention!

Please keep us appraised of what happens. If you run into difficulties, you have a place here where you can talk freely. There are a number of Buddhists on this site.

But..
Well of course she has every right to dictate what goes into her home, but this doesn't really affect her so I don't see that there is any need.

The Buddhas aren't necessary to one's participation in Buddhism, but they do help to remind ME of it, personally. As an adolescent, I am still forming my identity and my morals, deciding on the direction of my life; these statues help to solidify my beliefs and perhaps even keep me a little more grounded than if they weren't there.

I also undrstand that materialism and placing high importance on objects sort of defies the philosophy of Buddhism, but I'm not Buddhist yet, and I just need them there to create an ambiance of spirituality and being a good person.

I would like to think that a parent would support this, even though I'm already a good kid and she knows it

..Or something.

I don't know..I just don't get the vibe that she's not concerned about me going to hell or following the wrong path, but moreso that she wants me to comform to her liking and not stray too far from her. She only claims that they are a "direct oppostion to God," and not an opposition or offensive to her personally.

This is irritating. This doesn't seem to be about her suffering as much as it does controlling what I do and think.

I want my freedom of opinion and religion! I want to have things that make me comfortable, and make me forget about the anxieties I have concerning regular ordinary day-to-day life. It makes ethics and love seem far more important than looking fat, needing makeup, being stressed out, gossip, etc.

No belief or attitude can ever fully be comitted to unless you express it and embrace it..in my opinion. I need a visual reminder of Buddhism to inspire good character.

Have you tried a plain incense holder, instead?

Less concern about your "self", and more consideration for your parent.

Practice Buddhism ... quietly. Accept that your Mother's belief system is important to her, even if it makes no sense to you at all. Her suffering is made manifest by her insistence that your behavior conform to what she believes is necessary to enter Heaven ... a condition absolutely antithetical to suffering, the very state that Buddhism aims for in different terms.

Be patient. That's hard when one is sixteen and struggling to build a personal life of their own, but it can be done.

But..
But socially and psychologically speaking, is it not irresponsibe for her to enforce such control upon me!?

I already have issues with being independent and decisive, being my own person, etc., as a direct result of this pattern of control. I'm certain of it.

Knowing the dynamic between me and my mother would lead anyone to understand the way in which this lack of freedom has hindered my healthy growth into adulthood.

Now maybe I'm being biased, because I study psychology in school and on my own time, but there are psychological stages of development in which a child should form their sense of autonomy, initiative, industriousness, and identity. If a hinderance is proposed at any of these stages, the opposite of each may result; doubt, guilt, inferiority and identity confusion. With this, problems will arise, whether it is immediately or in a future stage of development.

Mind you, this Buddha ornament situation is small and seems somewhat trivial, but it truly represents much more in the grander scheme of things. It's like a confirmation of her control over me, and my lack of independence. This is clear to me and most likely my sub-conscious self.

I kind of resent this, not only being the anti-authority teenager that I am, but also because I have the insight into her motives and the detriment that they may propose on my later life.

Darn, eh? Well I guess perhaps my greater concern than a bunch of silly Buddha figurines is the lifestyle of my mother. To be slightly condesending to her and the JW people, she's either been brainwashed by a religious organization which is run by a commercial company and not so much spirituality, OR she's just being a poser and trying to establish an illusion of super-high morality and stubborness.

I'm willing to bet the latter is closer to the truth.
She's a VERY intelligent woman, who's always been one to 'go against the grain.'

Although I'm worried about the effect of all of this on her, but also myself. I wouldn't have a problem with JW-ism if it didn't reject so actively the norms of other people. Government, holidays, flags, homosexuality, tiny Buddha men!!! - they're all so attacked as if the JWs are superior to all of that.

Wow..I sound bitter. hehe.

And maybe a tad dramatic.

Sigh. Well anyway, I'm done venting.
Maybe I'll just make my 3-Buddha shrine at a friends house or in my locker at school..

Thanks for reading

One more thing..
Is it really the best to practise Buddhism quietly?

I don't want to offend people, but, philisophically, it's the least religious of all religions (apart from that whole deal on reincarnation). ..maybe that's why I JUST LOVE BUDDHISM.

It makes everything about being a good person, and extending this postivity others.

It's about love and understanding and spirituality and mindfulness and consideration.

Open mindedness, enlightenment and self-actualization.

Who could be so anti-buddhist?
I say yay for buddhism.


anyway..
PEACE TO THE WORLD & I LOVE BUDDHISM.
that's all.

Re: But..
We are all subject to some authority either by choice or by circumstance. It's a fact of life. And you are subject to the authority of your parents until you are old enough to be on your own. Your freedom will come soon enough. Most of us old geezers will think our own freedom came much too soon and long before we had enough sense to deserve it.

Dear justdontknow...

As mother of four grown kids who has traveled many introspective miles, I suggest you read and reread Asherman's comments, over time, attentively. I see such grace in his advice. (I'm no buddhist, but he made me want to learn about it and to thank him for his comments.)

In a few years you may/will be out on your own. Until then you could practice patience and empathy. Once you're spatially independent, if mother meddles, you might consider moving out of town until you find your own peace.

SallyM