0
   

Save The Trees Before It's Too Late!

 
 
NickFun
 
Reply Sat 26 Nov, 2005 12:10 pm
A couple months ago I was at Six Flags Amusement Park with my girlfriend. After coming off the Tilt-A-Wheel I headed for a nearby tree to steady myself. I pulled a couple of leaves off the tree. A scar-faced, beer-bellied security guard spotted me and shouted, "Hey You!" At first I ignored him because I didn't realize I was the "you" he was referring to. He approached me.

"Hey Pal, did you just pull some leaves off that tree?"

I put my hand with the offending leaves behind my back and dropped them. "Why no, officer", I replied, knowing full well that he's not a police officer and that no police force in the country would ever even let this guy into the station without locking him up.

"I saw you do it!" Right then I knew that I was busted. "We have rules against people pulling the leaves off trees here!" he shouted. "What would happen if everyone started pulling the leaves off the trees?"

I thought about this situation. It had never occured to me before. There are 100,000 visitors to that park every day. There are 300 million people in this country. If EVERYONE pulled a couple of leaves off that tree within hours the tree would be stripped bare! Then they would move on to the other trees in the park and start pulling their leaves off. Within a couple of weeks the entire park would be leafless! People, in their mad desire to defoliate, would then start ripping the leaves off any tree they saw! Within months the entire country would be defoliated! This phenomenon would spread to the rest of the world! People in the Amazon would have the entire rain forest plucked clean in days! The Earth would become polluted with CO2. The oceans would dry up! Humanity and life as we know it would be wiped out within 10 years! The Earth would burn to a cinder!!!

"I'm sorry sir", I said to the guard. "I guess it's a good thing EVERYONE doesn't do that".

"Just don't do it again", the guard said smuggly.

By preventing me from plucking leaves off the tree the guard had inadvertently saved humanity. My girlfiend and I went out and bought corn dogs. I took mine and shoved it up his ass.

Lighten up pal.
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Sturgis
 
  1  
Reply Sat 26 Nov, 2005 12:15 pm
Whadda ya have against leaves? Whaddid they ever do to you?

and for all our sakes and to help with imagery, what type of leaf? Elm, Maple, Oak?
0 Replies
 
NickFun
 
  1  
Reply Sat 26 Nov, 2005 12:19 pm
I don't recall the type of tree but it was small and had many, many leaves.
0 Replies
 
AngeliqueEast
 
  1  
Reply Sat 26 Nov, 2005 12:21 pm
I'm glad at least one person is protecting the trees.
0 Replies
 
Sturgis
 
  1  
Reply Sat 26 Nov, 2005 12:21 pm
Had being the key word here.
0 Replies
 
roger
 
  1  
Reply Sat 26 Nov, 2005 12:28 pm
At Six Flags, the technical description of both tree and leaves should probably include the word 'plastic'.
0 Replies
 
ossobuco
 
  1  
Reply Sat 26 Nov, 2005 01:09 pm
I'm an inveterate leaf puller...

If I don't know a plant, I might take a leaf to help me remember it and look it up when I get home. Haven't been caught yet....
0 Replies
 
djjd62
 
  1  
Reply Sat 26 Nov, 2005 04:33 pm
AngeliqueEast wrote:
I'm glad at least one person is protecting the trees.


http://ecenter.colorado.edu/earthed/images/lorax.jpg

The Lorax
Dr. Seuss

At the far end of town where the Grickle-grass grows
and the wind smells slow-and-sour when it blows
and no birds ever sing excepting old crows...is the Street of the Lifted Lorax.

And deep in the Grickle-grass, some people say,
if you look deep enough you can still see, today,
where the Lorax once stood just as long as it could
before somebody lifted the Lorax away.

What WAS the Lorax? And why was it there?
And why was it lifted and taken somewhere
from the far end of town where the Grickle-grass grows?
The old Once-ler still lives here.
Ask him. HE knows.

You won't see the Once-ler.
Don't knock at his door. He stays in his Lerkim on top of his store.
He lurks in his Lerkim, cold under the roof, where he makes his own clothes
out of miff-muffered moof.
And on special dank midnights in August,
he peeks out of the shutters and sometimes he speaks
and tells how the Lorax was lifted away.

He'll tell you, perhaps...

if you're willing to pay.

On the end of a rope he lets down a tin pail
and you have to toss in fifteen cents and a nail
and the shell of a great-great-great-grandfather snail.

Then he pulls up the pail,
makes a most careful count
to see if you've paid him
the proper amount.

Then he hides what you paid him away in his Snuvv,
his secret strange hole in his gruvvulous glove.

Then he grunts, "I will call you by Whisper-ma-Phone,
for the secrets I tell are for your ears alone.

"SLUPP!"

Down slupps the Whisper-ma-Phone to your ear
and the old Once-ler's whispers are not very clear,
since they have to come down through a snergelly hose,
and he sounds as if he had smallish bees up his nose.

"Now I'll tell you," he says,
with his teeth sounding gray,
"how the Lorax got lifted and taken away...
It all started way back...
such a long, long time back...

Way back in the days when the grass was still green
and the pond was still wet
and the clouds were still clean,
and the song of the Swomee-Swans rang out in space...
one morning, I came to this glorious place.
And I first saw the trees!
The Truffula Trees!
The bright-colored tufts of the Truffula Trees!
Mile after mile in the fresh morning breeze.

And, under the trees, I saw Brown Bar-ba-loots
frisking about in their Bar-ba-loot suits
as they played in the shade and ate Truffula Fruits.

From the rippulous pond
came the comfortable sound of the Humming-Fish humming
while splashing around.

But those TREES!
Those TREES!
THOSE TRUFFULA TREES!
All my life I'd been searching for trees such as these.
The touch of their tufts was much softer than silk.
And they had the sweet smell of fresh butterfly milk.
I felt a great leaping of joy in my heart.
I knew just what I'd do!
I unloaded my cart.

In no time at all,
I had built a small shop.
Then I chopped down a Truffula Tree with one chop.
And with great skillful skill and with great speedy speed,
I took the soft tuft.
And I knitted a Thneed!

The instant I'd finished, I heard a GA-ZUMP!
I looked.
I saw something pop out of the stump
of the tree I'd chopped down.
It was sort of a man.
Describe him?...That's hard.
I don't know if I can.

He was shortish. And oldish.
And brownish. And mossy.
And he spoke in a voice that was sharpish and bossy.
"Mister!" he said with a sawdusty sneeze,
"I am the Lorax. I speak for the trees.
I speak for the trees, for the trees have no tongues.
And I'm asking you, sir, at the top of my lungs"
he was very upset as he shouted and puffed
"WHAT'S THAT THING YOU'VE MADE OUT OF MY TRUFFULA TUFT?"

"Look Lorax," I said.
"There's no cause for alarm.
I chopped just one tree. I am doing no harm.
I'm being quite useful. This thing is a Thneed.
A Thneed's a Fine-Something-That-All-People-Need!
It's a shirt. It's a sock. It's a glove. It's a hat.
But it has OTHER uses. Yes, far beyond that.
You can use it for carpets. For pillows! For sheets!
Or curtains! Or covers for bicycle seats!"

The Lorax said,
"Sir! You are crazy with greed.
There is no one on earth
who would buy that fool Thneed!"

But the very next minute I proved he was wrong.
For, just at that minute, a chap came along,
and he thought that the Thneed I had knitted was great.
He happily bought it for three ninety-eight.

I laughed at the Lorax, "You poor stupid guy!
You never can tell what some people will buy."

"I repeat," cried the Lorax,
"I speak for the trees!"

"I'm busy," I told him.
"Shut up, if you please."

I rushed 'cross the room, and in no time at all,
built a radio-phone. I put in a quick call.

I called all my brothers and uncles and aunts
and I said, "Listen here! Here's a wonderful chance
for the whole Once-ler Family to get mighty rich!
Get over here fast! Take the road to North Nitch.
Turn left at Weehawken.
Sharp right at South Stitch."
And, in no time at all,
in the factory I built,
The whole Once-ler Familywas working full tilt.

We were all knitting Thneeds
just as busy as bees,
to the sound of the chopping
of Truffula Trees.

Then...
Oh! Baby! Oh! How my business did grow!
Now, chopping one treeat a time was too slow.

So I quickly invented my Super-Axe-Hacker
which whacked off four Truffula Trees at one smacker.
We were making Thneeds four times as fast as before!
And that Lorax?...HE didn't show up any more.

But the next week
he knocked on my new office door.

He snapped,
"I'm the Lorax who speaks for the trees which you seem to be chopping as fast as you please.
But I'm ALSO in charge of the Brown Bar-ba-loots
who played in the shade in their Bar-ba-loot suits
and happily lived, eating Truffula Fruits.
NOW... thanks to your hacking my trees to the ground,
there's not enough Truffula Fruit to go 'round.
And my poor Bar-ba-loots are all getting the crummies
because they have gas, and no food, in their tummies!
They loved living here. But I can't let them stay.
They'll have to find food. And I hope that they may.
good luck, boys," he cried.
And sent them away.

I, the Once-ler, felt sad as I watched them all go.
BUT...business is business!
And business must grow regardless of crummies in tummies, you know.

I meant no harm.
I most truly did not.
But I had to grow bigger. So bigger I got.

I biggered my factory.
I biggered my roads.
I biggered my wagons.
I biggered the loads of the Thneeds I shipped out.
I was shipping them forth to the South! To the East! To the West! To the North!
I went right on biggering... selling more Thneeds.
And I biggered my money, which everyone needs.

Then AGAIN he came back!
was fixing some pipes
when the old-nuisance Lorax came back with MORE gripes.

"I am the Lorax," he coughed and he whiffed.
He sneezed and he shuffled. He snarggled. He sniffed.
"Once-ler!" he cried with a cruffulous croak.
"Once-ler! You're making such a smogulous smoke!
My poor Swomee-Swans... why, they can't sing a note!
No one can sing who has smog in his throat."
And so," said the Lorax,
"-please pardon my cough-They cannot live here.
So I'm sending them off.

"Where will they go?...I don't hopefully know.
"They may have to fly for a month... or a year...
To escape from the smog you've smogged-up around here.

"What's MORE," snapped the Lorax. (His dander was up.)
"Let me say a few words about Gluppity-Glupp.
Your machinery chugs on, day and night without stop
making Gluppity-Glupp. ALso Schloppity-Schlopp.
And what do you do with this leftover goo?...
I'll show you. You dirty old Once-ler man, you!
"You're glumping the pond where the Humming-Fish hummed!
No more can they hum, for their gills are all gummed.
So I'm sending them off. Oh, their future is dreary.
They'll walk on their fins and get woefully weary
in search of some water that isn't so smeary."

And then I got mad.

I got terribly mad.

I yelled at the Lorax, "Now listen here, Dad!
All you do is yap-yap and say, 'Bad! Bad! Bad! Bad!'
Well, I have rights, sir, and I'm telling YOU
I intend to go on doing just what I do!
And, for your information, you Lorax, Im figgering
on biggering

and Biggering


and BIGGERING


AND BIGGERING,

turning MORE Truffula Trees into Thneeds
which everyone, Everyone, EVERYONE needs!"

And at that very moment, we heard a loud whack!
From outside in the fields came a sickening smack
of an axe on a tree.

Then we heard the tree fall.

*** The very last Truffula Tree of them all! ***

No more trees. No more Thneeds. No more work to be done.
So, in no time, my uncles and aunts, every one,
all waved good-bye.
They jumped into my cars
and drove away under the smog-smuggered stars.

Now all that was left 'neath the bad-smelling sky
was my big empty factory...
the Lorax...
and I.

The Lorax said nothing. Just gave me a glance...
just gave me a very sad, sad, backward glance...
as he lifted himself by the seat of his pants.

And I'll never forget the grim look on his face
when he heisted himself and took leave of this place,
through a hole in the smog, without leaving a trace.
And all that the Lorax left here in this mess
was a small pile of rocks, with one word..."UNLESS."

Whatever THAT meant,
well I just couldn't guess.
That was long, long ago.

But each day since that day
I've sat here and worried and worried away.
Through the years, while my buildings have fallen apart,
I've worried about it with all of my heart.

"But NOW" says the Once-ler,
"Now that YOU'RE here,
the word of the Lorax seems perfectly clear.

UNLESS someone like you cares a whole awful lot,
nothing is going to get better.
It's not.

"SO...

Catch!"

He lets something fall.

"It's a Truffula Seed.
It's the last one of all!
You're in charge of the last of the Truffula Seeds.
And Truffula Trees are what everyone needs.
Plant a new Truffula. Treat it with care.
Give it clean water. And feed it fresh air.
Grow a forest. Protect it from axes that hack.
Then the Lorax and all of his friends may come back."
0 Replies
 
flushd
 
  1  
Reply Sat 26 Nov, 2005 08:30 pm
It's annoying when guys like that security guard get a little taste of power over people. Petty tyrants are the worse.

But at least, Nick, you gave that guy a tingly feeling and made him smile (if smugly). He sure sounds like he needed some amusement.

Smile
0 Replies
 
edgarblythe
 
  1  
Reply Sat 26 Nov, 2005 08:42 pm
You could at least have picked the leaves up and sought some way to reattach them to the tree.
0 Replies
 
Amigo
 
  1  
Reply Sat 26 Nov, 2005 08:52 pm
Theres always some as**ole standing around hidding behind a tree right when you start to have a good time.
0 Replies
 
AngeliqueEast
 
  1  
Reply Sun 27 Nov, 2005 01:35 am
djjd62 wrote:
AngeliqueEast wrote:
I'm glad at least one person is protecting the trees.


http://ecenter.colorado.edu/earthed/images/lorax.jpg

The Lorax
Dr. Seuss

At the far end of town where the Grickle-grass grows
and the wind smells slow-and-sour when it blows
and no birds ever sing excepting old crows...is the Street of the Lifted Lorax.

And deep in the Grickle-grass, some people say,
if you look deep enough you can still see, today,
where the Lorax once stood just as long as it could
before somebody lifted the Lorax away.

What WAS the Lorax? And why was it there?
And why was it lifted and taken somewhere
from the far end of town where the Grickle-grass grows?
The old Once-ler still lives here.
Ask him. HE knows.

You won't see the Once-ler.
Don't knock at his door. He stays in his Lerkim on top of his store.
He lurks in his Lerkim, cold under the roof, where he makes his own clothes
out of miff-muffered moof.
And on special dank midnights in August,
he peeks out of the shutters and sometimes he speaks
and tells how the Lorax was lifted away.

He'll tell you, perhaps...

if you're willing to pay.

On the end of a rope he lets down a tin pail
and you have to toss in fifteen cents and a nail
and the shell of a great-great-great-grandfather snail.

Then he pulls up the pail,
makes a most careful count
to see if you've paid him
the proper amount.

Then he hides what you paid him away in his Snuvv,
his secret strange hole in his gruvvulous glove.

Then he grunts, "I will call you by Whisper-ma-Phone,
for the secrets I tell are for your ears alone.

"SLUPP!"

Down slupps the Whisper-ma-Phone to your ear
and the old Once-ler's whispers are not very clear,
since they have to come down through a snergelly hose,
and he sounds as if he had smallish bees up his nose.

"Now I'll tell you," he says,
with his teeth sounding gray,
"how the Lorax got lifted and taken away...
It all started way back...
such a long, long time back...

Way back in the days when the grass was still green
and the pond was still wet
and the clouds were still clean,
and the song of the Swomee-Swans rang out in space...
one morning, I came to this glorious place.
And I first saw the trees!
The Truffula Trees!
The bright-colored tufts of the Truffula Trees!
Mile after mile in the fresh morning breeze.

And, under the trees, I saw Brown Bar-ba-loots
frisking about in their Bar-ba-loot suits
as they played in the shade and ate Truffula Fruits.

From the rippulous pond
came the comfortable sound of the Humming-Fish humming
while splashing around.

But those TREES!
Those TREES!
THOSE TRUFFULA TREES!
All my life I'd been searching for trees such as these.
The touch of their tufts was much softer than silk.
And they had the sweet smell of fresh butterfly milk.
I felt a great leaping of joy in my heart.
I knew just what I'd do!
I unloaded my cart.

In no time at all,
I had built a small shop.
Then I chopped down a Truffula Tree with one chop.
And with great skillful skill and with great speedy speed,
I took the soft tuft.
And I knitted a Thneed!

The instant I'd finished, I heard a GA-ZUMP!
I looked.
I saw something pop out of the stump
of the tree I'd chopped down.
It was sort of a man.
Describe him?...That's hard.
I don't know if I can.

He was shortish. And oldish.
And brownish. And mossy.
And he spoke in a voice that was sharpish and bossy.
"Mister!" he said with a sawdusty sneeze,
"I am the Lorax. I speak for the trees.
I speak for the trees, for the trees have no tongues.
And I'm asking you, sir, at the top of my lungs"
he was very upset as he shouted and puffed
"WHAT'S THAT THING YOU'VE MADE OUT OF MY TRUFFULA TUFT?"

"Look Lorax," I said.
"There's no cause for alarm.
I chopped just one tree. I am doing no harm.
I'm being quite useful. This thing is a Thneed.
A Thneed's a Fine-Something-That-All-People-Need!
It's a shirt. It's a sock. It's a glove. It's a hat.
But it has OTHER uses. Yes, far beyond that.
You can use it for carpets. For pillows! For sheets!
Or curtains! Or covers for bicycle seats!"

The Lorax said,
"Sir! You are crazy with greed.
There is no one on earth
who would buy that fool Thneed!"

But the very next minute I proved he was wrong.
For, just at that minute, a chap came along,
and he thought that the Thneed I had knitted was great.
He happily bought it for three ninety-eight.

I laughed at the Lorax, "You poor stupid guy!
You never can tell what some people will buy."

"I repeat," cried the Lorax,
"I speak for the trees!"

"I'm busy," I told him.
"Shut up, if you please."

I rushed 'cross the room, and in no time at all,
built a radio-phone. I put in a quick call.

I called all my brothers and uncles and aunts
and I said, "Listen here! Here's a wonderful chance
for the whole Once-ler Family to get mighty rich!
Get over here fast! Take the road to North Nitch.
Turn left at Weehawken.
Sharp right at South Stitch."
And, in no time at all,
in the factory I built,
The whole Once-ler Familywas working full tilt.

We were all knitting Thneeds
just as busy as bees,
to the sound of the chopping
of Truffula Trees.

Then...
Oh! Baby! Oh! How my business did grow!
Now, chopping one treeat a time was too slow.

So I quickly invented my Super-Axe-Hacker
which whacked off four Truffula Trees at one smacker.
We were making Thneeds four times as fast as before!
And that Lorax?...HE didn't show up any more.

But the next week
he knocked on my new office door.

He snapped,
"I'm the Lorax who speaks for the trees which you seem to be chopping as fast as you please.
But I'm ALSO in charge of the Brown Bar-ba-loots
who played in the shade in their Bar-ba-loot suits
and happily lived, eating Truffula Fruits.
NOW... thanks to your hacking my trees to the ground,
there's not enough Truffula Fruit to go 'round.
And my poor Bar-ba-loots are all getting the crummies
because they have gas, and no food, in their tummies!
They loved living here. But I can't let them stay.
They'll have to find food. And I hope that they may.
good luck, boys," he cried.
And sent them away.

I, the Once-ler, felt sad as I watched them all go.
BUT...business is business!
And business must grow regardless of crummies in tummies, you know.

I meant no harm.
I most truly did not.
But I had to grow bigger. So bigger I got.

I biggered my factory.
I biggered my roads.
I biggered my wagons.
I biggered the loads of the Thneeds I shipped out.
I was shipping them forth to the South! To the East! To the West! To the North!
I went right on biggering... selling more Thneeds.
And I biggered my money, which everyone needs.

Then AGAIN he came back!
was fixing some pipes
when the old-nuisance Lorax came back with MORE gripes.

"I am the Lorax," he coughed and he whiffed.
He sneezed and he shuffled. He snarggled. He sniffed.
"Once-ler!" he cried with a cruffulous croak.
"Once-ler! You're making such a smogulous smoke!
My poor Swomee-Swans... why, they can't sing a note!
No one can sing who has smog in his throat."
And so," said the Lorax,
"-please pardon my cough-They cannot live here.
So I'm sending them off.

"Where will they go?...I don't hopefully know.
"They may have to fly for a month... or a year...
To escape from the smog you've smogged-up around here.

"What's MORE," snapped the Lorax. (His dander was up.)
"Let me say a few words about Gluppity-Glupp.
Your machinery chugs on, day and night without stop
making Gluppity-Glupp. ALso Schloppity-Schlopp.
And what do you do with this leftover goo?...
I'll show you. You dirty old Once-ler man, you!
"You're glumping the pond where the Humming-Fish hummed!
No more can they hum, for their gills are all gummed.
So I'm sending them off. Oh, their future is dreary.
They'll walk on their fins and get woefully weary
in search of some water that isn't so smeary."

And then I got mad.

I got terribly mad.

I yelled at the Lorax, "Now listen here, Dad!
All you do is yap-yap and say, 'Bad! Bad! Bad! Bad!'
Well, I have rights, sir, and I'm telling YOU
I intend to go on doing just what I do!
And, for your information, you Lorax, Im figgering
on biggering

and Biggering


and BIGGERING


AND BIGGERING,

turning MORE Truffula Trees into Thneeds
which everyone, Everyone, EVERYONE needs!"

And at that very moment, we heard a loud whack!
From outside in the fields came a sickening smack
of an axe on a tree.

Then we heard the tree fall.

*** The very last Truffula Tree of them all! ***

No more trees. No more Thneeds. No more work to be done.
So, in no time, my uncles and aunts, every one,
all waved good-bye.
They jumped into my cars
and drove away under the smog-smuggered stars.

Now all that was left 'neath the bad-smelling sky
was my big empty factory...
the Lorax...
and I.

The Lorax said nothing. Just gave me a glance...
just gave me a very sad, sad, backward glance...
as he lifted himself by the seat of his pants.

And I'll never forget the grim look on his face
when he heisted himself and took leave of this place,
through a hole in the smog, without leaving a trace.
And all that the Lorax left here in this mess
was a small pile of rocks, with one word..."UNLESS."

Whatever THAT meant,
well I just couldn't guess.
That was long, long ago.

But each day since that day
I've sat here and worried and worried away.
Through the years, while my buildings have fallen apart,
I've worried about it with all of my heart.

"But NOW" says the Once-ler,
"Now that YOU'RE here,
the word of the Lorax seems perfectly clear.

UNLESS someone like you cares a whole awful lot,
nothing is going to get better.
It's not.

"SO...

Catch!"

He lets something fall.

"It's a Truffula Seed.
It's the last one of all!
You're in charge of the last of the Truffula Seeds.
And Truffula Trees are what everyone needs.
Plant a new Truffula. Treat it with care.
Give it clean water. And feed it fresh air.
Grow a forest. Protect it from axes that hack.
Then the Lorax and all of his friends may come back."



Thank you Very Happy I love those Truffula Trees everywhere Exclamation
0 Replies
 
 

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