WHAT IS THE ABLE2KNOW CONSPIRACY OF DOOM!?

Fine, buit I insist that everyone sports a twirly goatee as well. You know, so it looks like we is always trwirling it in our fingers.

The glases are a disguise because we is gonna look stooopid.

No smegging comment.

dlowan beat me to it.

And I ain't shaving off the moustache again, even if Craven begs me too. (last time I did my wife laughed at me for thirty minutes...
without breathing...
she's not my wife anymore.)

Craven in that get-up is doing strange things to my heart rate.....Monger looks mighty cute wiv a mo, too...... this thing is gonna have weird repercussions around here, I can tell.

Especially with most of you having spring an' all....


Oh, I mean, no smegging comment.

If I grew a moustach, I'd look like, well, Johnny Depp with a handlebar.

By the way, I have a 8" tongue and I've learned how to breath through my ears.

No smegging comment!

cjhsa- I once saw a picture where a guy could touch his forehead with his tongue. Betcha can't do that!

bet he couldn't touch his tongue with his forehead!

mwaha-hee-hee-hee-hee-hee!

(damn!)

Ahem.

Ahem!

AHEM!!!!!


I have plucked toenails.

I am the Queen Mother.

Sorry, but the coolest conspiracies involve NO facial hair. In fact they require NO HAIR WHATSOEVER!!!!







Me and Slappy are off tg Denny's on Saturday to do some follow up on ruling the planet. You guys are free to drop by, y'know we could network a little...

Hair only on my head.....

Hohem.....

There goes my Queen Mother title.....

That is my true identity. It is a top secret, naturally, not to be disclosed to anyone beyond the club!

(Shhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh.....)

gee, what long beard you have....

Can I rack up any coolness points while having allergy attacks? If not, I'll have to wait until, um, June or something like that.

In the meantime, Benadryl is my friend.

Atchoo!

PS Mr. Jespah has a full moustache and beard. Is it okay if I live off his glory or do I need my own?

PPS If I bring homemade cookies, will that obviate the need to pass any other initiation tests?

I like how dag's beard has little hands sprouting at the end of it. Very spiritual.

Jes, allergy attacks, eh? I think those can be spun to rack up coolness points. Like,

Unsuspecting Gentleman: "Gee, having allergies there, eh?"

Conniving Conspiracy of Doomer: "Yeah, yeah, I'm *atchoo* having allergies, that's all, it's not like *atchoo* this is an A2K curse or anything, *schniff*, I mean, I was told that it will go away as soon as I have gathered enough... I mean *atchoo atchoo atchoo* sorry, I have to go!!"

Unsuspecting Gentleman:

Mr. Jespah liked your moustache, soz.

Er, thanks. I think. That's not the kind of compliment a lady likes to get, generally.

Cookies?

Well, then.....of course, Mr. Jespah is welcome!

Mr. Jespah was last clean-shaven at our wedding, if I recall correctly.

I can see how a compliment on a lady's moustache would be, well, uncommon. This means the global conspiracy is working.

I wonder if coolness points can be racked up if one uses Cool-Whip(TM) as an alternative fuel?