@splitenduhoh,
Well, first off, stop picking at the splits. You're definitely making them worse. I would also suggest keeping your hair short, shorter than it currently is. Let your hairdresser deep condition it when you go. With a very short haircut (as in about ear length), you'll need to get a trim every 4-6 weeks or so.
And ask about products. Tell your stylist you don't want to spend a fortune. So if they try to sell you the stuff the salon carries, ask for the information, take a photo if you can, and don't buy it. Instead, get on the internet and Google whatever the product's full name is plus substitute or alternative and see what comes up. Beauty supply stores can also be cheaper.
And if you also have problems with dry skin, ask your doctor to refer you to a nutritionist. Maybe the problem is coming from within.