No one else is responding. I hope my responses are helpful. This seems very similar to the other thread you started (generally it is better to continue a topic in a single thread).
I have never had these exact issues . I have found talk therapy to be very helpful (dealing with trauma). In talk therapy you will have a professional who you can trust to take your feelings seriously. They can also help you work out the emotions you are dealing with.
The point is to get over these feelings so you can live a fulfilling life. This is true whether there is a drug involved or not. The feelings you are having are important and real no matter what happened with your drink. I hope you are able to work through them. Here you will find mostly well-meaning strangers on the internet... there is no way that we can work through what is happening.
I hope you can find a good therapist.