Just because you're paranoid doesn't mean they're not out to get you.
Never share a pizza with a blind mule.
If people are laughing at you because you are ugly, emember that stupid people are always stupid and ugly people can have plastic surgery but if you're stupid and ugly you probably didn't get that everyone was laughing at you anyway so this doesn't apply to you.
God is in the details, but who has the time to look.
If 4 out of 5 people suffer from diarrhea , does that mean that the last one likes it?
It is better to bear the slings and arrows of outrageous fortune than to find yourself in a bathroom without toilet paper.
It's better to keep you're mouth shut and pretend your stupid than open it & remove all doubt
Only ugly people believe that looks don't matter.
The best things in life are free, with the exception of a martini.
A hard man is good to find.
One can never have too many friends, but one can have too many varicose veins.
