GUILTY CONSCIENCE

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I have an extremely guilty conscience. I feel bad about the slightest transgressions on my part and I don't know why. It just seems to be a natural reaction. Is this because of my upbringing or could it be deeper in my unconsious? Perhaps a mental defect?? My life would be so much easier without this guilt.

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Masturbation is a sin.

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lmur wrote:

Masturbation is a sin.

Guess I'd better pack my bags for a journey to Hell then...

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John, what kind of guilt? What kind of transgressions? Things like you deliberately hurt someone beause they made you mad or punched someone because they cut in line? Or that you kicked a dog? Or that you told a lie?

Are your transgressions "big" ones, or just human ones?

Is your guilt for your soul, or because you got caught? Or didn't get caught?

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Re: GUILTY CONSCIENCE

John Creasy wrote:

I have an extremely guilty conscience. I feel bad about the slightest transgressions on my part and I don't know why. It just seems to be a natural reaction. Is this because of my upbringing or could it be deeper in my unconsious? Perhaps a mental defect?? My life would be so much easier without this guilt.

Sounds very much like childhood problems materialise for you here. You need to give yourself a good bollocking and tell the whole guilt box to have sex and travel.

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Re: GUILTY CONSCIENCE

John Creasy wrote:

I have an extremely guilty conscience. I feel bad about the slightest transgressions on my part and I don't know why. It just seems to be a natural reaction. Is this because of my upbringing or could it be deeper in my unconsious? Perhaps a mental defect?? My life would be so much easier without this guilt.

I don't know, what kind of upbringing did you have?

Did anyone ever tell you

GET YOUR HANDS AWAY FROM THERE! THAT'S A DIRTY DIRTY PLACE!
IF YOU TOUCH THAT DIRTY PLACE AGAIN, GOD WILL SEND YOU TO HELL!

or

Your sister never acted like that. Why can't you be more like your sister?

or

<shaking you> TELL ME WHAT YOU WERE DOING IN THERE!? TELL ME!
WHAT WERE YOU DOING!?

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As someone of Jewish descent, I think guilt is a gene. Maybe somewhere in your family history a barbarian relative of yours hooked up with a shetel Jew and the guilt gene has surfaced in your DNA generations laters. Guilt is not all bad, it makes you think before you act.

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Green Witch wrote:

As someone of Jewish descent, I think guilt is a gene. Maybe somewhere in your family history a barbarian relative of yours hooked up with a shetel Jew and the guilt gene has surfaced in your DNA generations laters. Guilt is not all bad, it makes you think before you act.

oh, so you must have heard this one....

WHY ARE YOU DOING THIS TO ME? WHY?

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My mother was very controlling and she nagged a lot.

I sometimes feel guilty for the slightest things like saying something inappropriate by accident or inadvertently offending somebody. If I feel like I didn't say the right thing in a social situation, it can bother me for hours.

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Creasy-- I have the same problem. I would fail a polygraph if they questioned my about the Lindbergh baby kidnapping.

What pisses me off is that "common knowledge" on psychological tests for job interviews--assume a person with a guilty conscience IS guilty of a lot of stuff--and this is diametrically opposed to my reality. I am so honest it's stupid.

My mother was incredibly controlling and always critical. I never did anything right as far as she was concerned. Add that to a fundamentalist household, and I have wound up with a very guilty conscience.

I'd be interested in a conversation of the id, ego and super ego. If I'm right, the super ego is the part of the conscience/subconscience that intimidates the id to shut up, and the ego to conform to what you were taught is "correct behavior.'

An excessively guilty conscious, I think, is the result of an underdeveloped id and an overdeveloped super ego....?

Anybody?

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John, your feelings just indicate you have a conscience. Let's face it, there are plenty of people that can beat their spouse, abandon their kids and shoot the dog without losing any sleep over the events. Better to be a little haunted by a faux pas than stay comfortably numb.

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Chai Tea wrote:

Green Witch wrote:
As someone of Jewish descent, I think guilt is a gene. Maybe somewhere in your family history a barbarian relative of yours hooked up with a shetel Jew and the guilt gene has surfaced in your DNA generations laters. Guilt is not all bad, it makes you think before you act.

oh, so you must have heard this one....

WHY ARE YOU DOING THIS TO ME? WHY?

Actually Chai, the line would be more like: "Don't worry about me. I'll just sit here and wait for my heart to slowly stop beating while you worry me to death".

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John, there are people who would feel guilty living alone on a desert island. But that is infintely better than lacking a conscience, such as sociopaths (psychopaths). I have had a problem with a tendency to feel guilt for things over which I have no control or responsibility. We should try not to BE GUILTY of ethical transgressions, but being guilty and FEELING GUILT are not the same. Irrational feelings of guilt must be challenged.

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Jewish mothers sound a lot like French-Catholic grandmothers. Laughing

John,
Maybe it's time for a little sit-down with yourself to assess whether the guilt you are feeling is worth it or not. Look at each 'big thing' that makes you feel loaded with guilt and analyze it objectively. Was it really such a bad thing? Does it deserve action now? If so, what can you do? Then you can either lay it aside by saying to yourself "that's over and done with. There is no point feeling bad about it now" or you can take action to try and make things straight.

I don't know how useful assigning a cause in the past for guilt is, unless it helps you to deal with what is weighing you down in the present. Sometimes you just gotta let things go.

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Re: GUILTY CONSCIENCE

John Creasy wrote:

I have an extremely guilty conscience. I feel bad about the slightest transgressions on my part and I don't know why. It just seems to be a natural reaction. Is this because of my upbringing or could it be deeper in my unconsious? Perhaps a mental defect?? My life would be so much easier without this guilt.

A guilty conscience could be because of so many things - your own fault, someone else makes you feel guilty for no reason and you don't see through it, or some default. So, take a good look at the reason for the guilt and if you must feel remorse then do that or if things can be turned around instead, then do that, and if not, then feel remorse and move on. I think feeling guilty is like worrying and they say, "Worrying is like a rocking chair, it gets you nowhere." So move on and see things in perspective and be fair to others and yourself in the future.

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From:
Erikson's Eight Stages of Development

Quote:

Learning Autonomy Versus Shame (Will)
The second psychosocial crisis, Erikson believes, occurs during early childhood, probably between about 18 months or 2 years and 3½ to 4 years of age. The "well - parented" child emerges from this stage sure of himself, elated with his new found control, and proud rather than ashamed. Autonomy is not, however, entirely synonymous with assured self - possession, initiative, and independence but, at least for children in the early part of this psychosocial crisis, includes stormy self - will, tantrums, stubbornness, and negativism. For example, one sees may 2 year olds resolutely folding their arms to prevent their mothers from holding their hands as they cross the street. Also, the sound of "NO" rings through the house or the grocery store.

It is 'stage 2.'

I think you are correct, too, Lash:

Quote:

An excessively guilty conscious, I think, is the result of an underdeveloped id and an overdeveloped super ego....?

Id, Ego, and Superego

Perhaps Erickson's theory is the development of the manifestation Freud described. It does fall into the same timeframe of Freud's ego development.

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One might say that complete autonomy would imply a "freedom" from the capacity for shame and guilt. Such a person might correspond to what we call the psychopath or sociopath. A socialized individual is free, up to a point, but not shameless. He lives within a society and has internalized its culture so that he is subject, to some extent, to its demands, what Freud called his superego--or conscience.

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GUILTY CONSCIENCE

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