Are you supposed to ask for something for Valentine's Day?

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Now we all know that there are certain days when it's okay to ask for things. Your birthday or Christmas. But is Valentine's Day one of those days when you ask for something specific? This weekend the wife and I were sitting around and she casually said that she wanted some chocolate covered strawberries for Valentine's day. We typically are just card people because we are always doing for each other throughout the year so V-day is just another day. Personally I think it's more so for women to be made to feel special by their loved one. However, if they are doing nice things for you throughout the year what does it matter if he does something outwardly on 2/14? I went out and bought a carton of strawberries this weekend and some chocolate and plan to make her some covered strawberries tonight and I've already given her a card too. Now, she also said to me this weekend that she wants me to start giving her flowers. Stop me if I'm wrong but ladies, if you have to ask for those things does it diminish it's value or meaning. "He brought me flowers not because he wanted to but because I asked." This morning when she walked into the bedroom where I'm working, looks at me and says, "where are my flowers?" I can't remember the last time I gave her flowers, not because I don't love her but just that we're not big flower people. Some people aren't chocolate people and others aren't card people. We're just not flower people. Doesn't mean I don't love her I just don't spend money on flowers that are going to be dead in a few days.

Are you supposed to ask for something on Valentine's day or do you just sit back and wait on your man (loved one) to give you something and just appreciate what they give you?

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Type: Question • Score: 5 • Views: 675 • Replies: 26

[+3] - glitterbag - 02/14/2022Maybe your wife was desperately worried you would have nothing to complain about on Valentines Day. What would be the result of that????? The rest of us would not have thought of all the things...

@Barry2021,

What did you say to her?

1 Reply

@Barry2021,

You really a big romantic, buy her some bloody flowers, it's Valentines Day you tight git.

1 Reply

@izzythepush,

I think Valentine's Day is just a money grab. I have never celebrated it.

1 Reply

@Mame,

Mame wrote:

What did you say to her?

I told her happy Valentine's day and I have the ingredients to make her the chocolate covered strawberries tonight. I do not have a problem with that. I also gave her a nice card.

Side note: She gave me a card and a $10 Starbucks gift cards she got at our church's Christmas party last Dec. I had been telling her since she got it to just give it to me because she's not a coffee drinker. I am. It was one of those Chinese gift exchange games and she ended up with it. Yeah, I guess guys always get the short end of the stick when it comes to V-day. She is asking for specific things whereas I get a $10 gift card she's been carrying around in her purse for several months trying to decide if she wants to give it to me or start drinking coffee herself. Again, not knocking the GC because I did want it.

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@Mame,

Mame wrote:

I think Valentine's Day is just a money grab. I have never celebrated it.

And again, neither have we. WE are typically card givers. We both can go back years and years and pull out every card we've gotten or given. That's just what we do. I'm looking at it this way. Women, are you supposed to "ask" for something specific you want for V-day or should you just wait and see what he gets you and just appreciate it? Now I'm not talking about him forgetting the day then he gives you a card on the 15th when the stores mark them down like 50%.

1 Reply

@Barry2021,

When I get a card, I read it and toss it in the recycling bin. An e-card is best for someone like me. My husband has kept all our wedding cards and has never looked at them. They're in a box in the crawl space somewhere.

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@Barry2021,

Rather than as "ask", consider it feedback. She wants you to be more demonstrative. You never give her flowers so maybe it would be nice to surprise her with flowers every now and then. You don't need this type of affirmation, so the argument "well she never does this for me" really doesn't apply. Honestly, this is a low cost, high reward type thing. Be thankful she told you rather than secretly resented your lack of affection. Also, doing chocolate strawberries together sounds romantic. Good luck.

1 Reply

@engineer,

engineer wrote:

Rather than as "ask", consider it feedback. She wants you to be more demonstrative. You never give her flowers so maybe it would be nice to surprise her with flowers every now and then. You don't need this type of affirmation, so the argument "well she never does this for me" really doesn't apply. Honestly, this is a low cost, high reward type thing. Be thankful she told you rather than secretly resented your lack of affection. Also, doing chocolate strawberries together sounds romantic. Good luck.

Oh, trust me, we won't be doing them together. She'll sit in the living room and wait for me to finish. She asked me to make them for her not for us to make them together. I know my wife. There have been plenty of times I've asked her to come cook with me or even for me to show her how to cook something and she has refused. For my birthday in July I have asked for one thing. A home cooked meal with my favorite dish. Country fried steak with milk gravy and some sort of side veggie. I'll have to show her how to make it and I know she's not going to take well to instructions. My wife claims to know how to cook but there are some things she just refuses to make because it takes too much time. Although she doesn't know how to make a grilled cheese sandwich or even an omelet. Time will tell if I get my birthday meal or will she just take me to Cracker Barrel and order it for me.

Her meaning of affirmation means buying her flowers at random but my meaning of affirmation is a home cooked meal. Let's see how this goes over. I do for her multiples times but I only get one day a year. She'd like flowers at random but what if I say I'd like something sexual every now and again? Then I'm a pig and she will refuse to do that. Guys are usually always expected to just pay pay pay where as if the woman is asked to do something then she has a problem with it. Me personally, I'm fine with just a card. I'm not asking for anything specific for V-day. To me it's just a made up holiday so women can be made to feel special that one day out of the year. If that's the case then they shouldn't expect anything all year long and just wait to be showered on that one day. (Said in jest)

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Maybe your wife was desperately worried you would have nothing to complain about on Valentines Day. What would be the result of that????? The rest of us would not have thought of all the things that irritate the living crap out of us.......or maybe the day would have just passed quietly for us.

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@glitterbag,

Oh crap, I totally missed the birthday revenge that you have to endure. It must be torture.

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@Barry2021,

I'm sorry, but I don't see the logic, you say your wife can't cook but you want her to make your favourite meal which she has no idea how to cook.

I'd rather go to a restaurant, where the people can cook, and enjoy what I'm eating.

It's a lot of pressure on your wife in those circumstances, why does she have to cook your favourite meal, couldn't she **** something else up instead?

1 Reply

@glitterbag,

glitterbag wrote:

Maybe your wife was desperately worried you would have nothing to complain about on Valentines Day. What would be the result of that????? The rest of us would not have thought of all the things that irritate the living crap out of us.......or maybe the day would have just passed quietly for us.

I guess the point I'm trying to make is that women have no problem asking for stuff, and usually it's monetary things that they want. Not saying they aren't worth it but I just don't see the need to take one day out of 365 to show her how much I care about her. We do that throughout the year. However, the minute I don't do anything for her on 2/14 then she's possibly mad and upset. You're not looking at all the times we went out and I paid. Gifts on your birthday or Christmas, etc. 2/14 is just another man made holiday to make women feel special. However, if I ask for something special or out of the ordinary then I'm made to look like a prima donna or some sex crazed pig. Men aren't suppose to ask for anything. They are to be the providers and that's it.

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@Barry2021,

What a crock misogynistic flapddoodle. You really believe that "stuff"?

She asked for flowers and you didn't give them because "we're not flower people"? Her feelings don't register with you. That's a shameful thing you admitted to there.

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@bobsal u1553115,

bobsal u1553115 wrote:

What a crock misogynistic flapddoodle. You really believe that "stuff"?

She asked for flowers and you didn't give them because "we're not flower people"? Her feelings don't register with you. That's a shameful thing you admitted to there.

She asked for chocolate covered strawberries, which I'm making tonight. Ok, she asked for flowers too. How many things will your woman ask for and are you supposed to give them everything they ask for?

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@Barry2021,

Still less than a tenner, with the gift card you're quids in.

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@Barry2021,

A single red rose is considered v romantic and cheaper than a bunch.

If you turn up at the end of the day they might be reduced.

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One year on 2/14, my husband came in from the back yard and told me he'd picked up all the dog poop (3 dogs) for Valentine's Day - lol! I was delighted and made him a very dry martini.

1 Reply

@Barry2021,

Barry not sure this getting through to you but it is a common theme on anything you vent or co plain about...Me myself and I...get it...right here you say I just don't see the need..yes you don't see the need, but someone else feels differently.

Just think if you were capable of putting yourself in someone else's shoes you just might get some positive results. It is not a matter of right or wrong having empathy with another person. All your posts seems to focus on your point of view and how you feel and none seen to have you reflect on how the other person feels..you almost seem incapable to understand that a person may feel otherwise.

There is no reason to necessarily agree with the other person but understanding they feel otherwise and acknowledging that can go a long way. Or else keep doing what you are doing as that seems to be working for you...right?

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@Mame,

Mame wrote:

One year on 2/14, my husband came in from the back yard and told me he'd picked up all the dog poop (3 dogs) for Valentine's Day - lol! I was delighted and made him a very dry martini.

The thing is that worked for you and your husband knew it..that shows caring..for someone else it is something different.

I don't think it is wrong that someone else wants flowers or chocolate or whatever ...if it isn't causing significant hardship what the heck? If you know what makes your loved one happy why the heck wouldn't you do it? And it goes either way male or female or whatever your preference is...it is the caring that is important and showing it in the way that the other person prefers....isn't that what you do for a loved one care more about them than yourself?

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