Granddaughter's 1st birthday: What to put on a shirt?

PARAGRAPHS please!

I do not think anyone doubts your love for your extended family members...it sounds very suspect when you call out biological and non biological and then preference but I treat them the same ... And it seems you do this pretty close to every time you mention her when there is no reason to. I think JC said I just call my kids my kids ...not my adopted kids. I call all my nieces my nieces I doubt say one is not biological and the others are...they are simply my nieces....unless there us a specific reason you point out in the subject matter.

And it is ok to have a favorite grandchild. Honestly it is very apparent that this child is your favorite..the Apple of your eye. You can still treat them all equally and still have a favorite...it is normal.

I actually could because after my granddaughter was born I stood up and looked over the sheet to see what they were doing.

Because when my daughter asked my wife and I could she move back home with us the last week or so of her pregnancy it was because her roommate didn't drive so she was worried about making it to the hospital when she went into labor. Plus, the roommate has a very sweet but very autistic son and she can't rush him to do anything. When she went into labor she was here with us so I took her and stayed with her the entire time. We thought it would just be a natural birth where she pushed and the baby came out but when her contractions got worse and she hadn't dilated enough they felt it could put the baby in fetal distress so they opted for an emergency c-section. There was no time to call anyone to the hospital to take my place. Her mom was nowhere around because she is now on drugs or at that time she was and no one could get a hold of her or even find her. The baby daddy wasn't in the state. And then on top of that we're talking March of 2021. The pandemic was still in full swing like it is now. There was no vaccine out at that time if my memory serves me correctly and since I took her to the hospital and checked her in once my name was on her paperwork no one else was even allowed on the maternity floor. That's how I ended up in the OR. I look at it as a blessing because I was right there watching when my daughter was born many years ago and I again was right there watching as my granddaughter was born.

Go for it! That is love to see.

Trust me, I have more than one favorite grandchild. Of course the newest one. My step-son's oldest daughter who has been here with the wife and I since she was about a month old. And then there's my adopted/surrogate daughter's first child. She just turned 13 and there's always something special about the very first grandchild. But don't get me wrong, I love all of them equally. I'm the youngest child of 7 and I still say I'm mom mom's favorite. Just playing, she loves us all equally.

Ew.

Barry, there's a BIG difference being supportive of your wife during the delivery process than being with your DAUGHTER.

Things like that don't make me squeamish. But watching my newest grandchild take her first breath, cutting her cord, and holding her for the first time I wouldn't trade anything in the world for. Dad is a bit of a deadbeat though. He did make it to the hospital a day or so later once he got back to the state and he was adamant about not getting her vaccinated stating that the hospital would put some sort of tracking device in her and they would possibly take her away from him. When the nurse came in and asked if we wanted her to have her first round of shots I calmly looked her in the face and said "give her whatever she needs." Now the dad isn't coming to the baby's 1st birthday party because he said he doesn't have anywhere to stay. He honestly thought he and my daughter were still "like that" to where she would just let him crash at her place and in her bed. No buddy, yall are not a couple anymore. Get a hotel room or an AirBNB.

I was right there when my other daughter had her 2nd child, my 1st and only grandson. He had to go straight into an incubator due to some complications but today is a healthy 9 year old very active boy. 6 grands and only 1 grandson. Every time I see him he keeps asking me "granddaddy, am I still the only one?" Those little things make me smile. I hate that I come off harsh to some of yall and I honestly don't mean to. I was just raised by tough parents who expected more of us.

As I mentioned in an earlier post my daughter's mom is strung out on drugs now. She has 6 kids by 6 different men. My daughter was the 2nd in the line. I'm close to all my daughter's siblings. A few years ago my daughter's mom told me that she has always regretted that I got full custody of our daughter when she was about 2 but I have to do what is in the best interest of my child. She has never really been a stable person throughout these last 25 years or so and I guess it just got the best of her. I made sure she, my daughter, stayed in school, went to college, and graduated. My only job now is to see that she doesn't get hooked up with some other looser and gets pregnant again.

What was I suppose to do, leave her in the OR by herself without any support? My daughter was already a nervous wreck so the last thing I was going to do was walk out of the room. It's not like I was there for the conception. This was the birth and she needed me there holding her hand telling her everything was going to be alright. And even when my daughter and the baby came home from the hospital she came back to our house after the delivery to re-coop from the c-section. There were a number of times my daughter would breast feed right in front of me. I sat in the hospital while the lactation specialist walked my daughter through getting the baby to latch on. See, I don't see those things as sexual. I didn't get a rise out of it. My g-baby needed to learn to feed. I think the problem with some guys is that they don't like to take an active role is some things. Making the baby is fun and fine but be there throughout the pregnancy. Go to the doctor's appointments. Find out what's going on. Be there at the birth. A baby being born doesn't mess up a vagina that bad. It does go back to it's normal state most of the time. Watch your child being born. That's an experience you may only get to see once or twice in your lifetime. Granted, years ago when I was born the dads were not even allowed in the delivery room. I was taking pics when my daughter was born and I recently showed her the photos. I was lucky enough to snap my camera at the exact moment she was born and all the amniotic fluid coming out. Perfectly centered and perfectly focused. And I'm not talking about a cell phone or even a digital camera photo. This was back when you still had to go to the drug store and buy film for a disposable camera. I will cherish those photos for the rest of my life.

Personal boundaries, Barry. You believe everyone has to follow the rules you set but the same rules do not apply to you. You do not believe you should have to obey the rules and regulations you set forth on other people. That's narcissistic and frustrating for others.

No, your daughter did not NEED you in the OR. She isn't the first woman ever to give birth nor is she the first to ever have a C-Section. Nor was she left with an incompetent staff of nurses, OB/GYN's, surgeons and other various medical staff who perform these types of deliveries on a daily basis. Yes, you should have backed out and told her you love her and will see her afterwards.

You overstepped your boundary.

Again, do not equate the experience with your wife as a carte blanc experience to share with your daughter. It's not the same and quite disturbing on it's own.

You are correct, a lactating baby is not a sexual act. But the lack of your personal boundary allowing your daughter to bond isn't in the grandfatherly role, that's just odd.

Just like this t-shirt idea.

A t-shirt marking a child's first birthday is a silly idea to begin with. And to actually think these shirts will last a "lifetime" is moronic at best, a rag to wash the floor with is the most that can be hoped for in a month's time.

Instead, you want to make a mountain out of a mole hill, claiming because you've PAID for the privilege of planning a granddaughter's birthday party somehow gives you the right to tell others what to think and feel and print on a t-shirt.

Pay for the birthday cupcakes. And nix the idea of congratulatory t-shirts.

She probably did need him in the OR. Her mom's not in the picture, it was her first child, and she needs help throwing a party for a one year old. I think it is perfectly reasonable for a parent to be with their daughter for a birth. I don't understand why you think this was inappropriate.

Barry seems to be a real hands-on father and I would have bet on him being with her. She is his 'biological' daughter, after all, although likely he'd have been present, if asked, at any of his daughters' birthings.

Agreed. Regardless of her "need", if she wanted him there to support her, more power to them. Not sure why it's ok for a mom to be with her daughter for delivery but not her dad.

To me this is an entirely personal decision between Barry and his daughter. I honestly see nothing eww or wrong with it. Some people film births natural or C. This would be eww to me .

When I was going to have my first my mom said to me...you are going to have your husband there? Do you realize everything that goes on with childbirth? To her, it would be completely uncomfortable to have her husband there.

To each there own.

Ew.

No. Just no.

Tell everyone to print whatever they want, but they will have to wear them inside out. Once you explain that other people's thoughts irritate you, everyone will understand.

Her's another party hint, assign numbers to each guest so no-one is kissing your grand child out of order. Always works for me.

I think you should wear a shirt.

Why wouldn't you?

He could not wear one as a sign of protest that nobody listens to him. He could have whatever tattooed on his chest instead. Everybody's protesting these days - I think that would be a spectacular move.

He could have something useful tattooed, like first aid instructions or directions to a popular zoo.

"I was Born a whole year ago AND ALL I GOT WAS THIS STUPID T SHIRT"

And pissed off my biological grandfather..................