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Sun 22 May, 2005 02:59 pm
Have you ever really really wanted something very badly, and you just knew that if you didn't get it, your life would be sort of ruined or you would be very sad? And then you end up not getting it, and you're not sad at all? In fact, you're a little relieved?
I just had this happen. It was so interesting. I really wanted this sort of opportunity. Ended up not getting it. I was anticipating the news for weeks, and was a bit worried how I'd feel if I didn't get this thing. The anticipation of being bummed! But strangely, I don't feel sad at all. In fact, I think I actually feel happy I didn't get it.That is so weird. Yet if I would have got it, I would have never known this feeling of being happy I didn't get it. Hilarious. Anyone ever experience something like that?
Then of course there's the deal of Be Careful What You Wish For--kind of the opposite of the above. Did you ever really wish for something, and you end up getting it, and it ends up being a really really bad thing or experience?
Its so funny that sometimes, we don't even know what to wish for, for ourselves. That is, sometimes we are not good at predicting what will make our own selves happy!
Are you really really good at predicting what will make you happy in the long term? I think I'm great for short term predictions on that, but long term is more difficult. Perhaps this is part of human nature, as we all change through time.
no - this has never happened to me. my entire life has gone exactly the way I planned. what are you talking about?
OK - really - I have found the things that have given me the most satisfaction in life have come totally out of left field.
and the stuff I thought I wanted? pfffft, can't remember most of them.
I was at the gym once and was eavesdropping on two 20 something women - or actually the one who was using up all the air.
It was amazing - she had her entire life planned out to the nth degree. Kids, career, travel and what to wear while doing it all.
What I thought was absolutely hilarious was that it appeared that so far, EVERYTHING had happened right on her schedule.
I really wish I could be there when a shoelace breaks.
I could write a book on the aftermath of that.
Chai Tea wrote:no - this has never happened to me. my entire life has gone exactly the way I planned. what are you talking about?
Dang. And Set is giving me a bad time for giving people a bad time.
Ok. Fine. You are hereby on notice.
Chai Tea wrote:OK - really - I have found the things that have given me the most satisfaction in life have come totally out of left field.
and the stuff I thought I wanted? pfffft, can't remember most of them.
Yes.
This is the part of the deal that I think is very interesting. I've heard this from a lot of people.
Its like we make all these plans to get and do all these things that we think will make us happy, etc.
But in reality, we often don't know what the heck even REALLY makes us happy, and some of our best experiences just sort of happened to us--having almost nothing to do with all our planning & scheming & hoping...
interesting. It almost makes one think--why try too awfully hard to plan out everything to the nth degree--you don't know what you really want or what will truly make you happy anyway...
My Mama al'us said: "Forrest, life is like a box of choclates . . . "
Setanta wrote:My Mama al'us said: "Forrest, life is like a box of choclates . . . "
See now that is one area I am good in predicting what will make me happy.
The really dark pieces with the nuts inside--those will make me really happy. And when I eat them, well actually when I just taste them and let them sit in my mouth, it does actually make me feel happy. I predicted it correctly!
The ones with the pink creme and all that really suck. I can predict that if I eat one of those, I will be unhappy. And I am almost always correct.
I like the boxes of chocolate that have like the key-legend on the inside of the box top that sort of tells you what is inside each piece of chocolate. That way you can be sure to pick the ones with the nuts inside and avoid the hated pink creme.
What does that say about me? Am I like the 20something girl above that ChaiTea mentions that has a utterly perfect life planned?
I like the ones w/ the pink creme inside - I hate the ones that have this real hard center.
Naw - That girl I mentioned seemed like she had either had everything handed to her all her life, or she was on a hot streak rolling the dice.
Nothings wrong with having a legend on your candy box, it's just that things get mispackaged at the plant.
The key is still working with the pink creme you're not so fond of.
Chai Tea wrote:
Quote:The key is still working with the pink creme you're not so fond of.
I know.
I think a flaw of mine is that I'll just tend to bite into one of those pink creme things in life, and immediately just spit it out and throw it away. Walk away.
Then I end up with no chocolate at all. Instead, I might have been able to salvage some excellent chocolate from around the edges--if I'd just taken a few minutes to separate the creme from the chocolate, I could have had a really good experience.
Re: Be Careful What You Wish For....
extra medium wrote:Have you ever really really wanted something very badly, and you just knew that if you didn't get it, your life would be sort of ruined or you would be very sad?
Not for some time. I don't really do the desperate anticipation thing anymore, I let life take me where it will and it's much more relaxing.
But I do know what you mean, often events and my emotional reactions to them aren't what I would expect.
Quote:Have you ever really really wanted something very badly, and you just knew that if you didn't get it, your life would be sort of ruined or you would be very sad? And then you end up not getting it, and you're not sad at all? In fact, you're a little relieved?
Not really. I think that should something like that actually happen, it'd mean I never wanted the thing anyway. I can't imagine being relieved when I don't get what I want.... I might be relieved because I finally know the result... To me the big problem is not knowing. So when I get an answer, even if it's not what I wanted, I'm relieved because it's finally over, no more analyzing and questioning.
The "Be careful what you wish for?" deal.... I don't think it's about getting what you wanted and then realizing that it's a really bad thing. When I want something really bad, I tend to idealize it... big time... I put it on a pedestal.... so when I finally get it and I'm back in the real world where nothing is perfect I notice all the flaws (which I obviously couldn't see... the "thing" being high up on the pedestal and all... ). So the big question every time something like that happens is whether or not I'm willing to accept things as they are... of course there's the good part, the part I wanted in the first place, but there is always more to it than that... so I guess it's all about compromising....
Re: Be Careful What You Wish For....
Marquis de Carabas wrote:extra medium wrote:Have you ever really really wanted something very badly, and you just knew that if you didn't get it, your life would be sort of ruined or you would be very sad?
Not for some time. I don't really do the desperate anticipation thing anymore, I let life take me where it will and it's much more relaxing.
I actually like the desperate anticipation. It's what makes life interesting. If there's nothing to feel desperate about, or nothing to anticipate... then what's the point... isn't that really boring?
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