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Who God REALLY Is...

 
 
Reply Thu 9 Feb, 2006 08:18 am
Who is God?

All these religious battles going on, and the answer is obvious.

The only NFL coach to win 3 Super Bowls in 4 years, Bill Belichick. He is God. Has worked miracles in front of our eyes. Raise your hand to the almighty:

http://www.croatianworld.net/Letters/belichick8.jpg

And let us not forget his son, Jesus. Otherwise known as Teddy Bruschi. Pro-Bowler linebacker, who so far seems to be probably the only professional athlete to make a successful comeback after having a stroke. Linebackers around the league model their play after Bruschi, who is small for his position but absolutely dominates. In the name of the Lord:

http://www.photofile.com/Photos/Albums/SuperBowl39/Images/04SBBruschiTeddy.jpg

Thank you. That is all.
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Type: Discussion • Score: 0 • Views: 2,715 • Replies: 54
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Heeven
 
  1  
Reply Thu 9 Feb, 2006 08:28 am
What's a Super Bowl?
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spendius
 
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Reply Thu 9 Feb, 2006 08:31 am
It's a game involving mass hysteria and it is made to look a lot tougher than it actually is.I don't recall anybody in English sport who played after having a stroke.
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Slappy Doo Hoo
 
  1  
Reply Thu 9 Feb, 2006 08:36 am
Made to look tougher than it is?

Ok...get hit by a 270lb guy who's 6% bodyfat running full speed at you. Must be nothing.
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spendius
 
  1  
Reply Thu 9 Feb, 2006 08:43 am
There's no comparison for toughness compared to facing Brett Lee or Shoaib Akhtar on a cracking wicket with cloud cover at 93 mph.

And zero body fat.
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Slappy Doo Hoo
 
  1  
Reply Thu 9 Feb, 2006 08:54 am
I guess you're being sarcastic, since it's virtually impossible to have zero body fat.
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Jason Proudmoore
 
  1  
Reply Thu 9 Feb, 2006 09:08 am
He's God, indeed. If not, he's a close relative.
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spendius
 
  1  
Reply Thu 9 Feb, 2006 09:11 am
Slappy-

I agree that it is virtually impossible to have zero body fat but it is possible to have virtually zero body fat which is what I meant.
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Sturgis
 
  1  
Reply Thu 9 Feb, 2006 09:32 am
Re: Who God REALLY Is...
Slappy Doo Hoo wrote:
Who is God?

All these religious battles going on, and the answer is obvious.

The only NFL coach to win 3 Super Bowls in 4 years, Bill Belichick. He is God. Has worked miracles in front of our eyes. Raise your hand to the almighty:




Oh you poor unfortunate delusional fool...if Belichick was even on the lower rungs of being among God's inner circle the Pathetictriots would have done better this past season. Instead they found themselves in post-season play being stomped and trampled upon and shown to be the losers that they were and are and always will be. It seems that the real truth about BB is that he is in point of fact the devil incarnate, and God finally got tired of the silly antics of BB and all the so-called Patheticriot fans...who mercifully, but not surprisingly have developed an odd bout of laryngitis in recent weeks. Seems to have coincided with their humiliating defeat. Obviously you have confused Bumblechick with Bill Cowher coach of God's most favored team, the Beloved Pittsburgh Steelers. Don't fret over it Slappy, you had the wrong Bill...it happens.
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Slappy Doo Hoo
 
  1  
Reply Thu 9 Feb, 2006 09:44 am
You must have forgotten that even Jesus had his ups and downs.

He risen from the dead way back then, and he did it again. His name is Bruschi.

Plus, if they just kept winning, everyone in the world would know God and Jesus had a football team. Then people would say it's not fair.
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Sturgis
 
  1  
Reply Thu 9 Feb, 2006 09:46 am
You're off your meds again, aren't you? It's the only thing that would account for this warped way of thinking that you have.
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Questioner
 
  1  
Reply Thu 9 Feb, 2006 09:47 am
Bill Belichick is in no way, shape, or form, God. That is a rather outrageous bit of blasphemy there Slappy.

Everyone here knows who God really is. . .































http://www.arnadal.no/film/actors/images/alda_alan_1975.jpg
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Sturgis
 
  1  
Reply Thu 9 Feb, 2006 09:48 am
God is also Chief of Operations for The New York Yankees...
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Slappy Doo Hoo
 
  1  
Reply Thu 9 Feb, 2006 10:19 am
Sturgis wrote:
You're off your meds again, aren't you? It's the only thing that would account for this warped way of thinking that you have.


Really? I'd say this is the most sane and logical post in the Religion category.
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Sturgis
 
  1  
Reply Thu 9 Feb, 2006 10:22 am
You got me there...
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neologist
 
  1  
Reply Thu 9 Feb, 2006 10:23 am
As many of you know, I am the chief representative of the renowned guru SuperbOwl who grants interviews only to initiates of the elliptical orb.

This is what SuperbOwl has spoken:

Woe to the vertically striped usurpers of SuperBowl righteousness. I, SuperbOwl will surely smite them in SuperBowl XLI or SuperBowl XXXXI or SuperBowl IXL or whatever the heck they will call it.

Below is my revered image:

http://www.freewebs.com/seattleprosports/seahawk.jpg

Bow before me or be destroyed.
0 Replies
 
JPB
 
  1  
Reply Thu 9 Feb, 2006 10:29 am
Slappy and Sturgis both have the wrong Bill.

http://sfgiants91090.tripod.com/sitebuildercontent/sitebuilderpictures/.pond/cowboyscbillparcels.jpg.w180h248.jpg

...even though I hate the Cowboys.
0 Replies
 
Slappy Doo Hoo
 
  1  
Reply Thu 9 Feb, 2006 10:33 am
Neologist.

First you have to win a Super Bowl for Bruschi or Belicihick to CONSIDER you as a disciple.
0 Replies
 
neologist
 
  1  
Reply Thu 9 Feb, 2006 10:35 am
Slappy Doo Hoo wrote:
Neologist.

First you have to win a Super Bowl for Bruschi or Belicihick to CONSIDER you as a disciple.
SuberbOwl will destroy the striped usurpers.
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Sturgis
 
  1  
Reply Thu 9 Feb, 2006 10:37 am
Seasquawks are even more pathetic than the Patheticriots.
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