nimh wrote:I mean, its cool to get together and gripe about those bloody latecomers, but, say, Chai is talking about losing respect for people when they are hours late, whereas eBeth goes home / will consider dropping the contact if you're over 15 mins late. Thats hardly the same thing.
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I'm in the luxury position of living in the walhalla of coffeehouses, Central Europe, and there's a wide choice of comfortable, cute, interesting or otherwise OK places to while around in if time gets stretchy, and nobody looks strange at somebody sitting by his/her own. I mean, ya have to buy a coffee but it doesnt cost much here either, plus, its nice.
What it reads like, to me, is not that you have the luxury of coffeehouses, Nimh, but that you have the luxury of time. Coffeehouses we've got. Time, not so much.
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When I'm scheduling a day/afternoon/evening - there is often very little room for timing error. That's just how life is. Sometimes it's because of the schedules of some of the other people involved, sometimes it's because of the distances involved in getting from one event to another.
People have schedules involving their partners/parents/children/grandchildren/pets/work and school. I can't hang around waiting for one person when I may only have an hour between two other events/people. When I'm scheduling with someone new, if there's a particular time issue, I'll let them know that I'm not going to be able to wait around. If the time's not going to work for them, or they can't commit to being on time, I ask them to let me know in advance - we'll plan something different.
If they're late/no-shows after I've explained , I am going to consider it seriously whether I want to use the time I have available with those people. And I will leave - because I've made a commitment to something else - and I will respect the person I've made the commitment to.
Part of the need for people to be timely around here (I have friends who've gone back into their apartment buildings if I've been as little as two minutes late picking them up) has to do with weather. Sometimes, in the winter, it's just not safe to stand outside for more than 1 - 5 minutes. And while the city is full of coffee shops - they aren't necessarily convenient to what we want to do/need to do.
Going grocery shopping has been a social event with several friends - because it was the only time we could schedule together.
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As much as can be nice to go to a cute/interesting/any coffee house - it's a time luxury for a lot of people I know.
I'm hoping to have tea/coffee with a friend before a lecture/concert next week. We booked the concert tickets in April - and hope we'll have time for the coffee house first, but - her 80+ dad broke his wrist recently, she has a home to care for, she's helping settle her in-laws' estate, her 7th grandchild is expected - and she has to help out with grandkids #1 and #3 - if she doesn't have to work on Saturday, or isn't working on maintaining her certification in another industry.
She's quite envious of students/single people/retired people/couples who can live on one income...
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A lot of kids parties here are planned within a total 1.5 - 2 hour window. It was the same way when I was growing up. The parties/events are generally just for the kids - parents often aren't part of it, except to drop off/pick up the kids in attendance. Being late could mean missing the meal/the games/the movie <reel to reel movies were a huge treat when I was a kid - would've hated to miss one of those> /the cake/the goodie bag. Some games/events are based on a minimum number of kids. No-shows/late-comers could effect that. That's without taking into account hurt feelings.
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distances - a whole different species in Europe than here. Really. It's something that doesn't translate well. We've had relatives ask if we were in the same country, when we haven't even made it out of the city limits - and we're going to a city hours away.
