HORROR: A thread resurrected . . .

HORROR

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I think I'm speechless or typeless or something. My mind is working furiously but I can't get the thoughts into order. I shall return.

I hope you do, i'd like to read the thoughts of others.

b
o
o
k

marc

Setanta, first let me say that your expression, "....the heart is an arcane landscape..." is beautiful. Oh, yes, my friend. I have had several experiences with wild creatures, including spiders.

I remember when I was really young, finding an empty soap box on the floor of our bathroom in the house in Virginia. I loved fooling around with small boxes for some reason. From out of nowhere, a spider skittered across the floor and ran into the soap box. I was scared, but fascinated at the same time. I watched for a moment, then I swear to you, I saw the spider run out of the soapbox. I don't know what I was thinking, but I found some matches and set the soapbox on fire. Good grief! The spider was still in the soapbox, and when I saw what I had done, I was horrified. I ran out of the bathroom and jumped in my bed and prayed and prayed and prayed that God would forgive me for what I had done. That memory is burned in the landscape of my mind forever.

Thank you Miss Lettybetty, for your kind remarks . . . this is just what i had hoped for. I certainly forgive you a childish indiscrection arising from ignorance--now you need only forgive yourself.

I have, Set, but to this day, I go out of my way not to kill anything if I can avoid it.

Just a few days ago I was sitting quite comfortably on the patio watching the pissants (well actually we call then sugar ants) scurring across the concrete and I was stepping on them with regularity and determination when I noticed one particular ant carrying a seemingly emongous leaf but was blocked by a garden hose laying across the patio. I watched rather intently for several minutes as this one ant searched and searched for a way to get by or under the garden hose and had stopped squishing the other ants that scurried by my feet. For some totally out of character reason I suddenly lifted the hose allowing the ant with his load to pass under. It's a mystery to me.

When i was 22 I adopted a very small , very sick shelter kitty. He had been found in an abandoned house and there was no 'mother cat' found.
After his short stay at the shelter he was set up for adoption to anyone who could bring in a report of how they were going to take care of him. His life was not projected to be more then a year at best.
I had a friend who worked at a pet hospital who told me about this cat and offered me a great discount if I were to use that hospital for its care.
The kitten was named Peanut. Tiny , grey, and shakey.. he took to my home quite well. 2 months after, he had gained almost 3 lbs and was looking like a healthy cat. My brother was 12 at the time I believe and found a terrible glee in scaring the life out of this cat. Having never seen him do it, I could only imagine why that cat would race away anytime he heard my brother approaching.

I came home one day after work to find my brother home from school. Our german shepard was also in the house at the time. She approached the door and gave me a passing glance ( not common ) instead of greeting me ... as she returned to her new found interest in the corner of the kitchen. My brothers laughter told me that thier fun was at the sake of Peanut.
Sticking out from under the table I see my dogs tail wagging , my brother in the corner giggling so hard he is caughing , and Peanut against the wall.

This cat was poised and screaming. Scared to death he couldnt hold himself up right to keep his back arched , but with all his tiny might he was trying. This wasnt what was making my brother laugh. Remember his health problems? This little kitten was hissing as hard as he could.. and every time he did, he siht on himself . With the mess that was there I could tell this had been going on for a while.
Situation cleared.. I washed him up, shooed my dog and scolded my bother.
In my mind all I could think of was what it was like for poor Peanut.

I sort of imagine it as standing in front of a firing squad....
Your bandana slips, you see all the guns pointing at you , you see the people aiming for your body, and any second , someone some where will holler
-FIRE-

I have had washes of horror at what happens to one or some animals, one or some humans, one or some... well, even a city.

I just spent part of the early morning reading a piece called The Swarm (by Duncan Murrell in Harper's, August 2005) on termites and New Orleans - that fills me with incipient dread about millions and millions of C. formosanus termites and their overtaking of the structure of the city, one queen termite and her minions at a time, multiplied all over town and beyond.

The plights of our fellow creatures are heartbreaking. So many stories. I hate to harm any creature, even accidentally.

I wish you could have seen my husband's expression when he stepped on a grape on the kitchen floor and thought it was one of the many little frogs we have around here. Horror.

We once purposely killed a coral snake in our yard. We have 2 dogs & 3 cats, so we felt we Just Had To kill it (and yes, we were sure it was the poisonous coral snake and not the imitation kind). We used 2 shovels, and cut it in pieces. It still tried to escape after we cut its head off.

We are unable to volunteer at our local animal shelter, because you can see a front-end loader dumping hundreds of pet corpses into a landfill behind the shelter.

All of our pets are either strays or from shelters. Our only bumper stickers say "Spay or Neuter is the kindest way."

Poo is our Pit Bull mix, once a skinny, frightened, abused-by-people stray. She's still terribly afraid of thunderstorms, and is even frightened when the electricity flickers. She tries to get inside my body for comfort.

The only creature I'm able to kill is the cockroach. Even then I get queasy.

I'd been living with my now-husband for less than a year when he found an injured baby squirrel in our yard. While I was out, he took it inside, put it in a cardboard box with towels, tried to give it water, and put a warm light over the box. The squirrel died anyway. I knew then I loved this man and always would.

Dys


Dys, you obviously are in the middle of a nervous breakdown. Get thee to a head doc post haste.

BBB :wink:

P.S. Setanta, I will be back in a more serious mood---after I recover from the delight in seeing the new word Dys coined: "emongous."

BBB

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Edit -

I put in a horrific to me and somber post about my finding out of the death of a friend today. It doesn't fit in with all the other posts, too raw.


I'm going to put a quiet notice instead in an art thread. If there is a newspaper article in the next few days, I'll link it later - maybe. I might rather have folks remember her in good times.

Last year, the landscapers cut back the Pampas grass most severely- -first time in at least twelve years. As a consequence, the disenfranchised rodents invaded the nearest apartment building. A certain Ms. Quinn, a hoverround freak, had them by the score. I put stickytraps out daily and carried the still kicking, squealing mice, and a few rats, out to the dumpster for her. I could never be certain if the humane thing was to kill them first, or simply toss them in. I alternated for a time, becoming sicker in spirit each time I killed one. Mice are simply too intelligent to kill that way. Sure, the health risks, and the peace of mind of residents comes to the fore. Still, I hope to never see such a situation again.

Once in middle school, while waiting for the doors to unlock outside (a few of us always got there an hour or so early), I witnessed a sight that has given me chills ever since.

Minding her own business, a beautiful spider began crossing the sidewalk, when one of the boys noticed her. Soon, four or so started walking over with a look that just made my stomach turn. She had an over-stuffed eggsack tacked to her, but they weren't ready to hatch yet. I could only start to say "DON'T DO IT!" before hundreds (and I do mean hundreds; the sidewalk was nearly completely black for a split second) of baby spiders ran franticly from underneath one of the boys' shoe. He'd squashed the mother, and busted her egg. Now there were hundreds of babies running around, no smaller than this letter: o . Of course, they started jumping all over the babies and squishing them into the concrete as well.

I was almost in tears. I walked home and didn't go to school that day - it was that or beat the living crap out of the boys.

I'm one of those people who will take in a Moose if it needs care. My mother, however, is not. This has ignited many arguments and grudges over the issue of what animals to take in and which to look away from. If it were up to me, I'd never look away.

Thursday morning, we went to McDonalds for breakfast. There was a beautiful husky walking around, panting and weak. I begged and pleaded for her to get it - we do, after all, already have a Husky mix and they would have gotten along famously I'm sure. The answer was no though, as usual. It did have a collar on it, and a tag, so I windled down to at least being allowed to hop out and read the tag to get a number to call or something.. Again, "no." She likes animals, but doenst put them in front of her own needs. This is where we differ. It was heartbreaking for me to pull out of the driveway knowing I could have at least given it my water. I still could have, if I were a defiant person, but unfortunately I'm too well behaved for my own good.

My dream in life would be to open up an animal sanctuary. I had an opportunity to volunteer at Oklahoma's top-notch wildlife Rehab, but it was so far away that I had no way to get there (still can't drive, Godfriggendamnit..). I did bring in baby squirrels though, whos mother had died somehow in our barn attic. Then there's been all the box turtles I've made make-shift habitats for (I am in love with turtles and terrapins of all kinds, they are one of the funnest, in my opinion, animals to care for), the birds, the lizards, the kittens, the puppies, and one Opossum that, as gullible as I was at the time, had me thinking he really was dead! Then someone had the courtesy to explain the name to me...

(This is very upsetting & stomach churning. I may not be able to read more. Sorry, set.)

That's all right, Miss Olga, i understand. It's a tough subject, but i felt it needed to be aired, for those who can take it, and for those who need to work it out.