great profit and happiness lie in worship

There she was, friends, lyin' there in all her radiant
beauty, eating on a raisin, grape, apricot, pomegranate,
bowl of chittlin's, two bananas, three Hershey bars,
sipping on a RC co-cola listenin' to her transistor,
watchin' the Grand Ole Opry on the tube, readin' a Mad
magazine while she sung, "Does your chewing gum lose
it's flavor?" Yeah, Ahab walked up to her and he say,
(imitate Arabic speech), which is Arabic for "Let's twist
again like we did last summer, baby.!!" Ha, ha, ha!!
You know what I mean! Whew! She looked up at him from off the rug,
give him one of the sly looks,
She said (suggestive giggles, then outright laughter) "Crazy, crazy, crazy baby!"

Quit talking about me, dys. I mean it!

You raise up your head
An' you ask "Is this where it is?''
An' somebody points to you
An' says, "It's his''
An' you say, "What's mine?''
An' somebody else says, "Where what is?''
An' you say, "Oh my god
Am i here all alone?''

Boomer, suck my toe.

Hey, you guys ever think of going to heckle church services? No, seriously - think about all the jollies you could get- sitting there interjecting little wisecracks in between the songs and prayers....

I really think you're missing out on a real source of entertainment that's right up your frikkin petty little alleys.

As I went out one morning
To breathe the air around Tom Paine's,
I spied the fairest damsel
That ever did walk in chains.
I offer'd her my hand,
She took me by the arm.
I knew that very instant,
She meant to do me harm.

"Depart from me this moment,"
I told her with my voice.
Said she, "But I don't wish to,"
Said I, "But you have no choice."
"I beg you, sir," she pleaded
From the corners of her mouth,
"I will secretly accept you
And together we'll fly south."

Just then Tom Paine, himself,
Came running from across the field,
Shouting at this lovely girl
And commanding her to yield.
And as she was letting go her grip,
Up Tom Paine did run,
"I'm sorry, sir," he said to me,
"I'm sorry for what she's done."

Hollis Brown
He lived on the outside of town
Hollis Brown
He lived on the outside of town
With his wife and five children
And his cabin fallin' down

You looked for work and money
And you walked a rugged mile
You looked for work and money
And you walked a rugged mile
Your children are so hungry
That they don't know how to smile

Your baby's eyes look crazy
They're a-tuggin' at your sleeve
Your baby's eyes look crazy
They're a-tuggin' at your sleeve
You walk the floor and wonder why
With every breath you breathe

The rats have got your flour
Bad blood it got your mare
The rats have got your flour
Bad blood it got your mare
If there's anyone that knows
Is there anyone that cares?

You prayed to the Lord above
Oh please send you a friend
You prayed to the Lord above
Oh please send you a friend
Your empty pockets tell yuh
That you ain't a-got no friend

Your babies are crying louder
It's pounding on your brain
Your babies are crying louder
It's pounding on your brain
Your wife's screams are stabbin' you
Like the dirty drivin' rain

Your grass it is turning black
There's no water in your well
Your grass is turning black
There's no water in your well
You spent your last lone dollar
On seven shotgun shells

Way out in the wilderness
A cold coyote calls
Way out in the wilderness
A cold coyote calls
Your eyes fix on the shotgun
That's hangin' on the wall

Your brain is a-bleedin'
And your legs can't seem to stand
Your brain is a-bleedin'
And your legs can't seem to stand
Your eyes fix on the shotgun
That you're holdin' in your hand

There's seven breezes a-blowin'
All around the cabin door
There's seven breezes a-blowin'
All around the cabin door
Seven shots ring out
Like the ocean's pounding roar

There's seven people dead
On a South Dakota farm
There's seven people dead
On a South Dakota farm
Somewhere in the distance
There's seven new people born

First tell me, what brand soap you use on your "toes". I don't want "toe jelly" in my mouth, thank you.

Calgon liquid bath soap. You're not Boomer!

That's for sure.
Just ask any televangelist or preacher at a major church. (perhaps as he is waxing his new cadillac)

Yes.. You touched very important point doctor S.. This is general problems of ages..

......''to receive alms and gifts in return for actions directed towards the hereafter, means consuming the eternal fruits of the hereafter in transitory form in this world.''...

I think people that u talk about can find only cadillac in the world... than nothing..

Your post is so strange..
You detailed people's general positions ..

Dear landlord,
Please don't put a price on my soul.
My burden is heavy,
My dreams are beyond control.
When that steamboat whistle blows,
I'm gonna give you all I got to give,
And I do hope you receive it well,
Dependin' on the way you feel that you live.

Dear landlord,
Please heed these words that I speak.
I know you've suffered much,
But in this you are not so unique.
All of us, at times, we might work too hard
To have it too fast and too much,
And anyone can fill his life up
With things he can see but he just cannot touch.

Dear landlord,
Please don't dismiss my case.
I'm not about to argue,
I'm not about to move to no other place.
Now, each of us has his own special gift
And you know this was meant to be true,
And if you don't underestimate me,
I won't underestimate you.

...''Innate Disposition Speaks the Truth

The innate disposition of things does not lie, whatever it says is the truth. The inclination to grow, the tongue of the seed, says: "I shall sprout and produce fruit..", and what it says is proved true.

The desire for life murmurs in the depths of the egg: "With Divine permission I shall be a chick." What it says is true.

If a handful of water intends to freeze inside an iron cannon-ball, when the temperature falls

The desire to expand within it says: "Expand! I need more space." This command cannot be gainsaid.

Strong iron strives, but cannot prove it wrong; the water's truthfulness and honesty split the iron.

All these inclinations are creational commands, Divine decrees. They are all natural laws, all manifestations of will.

Divine will directs all beings, in this way: all inclinations are a conforming to the dominical commands.

The manifestation in the conscience is the same; attraction and ecstasy are two polished souls,

Two burnished mirrors, within which are reflected Sempiternal Beauty, and the light of belief....'' BSN

When she said,
"Don't waste your words, they're just lies,"
I cried she was deaf.
And she worked on my face stood raking my eyes,
Then said, "What else you got left?"
It was then that I got up to leave
But she said, "Don't forget,
Everybody must give something back
For something they get."

I stood there and hummed,
I tapped on her drum I asked her how come.
She buttoned her boot,
And straightened her suit,
Then she said, "Don't get cute."
So I forced my hands in my pockets
And felt with my thumbs,
And gallantly handed her
My very last piece of gum.

She threw me outside,
I stood in the dirt where ev'ryone walked.
And after finding out I'd
Forgot my shirt,
I went back and knocked.
I waited in the hallway, she went to get it,
And I tried to make sense
Out of that picture of you in your wheelchair
And leaned up against . . .

Her Jamaican rum
And when she did come, I asked her for some.
She said, "No, dear."
I said, "Your words aren't clear,
You'd better spit out your gum."
She screamed then her face got so red
And she fell on the floor,
And I covered her up and then
Thought I'll go look through her drawer.

And, when I was through
I filled up my shoe
And brought it to you.
And you, you took me in,
You loved me then
And you never wasted time.
And I, I never took much,
I never asked for your crutch.
Now don't ask for mine.

The only worthwhile prayer ever written:

Dear Lord...please protect me from your followers.

I say : Dear Lord...please protect me from me. Do you ?

Nope.

But in your case, I can understand your concern.