neko's image above is a yew, but my shrubs are boxwoods. Conifers, though, that makes sense.
Sorry about cold haze! No rush 'tall.
Osso, I saw your comments last night right before I logged off, forget them exactly but I had scrawled this on a post-it in response (thought of it right after I turned off computer, didn't want to turn in back on):
Part of the point is that I'm learning to think about this stuff. Kind of like cooking or something. "What I would like" is not defined enough yet.
Later, I thought of a better analogy -- fashion. It's like, when I was a teenager and forming my fashion sense, I'd see a very bohemian, artistic woman walk by in flowing skirts, jewelry everywhere, and long loose hair and think "oooh, I like that look!" Then I'd see someone wearing a very minimal outfit, just-right jeans, a black t-shirt, short hair, and I'd think "ooh, I like that look!" Then I'd see someone with an exquisite vintage jacket, skillfully applied makeup, and expensive high heels and think "oooh, I like that look!"
The problem is that they were all a LOOK, and it was partly the cohesiveness that I liked. It wasn't so simple as taking an element from one and tossing it together with another. I had to figure out the parts, figure out HOW to make a look.
So there are lots of different kinds of gardens I like, and lots of plants I like, but I also want the whole to be cohesive. I don't want it to be mostly one way and then one jarring note -- purposeful eclecticism is fine, though, if it's purposeful/ cohesive.
So that's why I like this discussion and not getting just the specific recommendations but the whys -- lavender wouldn't work behind the hydrangeas because it should be something more solid, with more presence, check. That makes sense. Imparts larger lessons, helps things come into focus.
I've just never really gardened before this, have favorite individual plants but haven't tried to plan a whole.