Holy Dawkins!

The Los Alamos Institute for the Furtherance of Mankind which promotes advances in science and evolutionary theory, today publicly announced its mission statement:

We, the adherents and promoters of the western science ethos today adjure our audience to promote the principles of evolutionary biology. 'Replicate!' we say. Replicate! in womb and laboratory, replicate! - replicate identity, replicate family members, replicate your good memes, destroy the bad. Insert, duplicate, displace and remove! that chemicals may come together joyously and replicate. Let us then honour not only our god of chemical replication but its angels of chemical insertion, deletion, duplication and removal - let us then honour the Sun and give proper obeisance to its vast storehouse of chemical insertions and deletions that they may further our chemical replication. Eat! we say, let chemicals enter the body and stimulate the vital fluids to replication. Defaecate we say! that our chemical removals may advance chemical replication elsewhere.


Let the sin of chemical replication, revealed by our fore-fathers and the issue of the loins of Dawkins (peace be upon him) be forgiven after His manner: let us then adopt His holy message of chemical altruism that our chemical replication may be forgiven, that we may, as Mankind, ascend and take our place among the angels of chemical insertion, deletion, and removal.