Are you supposed to ask for something for Valentine's Day?

@Linkat,

My favorite line of your response "isn't that what you do for a loved one, care more about them than yourself?" That's how most of us show our spouses we care, apparently it's an exhausting exercise for some folks.

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@izzythepush,

izzythepush wrote:

I'm sorry, but I don't see the logic, you say your wife can't cook but you want her to make your favourite meal which she has no idea how to cook.

I'd rather go to a restaurant, where the people can cook, and enjoy what I'm eating.

It's a lot of pressure on your wife in those circumstances, why does she have to cook your favourite meal, couldn't she **** something else up instead?

It's not that she can't cook, she just refuses to try anything new. She knows I love country fried steak with milk gravy but in the 20 years since we've been together do you know how many times she's cooked or even tried it? Not once. Again, this is a woman who claims to knot even know how to make a grilled cheese sandwich. When it gets closer to my birthday or even the day before I'll kindly walk her through the steps of tenderizing the meat, seasoning the flour, breading it, frying it, making the gravy, etc. But what I'm going to hear all day long is, "You must think I'm stupid!" If someone had to show you how to do something you've never done before are you going to think they think you're stupid or just don't know how yet? Every year we usually invite the kids over to watch the Super Bowl with us and we usually do a spread of food. This year she just wanted it to be us. I made several things, wings, a nacho bar, pigs in a blanket, and potato skins. Not once did she ever offer to help or even come in the kitchen. She just sat on the sofa playing on her phone till I told her dinner was ready. I know my wife and her limitations. Limitations to mean there are just some things she's not going to do. Cooking a dish with more then 3 or 4 ingredients or steps she looks at as a fancy dish.

1 Reply

@bobsal u1553115,

bobsal u1553115 wrote:

What a crock misogynistic flapddoodle. You really believe that "stuff"?

She asked for flowers and you didn't give them because "we're not flower people"? Her feelings don't register with you. That's a shameful thing you admitted to there.

It's not that she asked for flowers but it's the point that she asked for flowers. You follow me? If you have to ask for something and you get it does that mean they think the world of you or are you going to think they only got me that because I asked for it?

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@Linkat,

Linkat wrote:

Mame wrote:

One year on 2/14, my husband came in from the back yard and told me he'd picked up all the dog poop (3 dogs) for Valentine's Day - lol! I was delighted and made him a very dry martini.

The thing is that worked for you and your husband knew it..that shows caring..for someone else it is something different.

I don't think it is wrong that someone else wants flowers or chocolate or whatever ...if it isn't causing significant hardship what the heck? If you know what makes your loved one happy why the heck wouldn't you do it? And it goes either way male or female or whatever your preference is...it is the caring that is important and showing it in the way that the other person prefers....isn't that what you do for a loved one care more about them than yourself?

Maybe I'm looking at it this way. If I gave you a dozen roses just because I was thinking about you that day you would feel so much better than had you asked me for a dozen roses and I got you a dozen roses. Do you understand what I'm saying?

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@Barry2021,

I can see why she wouldn't want to have you ordering her around in the kitchen.

The only other place I've heard of milk steak is on It's always Sunny in Philadelphia, I never thought for a second it was a real thing.

Pigs in a blanket are something else over here, we call those sausage rolls.

The superbowl passes me by.

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@Barry2021,

Barry2021 wrote:

Guys are usually always expected to just pay pay pay where as if the woman is asked to do something then she has a problem with it.

You're just angry that yet again, she beat you at your own game. Your marriage is built on tit for tat money expenditures. How many times have you EXPECTED her to pay for a dinner out? Wasn't that the arrangement? Didn't you make a post that she paid for dinner with gift certificates and you were MAD, thinking that was unfair, that somehow you were cheated because she didn't use her own money?

Do you realize how many posts of your actually revolve around money and how it's YOURS and by GOD you'll make sure EVERYONE knows it? This is the dynamic YOU set up for your marriage, and she plays by YOUR rules, now all of a sudden you're blaming her??

You will not get a home made dinner for your birthday. You'll get some store bought trinket because you've shown her that her efforts in doing anything else will not be appreciated and criticized to the hilt. She's chosen NOT to cook because nothing she does is ever good enough.

And this, Barry:

Quote:

Although she doesn't know how to make a grilled cheese sandwich or even an omelet.

Is possibly the reason why she'll never bother even trying.

Hope you're happy on Valentine's Day, cuz I see a very disappointing birthday for you in July.

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@Barry2021,

I specifically refuse the holiday.

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Are you supposed to ask for something for Valentine's Day?

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