Idiot Corner

Its all blue potatoes to me...

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Cliff Hanger wrote:

hephzibah wrote:
I hate it when lightbulbs go out. Mostly because I'm so short. Changing lightbulbs for me has proven to be a difficult task at times... Both lightbulbs went out in my dinning room fixture just the other day. Well I don't have a stepping stool so I've had to be rather creative in finding ways to get tall enough to reach the stinking fixture. So I just convinced me husband to let me buy this card table with folding chairs for the kids to eat at when we have company.

I thought, "Ah HA! That's perfect!"

So I pull up my little chair...

stand on it... all is good.

I lean just a little to the right to try and unscrew the fixture...

The chair begins to fold...

TIMBER!!!!

I hit the floor like a sack of potatoes! As I'm laying there groaning all wrapped up in the chair my dog, who I just tried to kill by falling on top of him, comes and licks me right on the face...

ARGH...

This is good. Brilliant Idiocy. What the @!#$ were you thinking?

I had a brain fart...

Bwaaaaaaaa hahaha!

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I went to a sales appointment unprepared. Didn't have the current contracts with me. Actually, even the old contract I had was missing a page. Ended up getting the sale.

So I sent in the old one, and uh...took the liberty of signing the missing page for Mr. Customer after getting home.

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I decided to have a clean up in a paddock. All the dead limbs were piled up. Put screwed up newspaper in and lit it. The fire nearly catches...... but not quite............. Paper goes out. No fire happenning.............. I know how to fix this................ 2 stroke. It'll be ok, see no fire, paper gone out. slosh on a bit of 2 stroke.

BOOOOOOM

stupid STUPID Idiot

It took two or 3 weeks for all the skin to peel off my face.

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This reminds me of a thread I used to love. Here's my entry. I think it qualifies here.

http://www.able2know.com/forums/viewtopic.php?t=15176&postdays=0&postorder=asc&start=30

Lotsa candidates for the Idiot's Corner there.

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hephzibah wrote:

I hit the floor like a sack of potatoes! As I'm laying there groaning all wrapped up in the chair my dog, who I just tried to kill by falling on top of him, comes and licks me right on the face...

ARGH...

Working on draperies a couple of weeks ago, managed to take the same tumble, only I was even using a step ladder.

Like you, I almost fell on my cat Jezebel, who thank God, managed to leap out of the way a the last second.

As I lay there trying to decide if I was hurt, she said.....

"You F*CKING Idiot! What's WRONG with you! You could have KILLED me!"

Then, she licked her butt.

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I drove right under a bright red light in the intersection.....

i think i was supposed to stop...

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dadpad wrote:

...All the dead limbs were piled up...

It took two or 3 weeks for all the skin to peel off my face.

The meetup at Dadpad's has been cancelled....

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HA! That reminds of of a part of the book The Poisonwood Bible (great book btw)

This missionary family lives in the Congo, and one daughter, who is incredibly self centered was saying how the city was really growning...something like

"There's even a stop light at one intersection, now I have to slow WAY down"

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Chai Tea wrote:

hephzibah wrote:

I hit the floor like a sack of potatoes! As I'm laying there groaning all wrapped up in the chair my dog, who I just tried to kill by falling on top of him, comes and licks me right on the face...

ARGH...

Working on draperies a couple of weeks ago, managed to take the same tumble, only I was even using a step ladder.

Like you, I almost fell on my cat Jezebel, who thank God, managed to leap out of the way a the last second.

As I lay there trying to decide if I was hurt, she said.....

"You F*CKING Idiot! What's WRONG with you! You could have KILLED me!"

Then, she licked her butt.

LOL!

Hey chai do you remember your conversation with his2serve in the big bang thread? That was my husband trying to give you such a hard time... he's a dork... Rolling Eyes

Sorry if he was rude to you at all.

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hephzibah wrote:

Hey chai do you remember your conversation with his2serve in the big bang thread? That was my husband trying to give you such a hard time... he's a dork... Sorry if he was rude to you at all.

Was he the one who kept insisting the earth was the origin of the Big Bang?

No, didn't think he was rude at all. Just, well, uninformed shall I put it?

Why was he saying stuff that was, well, just so Wrong?

Was he being funny, or has he never heard of quantum physics?

I love cosmology, but know so little compared to others. Usually I'm asking questions, and when I do make a statement I try to be really sure it's correct before I say it.

Huh, have him come back.

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He was being rather arrogant if you ask me. I read what he posted to you and it just seemed, I don't know... We're just really different in some aspects. Here's the link to the things he said to you:

http://www.able2know.com/forums/about67628-0-asc-40.html

I won't ask him to come back because I'm the one who asked him to leave. LOL Sorry... There are a lot of things my husband and I don't see eye to eye on and I didn't want to bring the stuff from here into our personal life. You know what I mean?

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Sounds like he had a couple of bourbons and beers that night....

Oh, and he's still incorrect about the big bang.

when I was talking about the future effecting the past.....well, forget it, too complicated for here.

no harm no foul hep.

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Quote:

Sounds like he had a couple of bourbons and beers that night....

Ahem... you hit the nail right on the head...

Quote:

no harm no foul hep.

Thank you. Smile

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Bourbon and beer, interesting combo.

Speaking of which, here's my latest idiot move. I didn't eat much yesterday, mostly fruit and some homemade turkey/bean soup for dinner. While cooking dinner, I poured a fairly large glass of white wine. I can't remember the last time a single glass of wine sent me flying, but I was asleep on the couch by 9:00. I woke up long enough to go to bed and slept until the alarm went off at 6:00. Best night's sleep I've had in ages. Hmmmm, maybe it wasn't so idiotic after all.

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Yeah wine... LOL I was never much of a wine drinker myself. One day a few years ago I was sitting with my roommate and a friend on the porch drinking wine. I was a bit of a lightweight because I didn't drink too much and I was clueless how sneaky wine can be. While sitting there I casually drank four glasses and was feeling just a slight buzz... until I stood up! The whole world tilted... no jolted several different directions at the same time... whoooooooo... I was in bed by 7:30 pm (still not quite sure how I got there) and being abruptly brought out of my passed out state by my roommate who thought I had stopped breathing. Wine gives one duzey of a headache if you drink too much, that is for sure! I wasn't sure if I should hate her because of bringing me back to a reality with about 10 knives jabbing me in the head... or if I should be grateful that she may just have saved my life... It hurt too much to think so I just passed out again and slept for several more hours...

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