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100000 sins as a gift to Satan (How do I do this, What sins should/could I commit?

 
 
Reply Fri 20 Mar, 2020 03:36 pm
....
 
farmerman
 
  4  
Reply Fri 20 Mar, 2020 03:47 pm
@Kiatou666,
I woul start with removing the "DO NOT REMOVE UNDER PENALTY OF LAW" Stickers on all mattresses you can find. Satan will love your ass.
edgarblythe
 
  0  
Reply Fri 20 Mar, 2020 03:50 pm
@farmerman,
Pretty sinister, farmerman. I was thinking about something a bit less nefarious, like swiping the dentures out of old ladies' mouths.
0 Replies
 
Kiatou666
 
  -2  
Reply Fri 20 Mar, 2020 04:15 pm
@farmerman,
I was thinking of rejecting God by selling my soul to Satan, worshipping him and hating God and Jesus...
edgarblythe
 
  3  
Reply Fri 20 Mar, 2020 04:16 pm
@Kiatou666,
That sounds pretty good too.
0 Replies
 
Sturgis
 
  3  
Reply Fri 20 Mar, 2020 04:21 pm
@Kiatou666,
You cannot hate God and HeyZeus once you give up your soul.

Says so in Beelzebub's Handbook of Satanic Rules and Regulations
Kiatou666
 
  -1  
Reply Fri 20 Mar, 2020 04:37 pm
@Sturgis,
Zeus? I think you mean Jesus. Anyway what list of sins should I commit?
farmerman
 
  2  
Reply Fri 20 Mar, 2020 05:02 pm
@Kiatou666,
sounds like you want to bite the BIG ONE. Satan's a pussy.
0 Replies
 
maxdancona
 
  0  
Reply Fri 20 Mar, 2020 05:32 pm
@Kiatou666,
I would go with masturbation. But for God's sake, use lotion.
farmerman
 
  2  
Reply Fri 20 Mar, 2020 05:33 pm
@maxdancona,
no , for you its mathturbation.
maxdancona
 
  1  
Reply Fri 20 Mar, 2020 05:42 pm
@farmerman,
That would count as a sin function.
farmerman
 
  2  
Reply Fri 20 Mar, 2020 06:21 pm
@maxdancona,
Im pullin you over fer drinkin an derivin.
0 Replies
 
Olivier5
 
  1  
Reply Tue 31 Mar, 2020 12:02 pm
You could give 100000 blow jobs.
chai2
 
  1  
Reply Tue 31 Mar, 2020 12:59 pm
@Olivier5,
Oh come on Oliver5.

If done properly, one blow job is worth at Least 4 sins.

Expert level is more like 9 per.
Olivier5
 
  1  
Reply Tue 31 Mar, 2020 01:14 pm
@chai2,
I don’t know about that. By Bill Clinton’s accounting it’s only worth 0.5 sin...
farmerman
 
  1  
Reply Tue 31 Mar, 2020 01:25 pm
@Olivier5,
well if ya do it enough it really adds up.
Olivier5
 
  1  
Reply Tue 31 Mar, 2020 01:33 pm
@farmerman,
Hell has its price... The OP should get going ASAP. Way to go!
0 Replies
 
chai2
 
  1  
Reply Tue 31 Mar, 2020 02:09 pm
@farmerman,
farmerman wrote:

well if ya do it enough it really adds up.


I know.

It's a numbers game.

livinglava
 
  -2  
Reply Tue 31 Mar, 2020 02:15 pm
@Kiatou666,
Kiatou666 wrote:

I was thinking of rejecting God by selling my soul to Satan, worshipping him and hating God and Jesus...

Why stop there? Why not keep going and reject Satan, give your soul to God through acceptance of Jesus Christ as your lord and savior?

Maybe Satan has extra respect for those who take opposition to the point of defying Him and returning to God.

You'll never know till you try.
0 Replies
 
farmerman
 
  2  
Reply Tue 31 Mar, 2020 05:29 pm
@chai2,
As a fan of Father Guido Sarducci, I suppose youd remember that line. It cme from his bit about the newest papal encyclical, "VITAM LABORUM est"
("Life is a Job).

Where the pope proposed that youd get paid in heavenly dollars for each day of good you did, and then youd be docked a certain amt of cash for each sin.
Like murder, youd lose about a million dollars, and stealing from the porr youd lose like 25000 dollars. Ten for masturbation youd lose like 25 cents ."And that adds up fpr some of you guys"


Did he die?
 

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